028. - Darcie Wilder

All right, this episode of How Long Gone is brought to you by Stateside with Kai and Carter, a new podcast from The Guardian. And they are using this podcast to slow down the news and wrestle with the questions that we all have about what's happening in the world. And they do it three times a week. Jason, does that sound familiar to you? We don't really talk about, you know, a lot of international global news items and climates and cultures and sports and things like that. We do talk about fashion and wellness, but for everything else, Kai and Carter are a great place. All right, so who couldn't use more news? Listen wherever you get your podcast. or watch on YouTube. Want to make a podcast? Spotify's got a platform that lets you make one super easily, then distribute it everywhere, and even earn money. We like that. All in one place for totally free. It's called Spotify for Podcasters. And here's how it works. Spotify for podcasters lets you record and edit podcasts right from your cellular telephone or your computer. So no matter what your setup is like, you can start creating today. Then you can distribute your podcast to Spotify and everywhere else, those other places that podcasts are heard. Video podcasts are also available on Spotify. And when you want to take conversations with your fans to the next level, Q&As and polls are the best way to get them talking. With Spotify for podcasters, you can earn money in a variety of ways, including ads and... and podcast subscriptions. And best of all, it's totally free. Zero catch. We've been using it ever since we started How Long Gone. And ever since I discovered Spotify for Podcasters, I feel like having the option of turning off the Q&As and the polls on the user dashboard has really helped boost my creativity and take it to another level. I highly recommend giving it a try. Download the Spotify for Podcasters app or go to www.spotify.com slash podcasters to get started.

Oh, what's good? Oh, the boys are back in town, baby. It's been three long days. Exactly. Well, you know, three days is a long time for the fans. It's not a long time for us, but it's a long time for the fans. It's true. I need this little bit of time off in between pods to just reset so I could fall in love with the art of audio journalism all over again. Same, same. I consider myself to be an audio journalist, so I'm glad we can align on that. That makes two of us, Chief. I was just looking at an email from Patagonia, an email about baggy shorts. and I'm realizing that the women's baggies are maybe better than the men's baggies. You know what? I recently talked about this, actually. There's another pair of Patagonian women's shorts, I believe, that are even shorter. Yeah, those are called the barely baggies. Damn, that's sexy. I need to get those. But just like the men's. Five-inch baggy shorts, which, you know, standard issue that most people who would look like they listen to this podcast would be wearing. And then the women's five-inch baggies, even just the same baggie, like they just look like they have a better cut and color selection. But then the women's barely baggies, that is a two-and-a-half-inch inseam. Yeah, yeah. That's thoughts only. Yeah, my friend Sam Shuby that works at GQ sent an email to Sam Hine and I saying, who's going to do it first? And it was a link to the Barely Baggies. So this is top of mind. Oh, perfect. I think I'm a little too much of a man for that, just size-wise. But I think a thin, beautiful man like Sam Hine could pull them off. I think for us, it would just be... It wouldn't be a good look for you, Rob. We're just simply too jacked and beefy. Is that what you're saying? Exactly. Our quads are so swollen that I don't think the shorts could hold us. We couldn't even get them up onto our waist without the fabric stretching and tearing. But since all this running started happening, I've definitely, and Sam Shuby sent me these too, but it's time for the two-inch Nike short. That's for running, for sure. I thought they already exist, don't they?

No, no, I'm saying for me to buy them. Oh, it's time for you to cop. Yes, the marathon short. It's time. How long are you going to wear them around your house before you actually go public with them? No, I'm not going to wear them to stunt. I'm going to wear them to exercise. It's fine. I didn't mean for stunting. I meant more of when you buy a fish from the pet store and you have to keep it in the little Ziploc bag and then put that in the tank and let it. the temperatures acclimate and all that stuff. Like, I think you might have to do a similar vibe when you are agreeing to wear a two inch inseam. Not me, bitch. I'm ready to go. It ain't nothing for me. It ain't nothing. If I'm exercising, it's all better off. It doesn't even matter. Okay. I like that you're using exercise as an excuse or a means to thought off on these mean Montreal streets. Yeah, luckily there's no one here that could see it, really. So it's not. Now, Soho post-pandem, shit might hit a little different. I might be thinking a little different about my exposure. You know what I mean? Your milky thighs will not fall on deaf ears as you prance around Soho. Exactly. I mean, the dream is to come back from quarantine, shaved head, no glasses, two-inch shorts, shirtless Soho jog. That's the dream. So far, we've got a shaved head. The rest of it, I'm still needing to work on. So you need to get your LASIK man sorted out. I mean, while you're in Canada, take advantage of that health care. Get the LASIK done. And then figure out how you're going to lose those last 10 pounds and we'll get it going. Maybe I should get a part-time job at Tim Hortons to get free health insurance. I think it's a good idea. I've considered getting just a fun job like that just as an experiment or something just to see what it's like. I'm interested at this point. I offered Justin Jound. I was like, bro, I'll come to the warehouse and pack some orders just to feel something. I'm down to do something once a week, but he actually has a staff that he needs to employ.

He's like, I don't need to teach your dumb ass how to do it. You're looking for a menswear stage of sorts. It could be anything. Some people will travel to Noma and work under Rene Redzepi to learn. Yes, exactly. You peel potatoes for three years and then I'll teach you how I make my sauce. But you are like, let me know. how to use the stamps.com scale and teach me how to fold a T. I could sneak some funny notes in for customers whose names I like or recognize. It could be fun. Maybe when Christmas comes around, he'll bless you with a little flow team merch pack, some stickers or something like that. I think Christmas, maybe I'll have to come back because that's seasonal work. You know what I mean? I could start now, learn the process during quarantine, and then come back around for seasonal hiring. Instead of Macy's, I'm going to Jound. I get it. I get it. You will be Jound's gift wrapper. Exactly. Seasonal. I mean, he wasn't opposed. It was just I think there's guys in line in front of me as full-time employees. You know what I mean? You're like, everyone else needs this job to stay alive, and you're willing to work. for not only nothing but you actually agreed to purchase a large order of clothing just to get this position i wouldn't go that far but i would i'll cop a full size run baby just i think full size run i think it's um nice to to occupy oneself you know i mean i'm actually pretty busy but i think it'd be pretty fun for for one day a week to like not use the internet all day yeah go do something just mindless you know like well like i know yeah I agree. I know you had to ship the original order of How Long Gone T-shirts, but over the years, the shipping process, I always dread it, and then I do it, and I actually kind of enjoy doing it because it's just kind of meditative and just something different. Yeah, this is like a person who clearly hasn't done manual labor in a long time, and you're like, ooh, I like the poetry behind it. It makes me come alive, the connection to mind, body, soul, and spirit.

That is one way to put it, and I'm not going to say that's far off from how I feel. I agree. I've always been a big proponent of working with your hands and your body all day long. It just feels differently after the end of the day. When you've completed everything, you have a little soreness, but in a good way. Are you a gigolo? i'm not talking about uh fucking for money i'm talking about like okay okay okay but but that could apply to this scenario but more but more of just like you know after after you come home after a hard day's work of ideating and deck making you're just like well i guess i'm just gonna like look at instagram but other but when you come home from like washing dishes all day or like doing some real shit shoveling snow you're like i i'm gonna have a beer right now and and i really earned it and like i'm gonna pick a sip of water and it's gonna be like oh that's good you know it's nice to be it's nice to deprive yourself and then and then quench that thirst i love quenching my thirst that's one of my favorite things to do um speaking of i did a uh our my first game of tennis today oh because la has made it legal to hit the courts again yeah courts are open now and was it popping It was pretty popping, yeah. I noticed and I found out that there's like a little secluded rich people park in my neighborhood that I recently discovered. And I think that it seems to be a place where all the German people in that neighborhood go to because everyone there was speaking German to each other. It's like some weird... So you've infiltrated a German enclave of Glendale. Yes. I didn't know it existed. It's not just white cool guys from Silver Lake and Armenians anymore, baby. It's Germans. Yeah, my brothers are out here. Who'd you hit with? No, I played with Bae. KK and I were, you know, she's still learning, so. Oh, that sucks. That's always bad. That's always no fun for you.

It's never as much fun playing against somebody who's not as good as you, but we have nothing but time to teach and learn. Tennis is a great sport for unisex activity where the man or woman, whatever you choose to identify as, it's not as much as a huge advantage as if I was playing her against a more physically demanding sport. Yes, yes, a one-on-one rugby game, let's say, or something. Brazilian jiu-jitsu, rugby, you know, maybe like a home run hitting contest, things like that. Well, I mean, we all know you're juicing, so it's probably a good time for you to get back into home run hitting. You're so jealous. You wish you could be juicing like me. I would love to juice. So I think I'm in the next couple weeks heading back stateside. This is big. I know. I'm going to go to New York for a couple of days and then drive to ACL just to see my country reconnect. I like this. Do you think that somebody can pay for it? I mean, I'm obviously going to pitch a story. You know what I mean? Chris Black, known New York media elite, reconnects with his Southern heritage during a time of crisis in his beloved country. Yeah, it's called The Simple Life 2. Yeah, exactly. That's why you should fly out, bro. This could be a podcast road trip. I mean, you were telling me about it, and I was thinking it could be interesting. I mean, I don't know what I – I don't – I want to go to a beach for sure. That's high on my list, probably like a South Carolina beach situation. Okay. But I don't know. The rest, I'm just going to kind of – I mean, I'm going to take it. you know, slow ish, but I'm going to stop and exercise. And I mean, a lot of those States are kind of open now anyway. So I, I talked to a few friends who have done like road trips during this time and they say it's not that intense. It's like actually pretty nice. Yeah. I mean, I don't really see how it would be more. I mean, it's just going to be more chill than a regular road trip. I guess I've, I've done a cross country road trip once it was, it was nice. I was happy about it.

I've never done it. I've never done New York to LA. I've done Atlanta to New York for something you may remember called Hellfest. But that was the last time I've done a drive. I think the road trip hits a little bit differently when you are well paid and in your late 30s versus broke and 19. I was not 19. I think I was in high school, but it was pretty cool from what I remember. I mean, even more so. I mean, it's going to be more fun and exciting when you're in high school, but you are going to also be living a broke boy existence more so. Yeah. Nothing is worse than a broke boy existence. I know. You would have to stay at an Ace Hotel or something. I mean, who can imagine? You'd rather be sleeping in the Impala. 100 also what kind of car are you renting the hellcat or the a4 definitely the hellcat no i mean it's it's interesting because i called my um i called uh well this sounds obnoxious but i called um the american express like travel people to see like what the deal is because they're like experts and basically basically you can't fly from like i have to either go to toronto or ottawa to fly home So instead of Googling, you used your Amex concierge service? Yeah. Well, because I'd been Googling, but I feel like there's shit that I don't understand about this because the rules are so different. It just seems more complicated. You pay for a product. You might as well use it. If they are really pros, then they're also more than happy to give you this info. They basically were like, yeah, you can't. I was going to rent a car and just drive all the way. And they were like, no, you can't do that, really. You have to get to New York and then rent a car there or it's not really possible. So you fly from Montreal to New York, then you rent a car, then you drive down. Yeah. So I'm going to check in, make sure everything's...

it's still in order, you know, maybe see a few people, of course, safely. And then, um, and then just hit the road and run in weird Southern cities and soak up the heat and just, you know, reconnect. I love it. I think it'll be fun. Yeah. I mean, Montreal, Montreal has been pretty amazing for this whole process. Like it's been like, I feel very taken care of and it's pretty mellow, but I just, she's been good to you. yeah exactly but i just you know i don't know it's it's time i feel like i feel like one i feel like we only have a few more i think the hardcore shit's kind of coming to an end anyway so it's probably time to react reacclimate a bit and as a non-canadian you know one an american can only spend so much time in another country you know no matter what country it is before you start getting a little homesick it's true crazy I'm very homesick. It's really true. I need to not hear bad French. You know what I mean? But we should move on. We have a guest today. You guys probably know her. You might follow her on Twitter. Her name is Darcy Wilder. She's a writer who lives in New York. She has a book called Literally Show Me a Healthy Person that is kind of a cult classic. And you may remember the photo of Kendall Jenner reading it on a yacht. A viral, and honestly, a truly incredible viral moment. But Darcy worked at MTV, and Darcy also sent me an amazing screenshot of a post I made on a Ryan Adams message board from 2005. So I really want to get to the bottom of how she found that, but we'll talk about some other stuff. Oh, yes, we will. She hit me with that out of the blue, no context, just a screenshot. It's honestly really funny. But let me give her a call. Oh, God. I'm very happy to hear about this. This episode of How Long Gone is brought to you by Squarespace. Obviously, Jason, you and I spend a lot of time on the World Wide Web, sort of our peers, our listeners, our friends, our colleagues, maybe even your parents if they're freaky. And if you're doing anything in the world...

writing, taking pictures. I do topless boxing. You need a website. Exactly. A website that works, that does what it's supposed to do, that allows you to be creative, but also business-minded. Jason, there's one place to go for that, Squarespace. Yeah, Chris, I'm over here. I'm modifying calculators and putting Claude inside of them so you could cheat at school. And I just want a place where I could have everything all in one place. I can have the SEO tools. So those future graduates can find me and, you know, I'm able to accept quote unquote donations for my services that might be gray area. You know what I mean? And then email campaigns. Hey, I got a new, you know, 2.3 version upgrade. Boom, boom, boom. Get the analytics going. Raise some money. Show your investor all of your cool analytics of what's going on. They're going to want to get in early and we can use Blueprint AI to make your website look as professional as your competition, if not more. So head to squarespace.com slash howlong for a free trial. When you're ready to launch, use offer code howlong to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or a domain. This episode of How Long Gone is brought to you by a new podcast from The Guardian. stateside with kai and carter this is covering a lot of our bases jason it's a it's trying to slow down the news and wrestle with the questions we all have about what's happening in the world and i know you particularly have quite a lot of questions a lot of questions but how often because we do this podcast three times a week and that's a sweet spot how many times do they do three times a week and i i have a feeling just based on the platform and these talking points that they're maybe going to be covering different stuff than we do that's just a guess the guardian is not some billionaire owned They're not afraid to say what they want to say, brother. Yeah, Rupert ain't sniffing around in what journalists Kai Wright and Carter Sherman are up to over there at Stateside. But yeah, listen wherever you get your podcasts. You can watch it on YouTube. It's three times a week. And who couldn't use more news? Especially when it's not from here, let's say. Give it a listen. Give it a listen. Oh, this is huge for me personally. This episode of How I'm Gone.

It was brought to you by TaskRabbit. Oh, baby, let me tell you something. This is not a joke. I use TaskRabbit a lot because I can't do anything. You need some art hung? TaskRabbit. You need something put together? A cabinet? Got to reach that cheese grater on the top shelf? TaskRabbit. Anything you need, TaskRabbit can take care of it for you. How it works, TaskRabbit connects you with skilled taskers in your area. They can help you move. They can assemble furniture, repairs, yard work, mounting, and more. You can search for a tasker based on cost, skill set, availability, and past client reviews so you know exactly who's showing up and can have confidence that they know what they're doing because taskers have assembled over 3.4 million pieces of furniture, completed 700,000 home repairs. handled 1.5 million moves, and the numbers are just going up, Jason. Yeah, throw a little money at the problem. It's not so expensive. And that job that you really don't want to do is something that another person out in the world is very good at doing and would gladly do it in exchange for a little bit of money. So when life happens, your to-do list grows. Get ahead of it now and get $15 off your first task at TaskRabbit.com or grab the TaskRabbit app using promo code How long taskers book up faster, especially for same day tasks. So book trusted home help today. That is $15 off your first task using promo code. How long with the task rabbit app or at task rabbit.com. Are you, are you pounding a fucking red bull? You millennial monster. Oh my God. I didn't really, I was against, not against. I didn't do. Yeah. I've already. Not even five seconds and already video has betrayed me. You can disable your camera really quick and then you can start getting roasted the hell out of for many things. We don't need the camera to roast, just to be clear. I just turned 30 and I'm already like... How do I turn off the... Alright, Boomer. Just because you're old now...

You'll kind of figure it out. There's only so many buttons, but I don't really... Honestly, I don't know. Yeah, all right. There we go. Okay, so you were just drinking a tall boy Red Bull? Is that what that was? No, it's an 8.4 ounce. Well, then you're just tiny then. Yeah, you're just hitting the little regular guy for a little afternoon pick-me-up. It looks so huge in your hand. It's because I'm so delicate, yeah. That's right. I understand. I understand. I didn't do energy drinks until recently. It's kind of like video games. I was like, that's gross stuff. That's gross stuff. Well, interestingly, Darcy, I find that video games and energy drinks are kind of the same. They attract the same types. So you've taken a turn. Yeah, where there's smoke, there's fire with those two things. I really changed. I mean, I only really play Animal Crossing, which is maybe even worse. It is. I realized that everyone that I work with had a Switch a few months ago, and I was like, is everyone secretly playing video games? And then... I don't know. What did those virgins say when they replied? I was about to ask, do you work at virgins.com? Where do you work? Excuse me, Vice. Vice Media Group. It's so crazy that Vice Media Group went from cool coke heads to mouth-breathing video game players. Yeah, well, I think even before... I remember a time when I assumed, I think I was in high school where I was like, oh, isn't Vice all the like ex-heroin addicts? Yes. Sober. Exactly. Sober people. And then it became, in my mind, I don't know how accurate. Yeah, just like raging coke heads. And now it's just like refinery 29. What do you, wait, what do you do there? I actually didn't realize that you work there. Yeah, I don't speak about it very often. I just do social for one of their.

They have an astrology app called Astro Guide that I do socials for. I also do freelance stuff. Calling it Astro Guide that's close to Astro Glide is very cool. Yeah. That's funny. That's a good catch, Chris. Thank you. I'm into brands. I see things a little bit different. That's cool. So you know a different language. Yeah, I look at it more as a marketing. Yeah, exactly. Uh, Darcy, were you already into astrology or did you become more into it after you became a part of the biz? I got less into it. I was like, just like, you know, when, whenever you get a job and you start, I mean, you guys seem very industrious and passionate, but like, um, I think being around it, I learned more and I was like, all right, I get enough of this during the day where I don't need to like read. Also, I don't know. Like, I have enough to worry about without someone telling me what might happen. I do enough. I embody the qualities that I'm supposed to embody based on my star sign from what I understand. People that treat it like religion is really insane to me. It just seems like I don't really get it. I don't know. I think also astrologers don't like that. I feel like they're always telling people to chill out. They're always like, I don't know. It's just what it says. They don't want to be held liable. So you didn't get laid off. That's good. Yeah, I really thought I was. And then I was like, this is very strange. Because also, I don't know if you guys are always expecting to be laid off. I am. Well, we would have to have jobs. We're going to have to unpack that, Darcy. We would have to have jobs. We would have to have jobs to get laid off. Oh, yeah. You're cobblers. Yeah. Exactly. I don't. It works. But have you been in New York this whole time? Yeah. I don't have anywhere else to go. Oh, I forgot. You are from New York. We know that.

that badge that proud badge that you wear well yeah i gotta stop bringing that up so but uh michael had a house upstate for a few years but he sold it so i've been remembering like a fantasy is like oh if he still had that but where i know you i don't know where i i know you're in la but then chris where are you are you in montreal i'm in canada oh oh that's cool I made a run for the border, as they say. You're sweet for saying that's cool. Yeah, thank you for that charity. No, okay. I'm a Canadian. I'm Canada adjacent. I have a group text where I'm the only American. Well, you have no idea how Canadian adjacent I am. I can't get into it on this podcast, but I'm like 12 years in. So I'm basically, the fact that Trudeau himself hasn't knighted me is kind of crazy. Yeah, you know how people have Asian fetish? Same for Chris, but people from the great frosty north. Yeah, wait, there's... I forget what they're called. French, Canadian specifically? Quebecois. No, no, no. This is not... She happens to live here. She is not Quebecois. happens to, very convenient. I don't, it's very convenient. I don't, the Quebecois are not for me. It's an interesting species of person. What is the Quebec of America? Fuck, that's tough. That's a really good question. Austin? No, no, no. Boston, Boston, Boston. Would you say Quebec is sort of like the fashion capital of Canada or is that Toronto? Toronto is the only city that matters and Vancouver is beautiful and then there's Montreal for people who want to live really cheaply. I thought that like... I visited when I was 13, and I thought Montreal was the coolest in the world, but I've never been to Toronto. Well, people don't think Toronto is cool, but it's like a real city. You know what I mean? Montreal is more like a college town. Okay. Actually, maybe you'd be interested in this. Ubisoft is here, a big video game company in essence where Alex works. I cannot believe that Chris knows what Ubisoft is.

I don't know what Ubisoft is. I only know what it is because it's like the second biggest employer in the city of young people. That's why I know what it is. But I thought you might know as a gamer, but I guess you don't. As a gamer, I think Animal Crossing is for children, and I was going to quit, and then I just can't stop. Can you walk us through the allure of it? Because I see it constantly on my social media and I know that people have begun using the app to design or recreate their favorite clothing items in the game. And that's sort of like a thing where you're like, I want to make this Yoji Yamamoto Spring Summer 09. I have remade that. I saw that Darcy made a Michael Romance hoodie. A little less involved, but still cool. That one's more of a direct-to-garment piece, but yeah. I've never been into Michael Romance, just an aside. I don't understand the appeal of it. I am so puzzled why I will check in like every day you do these like tasks that take maybe like 20 minutes and i do it and i don't understand and i've just gone through this thing like i feel like i'm just like powerless where it's just like i just have to do this now like i have to like collect fossils on an island i don't understand and like i've been doing it for over like maybe a month now and it's like i don't get any i don't design clothes i think i've done like my avatar as a flag but like I don't understand the like the satisfaction yeah there's there's no like dopamine there's no like dopamine hit of you like all right I beat this crazy challenging skillful level and I'm proud of myself it's more of just like I picked up fossils at the beach and that's it yeah I think like oh I switched to Super Mario like the one that I I didn't have an N64 growing up but like when I

was in an apartment like when i was visiting someone who did like that one like maybe i don't know it i don't know the times or whatever so i was playing super mario and i was like this is so much better you pass levels, you feel accomplished. And then I went back to animal crossing because I don't know. Animal crossing seems like some candy crush, like dumb, dumb shit to me. But I, again, I don't understand it well enough to make that kind of statement. No, you're right. It's like brain numbing. I think it's just that I'm avoiding doing work. So I'm like, I'll get focused on like arranging trees. Oh, I color coded flowers yesterday. Oh my God. This is so depressing. I didn't know how bad this was. I thought it was just like some bullshit. Okay. Well, how has it improved your, your home cleaning? Are you, are you rearranging and cleaning your, your house and kitchen and things like that? Okay. That's yeah. Yeah. It actually has. And I'll forget if I own something in the game or if I own it in person. Oh, I put up curtains. Yeah. That's pretty good. Like that was a big step for me because I don't have a drill. So I like. screw in the stuff. Anyway, whatever. This is a dumb game. The thing is, it is nice to have a hobby that's absolutely not productive. We talk about this a lot because I don't have hobbies, really. I either find a way to make money off of it or I watch TV. There's no... I don't understand it. Maybe I should get into video games. Who knows? I guess I came all the way around. That's why I think I got the switch where I was like, the internet is now my job. So I need something that's like, but then I don't really like video games that much. So maybe in the, in the core I've been doing, I make a stew every week and I put up curtains. I've been cleaning. I'm getting really depressed. So every week you make a... Good. Do you make a different stew every week or is it the same depressing stew every week? Oh, it's so depressing. I think it's just relatively the same. It's like a tofu thing. You know, I always thought of stew as poor people's food. Am I wrong about that?

Not necessarily, but it definitely can be depending on what's in that stew. But yeah, it can be an expensive fancy dish. Yeah, I think that I was just trying to find easy recipes because I don't cook. Yeah, stew is hard to fuck up. Yeah, you just put stuff in a pot. But I do have my grandma's knife. What are those pots? Or nice... Le Creuset. That's it. I thought you were just saying, I do have my grandma's knife. What color is it, Darcy? It's red, orangey, and then I think there's one that's yellow. Nice. And they're highly used, right? So they look a little beat up? Yes. I mean, they're... decades old. That's very sexy cookware. Yeah, not unlike maybe John Mayer's guitar, a weathered patina on his sunburst Stratocaster. If you turn that Stratocaster over, you know there's some marks hitting the belt over the years. You know what I mean? It tells a story. It tells a big story, yeah. Speaking of John Mayer, there's another guy who does music called Ryan Adams. Do you know that guy? So you've heard of him. Oh, my God. I totally forgot about that. I told Jason on the intro, I was like, I got a text from her out of nowhere, no context, and a screenshot from like 2005. But why did you find that? How did you find that? What are you doing on the internet? Okay. It was so weird because you wouldn't. It was just so strange. I was on Internet Archive, you know, because whatever. And, you know, I'm a little too young for Makeout Club. I was on, like, a message board, and people would reference me. We were not too young for it. We were not. I'm obviously not. I'm caught red-handed. I mean, I'm the spry age of 30 and 17 days. Yeah, you're just a whisper over 30. Yeah, but, well, my boyfriend was on it, and so he will mention it sometimes.

Damn, he violated the first rule of Makeout Club. You're not supposed to talk about it with your fucking chick, bro. Yeah, I mean, I tweeted about it, and he was like, you're showing your age. And I was like, actually, I'm showing your age. Well, I tried to. I've wanted to write a story about Makeout Club for a long time because I think it's really interesting. And I think Gibby, the guy who started it, is still around. But somebody did something sort of, but it wasn't that good because I don't think they actually used it. You know what I mean? Yeah, I think that Daily Dot did it, and it seemed like for... I was researching it because I'm... Basically, the research of Internet Archive is a part of a project I'm working on, but I wasn't on Makeout Club, so it's not... You should do whatever you want to do, is what I'm saying. The door's still open. I was digging into the archives, and I was like, there were... I didn't really understand. I thought it was a message board system primarily, but I guess it wasn't. It was just an address book and you message people that you like or whatever. Anyway, so I was like, no way. I was like, I wonder if I'll see someone that I know I'm here. Message people that you like. It's where you go to fuck emo chicks. All right. Yeah. Come on. Let's keep it 1000. Alvin Johnson on the first page. Yeah. It's very, it's very K records. A hundred percent. Oh my God. Well, so I thought that I would not find anyone because it's like, and because it's internet archive, there's so many broken links. Yeah. The first page I found my best friend's girlfriend. and i only recognized her because she used the same username and then uh i was yeah i was on the message board looking and i was like it doesn't seem very used and then there was uh very rare for the time it seems chris black with the username like chris black or something so advanced i mean the fact that i was able to secure that name proves that i was probably too early for my own good you know and an early adopter to being like not hiding behind a username

You know, this might have been, you know, it might have been pre done to death incorporated. You know, this is probably before I had made the term. Because this was pre any dating app and pre MySpace, all of that stuff. And it was sort of a combination of the two. It was like you would have a social media profile, a rudimentary one. And the whole purpose of it was sort of just to show off hot pics of yourself and then get other people who look like you to have sex with. Yeah. Did you only have one picture at a time? No, I think you could have multiple. You may have been able to have multiple. It's been so long. Yeah. It's hard for me to imagine what, I mean, I remember you could list all the stuff you were into, which is obviously in that sub genre of people, very important to flex about like. obscure orchid seven inches and liking Morrissey, you know, more than the next person. I'm into these fixed gear bicycles where there's actually no brakes on them. Me and my friends, we get together and we alter our bicycles. Yeah. Something I still like to do, I guess, showing my age. I mean, that was also probably my peak Ryan Adams years, you know, because it was like, he was really, that was like, I mean, Heartbreaker was still fresh, really. You know what I mean? Heartbreaker's only a handful of years old at that point, so he was really in his pride. So that was your kid A? That is my kid A, yeah. Got it. Oh. I think, yeah, I listened to that album recently. I don't think I bought one of his albums because some magazine said it was cool, but it was the one after that, I think, and it wasn't that good. Well, it was probably the one that had the New York, New York song. And then in the video, he's standing in front of the Twin Towers. And it's supposed to come out on September 11th. Oh, my God. No, I think whatever came out in 2003 or something. Because I think the New York, that one. That's 2001. So 2003 was, I don't know. I mean, he's put out a lot of music. But the reality is Heartbreaker is the all time. He's never going to top that. I believe, yeah.

That's his Chris Brown poppin, as it were. I mean, I can't... We're not allowed to like Ryan Adams anymore because he's canceled. But his impact on my life at that era is very big. Yeah, wait, what's that song that's slow? It's not New York, New York. It's maybe the single, it's slow. Is it the come fuck me up, steal my record? Yeah, that's it. Yes, that's the one that has lived on from that album. So he is your, I was saying earlier that Ryan Adams is your Chris Brown, but maybe he's your Louis C.K. Oh. Probably more my Louis C.K. I mean, it's also, I know for a fact that it's actually worse than was even reported. So it's extra difficult for me. It often is. Because you're an insider. I am an insider, and my sources tell me it's even worse, but there are people who wouldn't go on the record because they're famous. So it's unfortunate. But I do think that he will – I think he's pretty stubborn and will probably – I mean he's online posting and shit all the time. Really? Yeah. He posts like a cover song every day. And the thing is is that guys like him – could just go to Europe where no one cares. He could put out music and go tour Europe and no one would care. I think that's the reality of a lot of these. I think if you have diehard fans, you can kind of do whatever you want. Yeah. Also, I don't know how money works, but he's probably if he just had a quiet life. No, he's rich as fuck. Yeah, exactly. I mean, when him and Mandy Moore got divorced, it came out that he was making like 400K a month or something. Whoa. If he was touring and the licenses are hitting, it's pretty good. Because he would sell out. I mean, his touring was crazy. Everything was sold out worldwide, globally, like once a year. Whoa. That is nice. I know. That's a nice gig to have, I suppose. It's a good gig to have unless you're a monster and then you also... Oh, yeah. The problem is his ego is too big and he likes famous chicks too much.

Once you start fucking with that, Hollywood will chew you up and spit you out. It's like Chris Black without the guitar playing talent. Exactly. He is very talented, but unfortunately he's a monster. Before that stuff came out, I think I came across a tweet of his that was just really gross. He was judging Mandy Moore. after they've been divorced, for not liking the Melvins or something. Oh, I remember that. It would never work. She didn't like the Melvins. To be fair, the Melvins aren't good. Melvins are fine, but when I'm looking for qualities in a lady, Melvin liking is very low on the list. Maybe it's just for my bros that I want to hang out with. Yeah. Melvin Liking does not come into play when I'm trying to, you know, have sex with a person. Is he like the makeup? Is he like an embodiment of Makeout Club? Oh, no, no, no, no. Well, I know it's very different like scenes, but he has like the greasy hair swoopy to the side. I think the look. I think the look, but I think the thing that defined Makeout Club more than anything, Jason, correct me if I'm wrong, is basically like. hardcore dudes that like Morrissey too much is what I is what synthesizes it to me. That's true. And Ryan Adams current day looks like if somebody was on makeout club and then like went into a coma for 20 years and just woke up and they're like, yeah, he's still wearing like a plaid cowboy shirt. Still has a white, white belt on. Yeah. He, I mean, we don't smoke parliaments anymore. What is this American spirit? Oh my God. I mean, Makeup Club, though, truly is a genre-defying... It's more important than it gets credit for. Because I feel like it just kind of got forgotten in a lot of ways. Because Friendster came... Like, all this stuff came along so much faster after it. Well, yeah. Oh, but I just meant, like, Ryan Adams' obsession with judging other people's tastes. Well, I think that's my obsession, and also, Jason... I mean, that's most of our obsessions, I think.

yeah that's true that's fair i mean what what do we do besides judge other people's tastes i mean that's what the world revolves but that that type of talk is is is language i've heard before from lots of different types of dudes and it's usually a common thread is they have some type of like sociopathic behavior going on or they're just like fucked up people in general you know yeah i mean i don't expect Yeah, I mean, I don't expect anybody to like what I like, and it can't be. It's not bad if they don't. That doesn't really make sense. I almost prefer it. Yeah, I mean, if a woman likes the verb, I'm a little bit like, what happened to you? Like, why would you, like, do you really like this? Yeah, this is some, like, real bro shit here. You know what I mean? You assume she's going to be ugly if she be liking the verve as much as you do. Well, Jason, it stuck with me forever when you told me, Chris, no hot chicks are ever going to like the music that you like. That is 100%. Oh, my God. Well, and if you do find one, that's a true keeper. You don't let that one go. Chris, like, what's on your playlist? Like, what is the music? No, it's just... It's a good question. He was specific. We were talking about a specific incident that happened where the Verve got turned off unceremoniously. And it was like a, what is this shit kind of situation? And I'm like, what do you mean, what is this shit? But there was an age difference there that probably played into that. You know what I mean? I'm thinking, I don't think I really know the Verve. Is it different? The Verve pipe I might be thinking of was like a 90s song. I don't know. Same era, different era. I don't know. Thanks for joining us, Darcy. No, I mean, it's just, it's the same. I think it's the equivalent of like a, like a cross punk guy being like, this fucking chick doesn't even like Gigi Allen. Like, I don't think I, I don't think it's going to work out. She doesn't understand throbbing gristle. The verve was like a, it's, it's a, they were huge. Yeah. Yeah. They were huge in, in like all over Europe and, and had, but they had a hit song.

They had Bittersweet Symphony, which is a smash. That's it. Oh, wait, that's what I was... Okay, I thought I was confusing them. Well, Verve Pipe also had a smash in the 90s as well. Not as big. Okay, I thought the Verve Pipe did Bittersweet Symphony in my head, just on my record. And also a shame that the Verve Pipe and the Verve was around before we started referring to penises as the pipe, because Richard Ashcroft could have made some really great jokes. Because Richard Ashcroft is 100% a stick man. He's a piper. He's a piper. He's a pipe lair, no question. Richard Ashcroft, he still looks good. He's fucking 60 years old. Do you know how much coke he probably did? Mamma mia. A lot. Oh, this reminds me of just the... Sorry, it popped in my mind. I was listening to one of you guys' old episode. Well, not old, but two weeks ago. From the archives. Yeah, I was dipping in the archives and... I think the joke was that, Chris, the only thing, like, if you were to help your parents, it would be like, here's a Chrome Hearts ventilator. And, like, I can't stop thinking about it. Damn, this podcast is good, isn't it? That sounds very funny. That's funny as fuck. It's so good, but I just can't. If you ever get, like, some joke or phrase stuck in your head, I can't stop thinking about a Chrome Hearts ventilator. Same now. It's something that we need to... I mean, Chrome Hearts is on the front lines, as we know. It's very possible that they have one. A question for both of you guys. You guys are both keeping up with what's going on with celebs and fashion. If there was to be a Chrome Hearts ventilator in the world, who would be the first person to own one? Is it a Scott Disick fresh out of rehab with the Chromie Ventilator? Who's it going to be? Disick could have it, but I think more of like a... Taiga? Yeah, it would be a rapper. Think about a group of people who would want to flex while dying. Oh, I got it. I got it. BTS. Yeah, BTS. BTS will come out with the eight pack.

chrome ventilator that would be cool a bts days to live a group shot of bts all hooked up on on ventilators like five different ventilate yeah but they'd be wearing they would all have looks on they'd be wearing like you know because that's the best part about boy bands is they wear the same designer like complimentary looks you know oh yeah i love that coordinate yeah coordinated looks yeah complimentary I think they, because their skin is so good, they must wear makeup, and they'd have their makeup all done up. They wear a lot of makeup. They wear a lot of makeup. They would definitely die wearing makeup, for sure. And even though they're all going to die, we all know that they're fighters, and they did try their best. They did. And their fans are going to be heartbroken. It would be crushing. That would be the only, like, they're all those. Open America protests, the BTS fandom would be the only protest to get something done. You're right. Have you been to an Open America protest yet? I know you kind of lean that way. Oh, yeah. Me and my boyfriend, Ben Shapiro. How is Ben, by the way? Short. Wait, you know what? When we were communicating about booking this podcast, you hit me with a proton mail, which I had never heard of that. Jason, have you heard of that? I don't think I have now. You haven't? It sounds very familiar, but I don't know what it is. Is that for when you can't afford hotmail? It's basically Yahoo. Okay. AOL.com. What is it? Joy spring was joy spring one. I think mine spring, mine spring, mine spring. Uh, proton mail is encrypted email, Jason, for people who are paranoid. Oh, so you work advice. Got it. Well, so you can get the proton mail for free or you can pay a small yearly fee to get PM.me.

which is so unfortunately someone took dw at pm.me so i had to settle something else but yeah i had this outlandish fantasy that i would get off gmail but then if you have ever tried to change your email like 10 or 15 years into having the same one oh god like it's just futile so i just have two I don't know. Can I ask you why you wanted to remove Gmail from your life? Well, I got... Just to be punk? What? Just to be punk or is there... Yeah, Gmail's for poses. Yeah, I think it was just like the security feature. I was like, if it's possible to be a little better, then maybe I should. Are you exchanging? I mean, are you dealing with things that are that private in nature via email? No, not at all. I'm just buying shit from the gap. But still. Yeah. That's what people like that you signal and show like, what are you fucking talking about? Like, unless you're talking about fucking government secrets or selling drugs, but like for real, like large quantities. Why on earth? I think people are just that tinfoil hat wearing these days. Yeah. I mean, like the security, like it is creepy how much information they have, but I want them to, I want them to have it so they can market to me better. Yeah. Chris is, Chris is, he is, he is spreading his ass and saying, please take my data. Yeah. Come on in. The water's fine. I truly don't care. I love when I see an ad on Instagram about something I talked about three seconds before. I'm sure there's some negative thing that will come of that eventually, but for right now, it's just showing me products to relax my muscles because it hears me talking about sport. Oh, yeah. Is it a Theragun? Yeah, that's good. I don't have one, and it's a real issue for me that I don't have a Hyperice or a Theragun.

Jason does. Jason has a Theragun. Yeah, I blast that shit all over my body all the time. Is it nice? It's very nice. Yeah, I love it. It's my girlfriend's. It's not mine. I don't know if it's something that I would ever buy per se, but happy to have it at my disposal. It's one of those things that I feel like I should get for free, so I'm held off buying it. Have you received anything for free as a Fitfluencer yet, Chris? Yeah, I have. Some clothing. Not any gear. I was just recently hit up to be seated by a jump roping subscription. Really? It's a whole program. Double Dutch? Are you doing Double Dutch? Jason's famous claim to fame, Darcy, is that he jump rubs for a full hour for fitness. I don't even know if this is a joke. No, this is not a joke. Jump rubbing is actually very hard, right? It is very hard. Yeah, it is hard. I think I got a hula hoop because of the strategist. Wow, you're a sucker. I work for the strategist and you're a sucker. I know. It's so dumb. Oh, God. I don't buy very many things anymore, but I got the hula hoop. I have a package room in my building, and they immediately were like, hey, Darcy, I think you got a hula hoop. It was just immediately embarrassing. They're like, oh, how could you tell? Yeah, I guess I would like to see a hula hoop. Did you go outside and use it in the middle of the street? No, it's an inside. It's an inside hoop. Are you going for walks and shit? Yeah, I'm going for walks. Sorry, once you told me you had a proton mail, I thought you might be a real freak who hasn't locked the house in 60 days. If I have my little... I don't know what I would... The people that have little... I don't know. I guess they're making guitar pedals or computer chips. Soldering. Soldering iron. Yeah, that's it. I don't have that.

I think it's also, my boyfriend has it, so it's like, oh, if he's doing it, whatever. Does he trade government secrets via email, or is he just a freak? Oh, I can't divulge his government's debt. No, he doesn't put his face online. Oh, that's actually fire. The people that are able to do that, it's a different way of operating in the world. Does that mean that he doesn't need to make money in any way from, the internet yes see that's the problem my income is tied up in the world wide web same and like i don't know how to like i would like to log off more often don't know about you guys but i just like can't like i will be like i'll like log out of twitter be like all right i gotta cut it off and then open it on my phone like just reflexively full reflexive I don't want to log off really, even though I should. But I mean, I got my screen time this week. It was 10 hours a day. So fuck with me. Oh, I got it today. It was four hours. That's good. I mean, that makes sense. That's why I have to carry this podcast on my shoulders. No, it's because I use my computer more than my phone because I'm not really, you know, if I'm just at home, like chilling on the couch, I'm not going to be scrolling on my phone that much. See, I use the computer all day, but also scroll my phone every second when I'm not at the computer. It's two screens at once. Yeah. Titty, two screens. I got one of those lock boxes that you're supposed to free yourself. Oh, really? Like you put your phone in there and you could set a timer? I did it once and got itchy. And I put, oh, it did work. I put my credit card in there for a week. That was good. So wait, explain this to me. There's a box and it locks itself, so you can't get whatever, you can't use whatever is in it. Yes, correct. Right, and then they also have those apps where you can be like, you can only use Twitter one hour a day or whatever it is. Yeah, I'll just like override all of those stuff. Yeah, for sure. I'll be like, oh, who cares? With the lockbox, there's no override, so you'd have to break it.

I'd be willing to do that for sure to get a tweet off. Whenever I'm reading, I have to put my phone out of reach or in another room or something like that because I'll get a text and then boom, it knocks me out. Yeah, I'll go to look up something. I'm always getting texts. Always getting texts. Well, you're very popular, Jason. We know. Darcy, have you been watching Soviet documentaries lately? I saw on the internet. Jason, how did you know? Twitter. All right, guys. Well, I got to go. Yeah, just truly a level of nerd shit, proton male. Yeah, you have evolved since last we've spoken. oh man i was thinking about that this morning that was it's weird that was a different time what when were you on tall tales i was yeah that was like right when your book came out i remember when you were doing when you're doing a press tour and how when when did that book come out it's been a while now right well i think we yeah that was it came out 20 i think it was right before because i was in l yeah i was in la and then i remember Yeah, because I remember I was still drinking at that time, and then I stopped shortly after that and got extremely nerdy. And now I'm in my every three weeks some phase. Now it's Soviet documentaries. So you're still sober? Yeah. Congrats. Just chilling up. You couldn't tell by the Red Bull? The Red Bull. The hula hoop. Are you blasting? Do you blast cigs? Oh, I don't. No, my vices are. energy drinks coffee uh i did candy for a while but then i stopped because like no yeah yeah that's good so so you're drug free as well as alcohol free yeah i take my my my my little ssris though that's the real shit yeah why

Why bother anything? Let's talk about the book. I love to talk about if the book moved the needle or not. Did your book move the needle? I don't know what the needle would be like without it. The book is the needle. What moved the needle more? The book being released or Kendall Jenner reading the book? That was weird. I forgot about that. How did you forget about that? There was a boost in sales when she read it. I think what it, but I think that, cause at first, like the day it went on pre-sale, Spencer Pratt tweeted it. So that was, yeah, with his crystals. Cause I sent it, I asked him if I could send it to him and he's nice and said, yes. So he posted with like crystals. It was very sweet. Yeah. That was right when Spencer really started engaging with like literary Twitter and things like that. Yeah. I remember, uh, I think, I think he was hanging out with, like, Jack Wagner and Brandon Wardell, and they were going to, like, the Taco Bell test kitchen. Oh, God. Oh, God. I think, like, Brandon overslapped and then, like, woke up to Spencer Pratt calling him, like, where are you? Could you imagine? Yeah, I don't know what he's up to lately. It doesn't matter. They have a kid. Oh, yeah, they did have a kid. I do remember that. Very important. Yeah. Oh, but so, I don't know, the book's like fine. It's something, um, now that I'm the ripe age of 30 and haven't drank in a few years, I'm like, who, like, what is this? Like, it's weird that people have like access to it and read it when it's just like so far removed from, I don't know. It's another, it's another time. Yeah, but I mean, it was like pre-Trump too. Weird. But you don't look at it negatively. You're just like, this is a different time. I mean, I'm cringy about it a bit because I'm like, did I really need to... I don't know. If you think of yourself at 24, that's an embarrassment for me. I agree. That time should not be on the record for me. Somebody believed in you enough to make it happen, so it probably needs to be in the world.

That's true. Now that you've grown after writing something that makes you a little cringy sometimes, are you trying to create things that are more evergreen and timeless and something you're proud to hang your hat on more? Well, Jason, yes. Also, as cringy as it is, I do get messages from teenagers and stuff or early 20s. uh who like it and then i'm fine with it like like it's i'm cool with it as long as like it's like doing bringing some good stuff into the world but yeah i'm like trying to i'm working on like longer projects that are less tied to like it like i was very online i'm still very online but i'm just like not that into it anymore so do you want to write another book or do you want to just just like tv like what is the plan Oh, yeah. I have other book projects that I've been working on. I have three, and I kind of cycle between them, and I will quit working on one of them when it's close to be done, so I'll never finish them. I like that. Smart. So you're a writer. Yeah. Yeah, I think I've transitioned, hopefully, into that. I had a weekly column on the outline when it was still alive, which was nice. Can we talk about the outline for a second? Sure. Because I feel like there were two sides of the world. People hated it or loved it. Am I wrong in thinking that? Or is that the perception? I think you might be right, but I don't know anyone that viscerally hated the outline. I feel like you might be talking to one of them. No, no, no. I didn't hate it at all. I just saw two very distinct camps. I think... I mean, it was just so much, I think someone once referred to it as a socialist tech blog, which is like pretty accurate. That's cool. And so I could definitely see it being, like there were some, I remember there was like one article from before I was writing for them about how, you know, what are those like movie theaters that serve dinner? It was like against that. And someone was like annoyed on Twitter and it was like,

there were like five of these in the whole country. And so I think that there is like that aspect of like, you know, especially like media Twitter or things, you know, that's like most of the world has androids and like most of the world, like it's still like, I don't know, our little bubble for sure. Oh, absolutely. We love our little bubble though. Yeah. How many green texts do you guys have in your phone? How many people do you regularly talk to? Literally none. I have a few, but... Not even my parents. You made them upgrade to you. I would never. I mean, we did have a guest that had an Android, and as suspected, he got it for free. Oh, interesting. So Chris, your family group chat is all blue. We don't have a family group chat. Okay. No. Oh, wait. My brother-in-law does have an Android, but we don't text. Okay. There's nothing wrong with the family group chat, Chris. No, no, I agree. I just don't, we don't have one. I don't, I'm not, I'm not. I don't know if my, my parents don't like me that much. Like they don't need to talk to me that often. They could take, take it or leave it with, with their son, Chris Black. Like most people, like most people, they can take it or leave it. That's kind of the whole thing. Got it. I think my family group chat was green when my uncle still had a Blackberry, I believe. Well, that's cool. I thought you guys might like that. Your uncle is in the group chat? Family group chat is immediate family only. Oh, yeah. No. It's me, my brother, my dad, and my uncle. That's like... Is it your dad's brother? Yeah. So it's like... Is he hella cool? Yeah. Yes. Okay. I'll allow it. Does he still have the Blackberry? Uh, he, I think he had to like upgrade, like the forcibly upgrade thing, but I think he might have gotten, uh, like a vintage one, but I haven't seen him, you know, since quarantine. What does this guy do? What does this guy do for a living? He is, uh, uh, uh, he's a literary agent. Oh, sick. Okay. So, but he didn't, I didn't like,

Which is weird because he didn't know that I was publishing a book and he wasn't involved. We're not suspecting insider trading. Don't worry. On this podcast, we respect and appreciate nepotism. The other podcasts don't. This is a privilege positive podcast. Yeah, we're happy. I just want to see people succeed. All the Kazzy Davids. I love her. she's i think she's really cool no but i i was like strictly like i'm not gonna also i don't think he would have really he'd be like no maybe you just ain't ready yet this ain't ready for you yeah yeah like he he wasn't i was gonna like keep it a secret from him but he ordered one and read it that was not great for me oh yeah did he give you like full feedback uh no he revealed to me that he read it and then and I mean, I didn't look him in the eye for the rest of the day. But you sort of knew it was going to happen, right? I mean, whatever I put out into the world, a podcast or if I write a little dumb thing or whatever, my mom knows about it. She's all over it. So you kind of have to know if you write a damn book that's published. Yeah. Your family is going to be interested. Especially if he's in the biz. Yeah. And like, I think his friend read it and liked it and reached out to him and he was like, it's all fiction. Just keep telling yourself that. Is narrative. Oh, but my dad's really logged off, thankfully. And my brother and I are like friends. So like, that's pretty easy. Okay. It sounds like a good family group text. Yeah, it's pretty chill. So who sends racist memes? There's always one. I don't think we have that. Oh, that's because you guys are woke New Yorkers. I forget. It's different. Who is sending the racist memes? Well, Chris doesn't have a family group chat. Jason's from Orange County, so it could be anybody in his. It's me.

Surprise. It's obviously me. No, I'm kidding. But I do think that's part of the reason that some people's family group chat. I feel like the election of Donald Trump has disintegrated many family group chats. Because there's always someone who is sending Facebook conspiracy theories to the chat. Do you guys have COVID truthers in your families? No. Surprisingly, no. I don't know of it. Not in my immediate family. Just me. Just Jason. Strike two. Jason, you're one alt-right friend. Yeah, I mean, my family is from Orange County, but for some reason, I'm still the most alt-right person in the family. So weird. I don't know how the cards shook out that way, but here we are. Yeah, but now where I live in LA, it's just as bad as Orange County for all of that stuff, I would say. Wait, what neighborhood are you in? Glendale. Oh, I would not. I remember. It's like five, ten minutes away from my old house. Okay. I mean, I remember driving. Is that where the Americana is? Yes, it is. Okay. I love when you talk about local landmarks. Good eye. That's our Times Square in New York. You know that place? Never heard of it. 9021 Pho. There is a Pho restaurant called 9021 Pho, yes. Yes, I remember it. It is in the Glendale Galleria Mall. Yes. And all those people lost their jobs. Are you fucking happy now? Wow, wow. Another New York media elite shitting on the working man. Damn, we get it. You guys have bagels. Jesus. Well, Darcy, are any of these books going to come out, you think? Or is this just like... Oh, hopefully. Animal Crossing has been a horrible distraction. It's cutting into your publishing career, all this Animal Crossing. Yeah, it's really...

Animal Crossing, it's meant to keep the working woman down. I hope so. I don't know if you guys have been productive or not. I was super not productive, and now I'm really getting stuff done. I've been pretty productive, honestly. I haven't felt much of a change. I have become much more productive in everything that doesn't make money. Fitness, tanning, cooking, Instagram stories, that's all thriving. Nice. I'm acquaintances with a nurse. I think it was the biggest hospital. I think she is at the biggest hospital in Brooklyn. Her Instagram stories. I feel it's, she's like, you know, doing the actual stuff. And my day is like, I go out to walk my geriatric chihuahua. I like microwave up a stew. And she's like, and she's like, this is the parking lot where we're setting up, you know, an ICU. And it's like, oh my God. And she's like, and here's how much bleach we have to use to clean up all the blood off the ground. Yeah, her selfies are like... And you're like, ow, the stew's too hot. The stew's too hot. Yeah. I'm like, I'm so disappointed. I didn't get any work done today. And she's, you know, holding people's hands. Yeah, FedEx said it was going to be here on Friday, but now it's freaking Monday. You need to get on the phone with them. It's unacceptable. I mean, we're all fighting our battles and we're all integral parts in the cogs in the wheel of our new world order. And you are necessary. You are essential, Darcy. You are essential. We're all essential workers. Stop the shutdown. Walking a chihuahua one block. Are you going to tell me that that's not necessary? Yeah, I mean, I'm not in a position to say that. I support you. It's also just because she refuses to walk further than 9th Avenue. She's an old girl. That's fine. Yeah, she's old. Are you exercising yourself? I do long walks. I've gone through phases of running. I used to be a runner, and then I was a part of one of the HIIT clubs.

The hit community? I understand the kids are doing a hit. I have some boomer qualities, but I also very much identify as a 70-year-old man. What is it? Oh, hello? Those people? Anyway, I did the hit workout from some club a few years ago, and then I quit. Because I wasn't losing weight and that's all I cared about. That's the theme of this podcast. Losing weight is the theme of this podcast. It's a pro-Anna. We are known as a pro-Anna podcast in certain circles. I want to know if you are only eating these microwave peasant stews, how is the weight loss going? Or are we having a cheeky snack in between stew meals? oh i'm pretty i think i believe to be maintaining okay i that's all we can ask for oh when i lost when i stopped drinking i lost like 20 pounds and so i've been just trying to keep that not getting it it's the easiest stopping partying is the easiest way to lose weight it really is oh it's so great except some people like do candy stuff but like yeah that is not great So you don't have any guilty pleasure snack attacks? Plantain chips? I know you guys have bodegas over there. They have stuff there. I did have plantain chips, salted lime yesterday. That was good. I got an air popper. If I want to eat but I'm not hungry, I'll make air popped popcorn. Terrible on its own. But if you melt coconut oil in the little tray of it. Wow. Listen to Health Bay. And then I get, well, this is the not healthy thing. I ordered a strange powder on the internet that's like salt and vinegar flavor. And I sprinkle it on there. I don't know what's in it. So you do a tropical coconut salt and vinegar popcorn. Yeah, it's a tropical.

acidic reduction atop a top well i mean you've you've you've heard of we've seen the cookbook salt fat acid heat you are you're hitting all of those you're creating a symphony of flavors is what you're doing but it's a song that not many want to hear yeah i think that the community is reaching out but there's some sort of suppression The media suppression of the... I mean, I think if you're buying salt and vinegar powder on Amazon, that's pretty advanced. I'm impressed by that. I'm impressed by that as a call for help. I don't know how... Most people will stop at the Trader Joe's Everything Bagel Seasoning, but you have pushed it to an industrial level. I need to get it from the source. I have a thirst that only... It's the only... I have to buy it every six months. Hopefully Santa Claus is listening. It's the only thing I'll buy on Amazon because there's really no... Are you an Amazon? Are you like a smash the state Amazon type? I do not want to order things on Amazon. So you're not a Prime member? I am not a Prime member. I think... I think, oh, yeah, in college, I had a .edu email address so I could be Prime. EDU gets free Prime? I didn't know that. This ain't Facebook. You can get Prime by paying $100. Yeah. Oh, I use my uncle's account for watching stuff. But I don't, like, need... Well, it sounds like you do need Amazon and you're stealing from them is what it sounds like to me. And I'm sick of big business getting taken down by people like you. Yeah, I'm really – I'm hitting – it's the death by a thousand overcuts. Exactly. This is why Bezos is only a billionaire. Yeah, if we want Bezos, our leader, to be a trillionaire, we need you to chip in, Darcy. This is a group effort. If he wins, it's like all of us winning. Exactly. This billionaire shit ain't enough. I need to see my man thriving.

Fucking Bezos. What's going on with his wife? Well, his ex-wife. Bezos Hive. This podcast is pro-Bezos. Yeah, the pro-Amazon. This is an Amstan podcast. Amstan? Is this a media? I'm familiar with the podcast, but what would it be classified as? Is it like... It's been called... Socialites? Important hipsters. But it's also been called Bicoastal Elite Podcast. I'm honored to be in that category. Do you have any guest suggestions for us? Do you want to put us in touch with anybody that you think would be great for the show after talking to us? Who have you spoken with that you haven't released yet? We've had everybody except for Carolyn Calloway on this podcast. And I'm working on it. Are you going to do Cece? You should have Alexis Wilson on because she's like the Cece historian. I don't want the real thing. I want Cece. I don't want the story. I mean, I can get Cece, I think. We're in touch. Okay. I think her star has risen too swiftly and she might be unattainable now. Yeah, we're trying to get, like, Jerry Saltz, Hadid brother, and, like, Simi Hayes, Zach Bia. Yeah. Logan Paul, 6'9". We've gone too highbrow. Basically, you can tell that I've been legally charged because it's gone too highbrow. So now Jason's going to swoop in and bring us back down to a median level. It'll be, like, a guy you found on the corner. Well, 6'9", is that. in some way. I'm going to get a guy who just works at the Supreme Store and be like, damn, what's it like? You should get the guy that just wrote the tell-all memoir about Anna Wintour. Andre Leon Talley, the famous Vogue editor? Yeah, let me work on that. I thought he died. I forgot. Well, now he's never going to come on the show.

I don't want to say anybody's out of reach, but if people have something to promote, this is a podcast to come up. We have a rapt listenership of young, influential, and spending money types. We have a prime demographic. Have you done Jonah Hill yet? No, we let that other podcast do that. We don't really fuck with... Jonah Hill's not a prop for me. Jonah Hill's a serious actor and a director that I respect. I don't want to talk to Jonah Hill about his sneakers. That doesn't interest me. You know what I mean? I want to talk to him about his NTS mix. Yeah, exactly. And how he learned about all this jazz. When I went on, I forgot it was a Barstool podcast. Oh, baby. As I was going up the elevator, I realized it was so... Like I've never seen a space be an office and so messy, but also smell like, uh, like Buffalo wings. That's exactly. We've talked about this, that office, that disgusting shithole on the podcast before. The bathroom had like gross, like baby wipes marketed to men. Yes. Bro wipes. And the fact, the fact that a woman had like, for me, it's like, I recognize this is shitty men behavior. You should never have to see something like that. Women should not be forced to see that. But I think that maybe they hated each other, and so that was fine. I forgot you did the other podcast. Yeah, I'm sorry if that... We don't really do locker room style podcasts. No, this is a highbrow show. We talk about stuff that's important. Yeah, highbrow. What else is... I'm trying to think of... It's okay. I've been to the Chateau Marmont. Very cool, Darcy. It's pretty nice. Very cool, Darcy. I just read that Keanu... Isn't Keanu Reeves' mom staying at the Chateau right now during quarantine? Yeah, there's an airmail story about Andre Balaz. I guess Courtney Love is at the Chiltern in London.

Mark Jacobs is at the Mercer because he's renovating. And Keanu Reeves' mom is at Chateau. Because he laid off the whole staff, but there's like a tiny, you know, a skeleton crew to service these few VIPs. Oh my gosh. So Keanu Reeves is so rich and famous. His mom is on the same level as Courtney Love, one of, I would say, our most important musicians. I do love her music. I saw her in the last year and it was so bad. I didn't even care. I loved it. Like for you on the street? No, she played. She played the Yola Mezcal all-female lineup festival in downtown Los Angeles that I went to alone. I forgot you went to that. That's so funny. I went to alone to see Cat Power and Courtney Love because none of my friends would go with me. Yeah, I mean... I couldn't be seen in that activation. I'm just flashing back to what Jason said about... Hot Girls not liking any of your music. Hola's great. I think someone sent me a Cat Power song once that I liked. I'm surprised you're not a Cat Power head. You like Cat Power, Jason. Yeah, I love Cat Power. I mean, Cat Power's legendary. There's at least two or three albums that are kind of like legendary status, I would say. Oh, another nerd-ass shit thing that I've been doing is... I started buying music instead of streaming it. What the fuck? Why? Like on cassette or vinyl? Oh, this is going to get so much worse. Well, I buy it on Bandcamp. MP3, download it. Because to my MP3 collection, which I've been building. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. How old are you? Are you 100? Yeah, see, I am a member of the silent generation. But then I got to my... Dad was cleaning out his apartment and he gave, and so I got my grandpa's old stereo stuff. So I made a physical cassette mixtape recently. It's, it's not cool, but. Well, I think it is. I've read like little resurgences like that of, of analog things that people like.

I'm sick of scrolling through Netflix. I just want to like go to a blockbuster and pick out a movie and watch it or, you know, you know, choose from like, these are the 50 albums I have and I'm just going to listen to one of them instead of having everything at your fingertips. It can be a little daunting, I guess. Yeah. I feel like, I don't know about Jason. Chris, I feel like you're someone who loves having everything at your fingertips. He does. And I, I, I mean, I, I need like five. things tops i do but i also listen to i mean basically what i do is i download uh you know music from apple music onto my phone and listen to what i have on my phone so in some ways i am limiting it you know what i mean yeah okay like a contained chaos Yes, Contained Chaos. But the problem is I'll just listen to those five records or ten records or whatever, and then I'll have to like, oh, yeah, I need to go add, you know. For example, we have a new Killers album coming out soon, you know, so I'm going to rinse that and the rest of this. What? I'm sorry. What is with people respecting the Killers? Darcy, you know. That's a good question, Darcy. You just weren't there, I guess, but Sam's Town is one of the greatest records of our time. She was there, Chris. I would encourage you, Darcy. And she was arguably of the age that would be more susceptible to the music of the killers. I think, oh, I was super pretentious in high school. Wouldn't you listen to Bright Eyes? Definitely. Friday's was too on the surface. Okay, so Jason and I will know what you're talking about, I think. So please hit us with some of your obscure taste. It's not that I was obscure. It was that I was just pretentious. So I thought that, like, I was really into, like, Jade Tree. Oh, sick. Okay, never mind. I'm with it now. Yeah. We're back. We love all Jade Tree releases. We stand, promise, on this side. Oh, my God. Yeah. So, I mean, I like Bright Eyes, but the fandom was too much for me. So I was more of a Despacito. What was his dance? Oh, okay. We're out on that. Yep. Yep. Sorry, you lost me. I reel you in and then you see the bad taste and you're like, oh. But you did call it Despacito, which is cool.

Yeah, that's cooler than Despaciados or whatever it was actually. Despaciados. What's with that name? Jason thinks he speaks Spanish because he lives in LA, so he can tell us. I don't know what it means. I mean, I guess it means like desperate white guys. Jason, when you order, do you order in Spanish? Yeah, he totally does. Of course I do. Have you even met me? I am that guy. He rolls his R's like a true monster. So what's your favorite Jade Tree band? Are you like a Cap Jazz chick? Oh, I really like, I mean, I love that. Some people would argue Cap and Jazz is the only true emo band in the history of music. I've heard that. I've heard that. I don't know. So I know everyone loves American football. I don't like American football. I think it's boring. I was very confused why. I don't know. It just seems like they exploded recently. It's actually pronounced football. I don't remember anyone in 2004 loving them. Well, people weren't because people love to like revision. It's all revisionist history. It's like that shit was never that good and people didn't really care that much. But now, you know. Yeah, I think Captain Jez is way better than American football. I do. Yeah, American football is kind of a cucked band at the end of the day. Yeah. It's too soft for me and I'm soft as hell. It is really soft. It has this status. It has some mythical... It's no Melvins. What? No Melvins? No. I was really into Jawbreaker for a few years. They're not Jade Tree, but they're adjacent to the Jets to Brazil, I believe. Jawbreaker is hot fire. Jawbreaker legend status. I remember that people weren't that familiar with them then, and then they exploded around 20... 11 again like they were popular when they were around anyway because what happens is guys like jason and i's age get into power and then those kind of bands reunite and and everybody yeah i was i was listening to just to brazil in like 1998 for sure just is high school music for me like high school age for sure i actually i remember ninth grade i would listen to uh

orange rhyming dictionary. Cause I was like, they're still around. And I like, it's obviously not as good, but it's still good. I believe not like a mate anyway, but yeah. Promise ring captain jazz. Oh, strike anywhere. I think it was my, okay. Okay. We got to slow down. Well, they were like a really good show. I don't trust bands where the guy has dreads. I just don't. Yeah, that was a weird... Unless it's Bob Marley and the Wailers, I'm not here for it. Unless you're from fucking Kingston, Jamaica, not New York. I can't deal with Strike Anywhere. They were really popular. They had a moment. Strike Anywhere, Kid Dynamite. Kid Dynamite was my favorite for a while. Yeah, but also his dreads were down to his waist. They were huge. I mean, he looked like any other vegan guy I knew who worked in a co-op grocery store. You know what I mean? I was very surprised. Very smelly, but good dick game. Good dick game. Yeah, yeah, good dick game. Also, Speaking of airmail, I was reading that article about the underground parties in New York. Do you know anybody who is breaking free and partying over there, Darcy? I don't. I've heard about people. There was some spicy rumor that someone went on a date, broke quarantine for a first date. Not even like, oh. I don't think I do. I'm not really in the going out. I'm really boring. I just want to be invited to one so badly. I don't think I would go, but I feel left out. Where are they? I've heard they're doing them at Lola. Okay. Which is a teen club. I don't know. I think the real ones, the one from Airmail, is definitely at like... I don't know. It's somewhere more high-end, though. It's not in the East fucking Village, that's for sure. It's at the box. Wait, what is the – not the St. Regis. What's the other one? Carlisle. Carlisle. No, it couldn't be that public. I mean, I do think this is going to be a thing. I mean, in L.A., I'm sure it's happening. I'm sure it's happening in L.A. If I – I mean, Jason, former promoter, maybe this is your time to come back, bro.

Yeah, I really think I'm going to start getting into party promoting again. Probably. Circulating Zoom links? I could. I mean, this is going to be an anti-Zoom thing, but that would be hilarious. And I could still file for unemployment, too. That's what I'm saying. Just find an empty, weird, ethnic restaurant in Glendale. Give him a couple hundred bucks. I know that's actually a very good idea. My Armenian mafia bros are definitely ready to start testing the waters, as it were. I just don't know. People get so mad about it, but it's like, look, if people want to party, people are going to party. And somebody's going to make money off it. That's just the reality. Well, they're mad because those people who are partying are then going to Erewhon the next day and giving... my grandma uh covid you know i do understand that but also also worth it also oh i saw a uh influencer uh like a healer influencer uh legitimately she was wearing a mask in the instagram story and she said that i know that like you know wacky people art, you know, everywhere. But just her sincerity was incredible to me. She was like, the virus doesn't affect you if you're on a high enough frequency. Hell yeah. No wonder I don't have it. Yeah. Yeah, that's like the people, you know, it's like cult leader type of shit, like Heaven's Gate stuff. Like you're not going to die when you drink this. You're going to transcend to a higher plane. Yeah. But then you just die. There's a lot of, there's a lot of, um, a lot of influencers like with over a million followers, like, like plandemic types that are like out here telling their followers that like, it's fine. And it's, it's wild. I did see, I was surprised. I saw the video of like, it was, you know, the probably saw it. Some like local news person went to the like open plandemic protest and was just like.

It was like a Harmony Corrine film. They were like yelling at him and they were like, oh, you're fake news and like nearly spitting on him and stuff. And they referenced being in New York and I was like, man, upstate New York is like ridiculous. It was South Dakota County. Really? Long Island. Yeah, it was bleak. Long Island is Orange County. You know what I mean? Oh, that's true. Yeah. Yeah, I mean, it's very close in distance, but, you know, they're so different. Yeah, I mean, like all those protests that were happening here, you know, it's a 34-minute drive from where I am right now. I know someone moved to the Middle East, and he'll say, oh, yeah, ISIS is like... 45 minutes. And he grew up on Long Island. To bring it all the way back, he grew up on Long Island. That's cool. That's very cool. He didn't join ISIS, thankfully. All right, Darcy. Thank you so much for chatting with us today. Thank you for having me. But I hope it was what you expected. It was great. Hopefully you guys have a great core. We're both thriving. And I would expect nothing less from you. Oh, yeah. I don't publicize it, but I am doing it pretty well. Do you have anything that you want to plug? Any pieces or stories or anything coming out soon that our listeners should check out? I mean, I suppose, I guess like by Twitter is just where I post the things that happen. There's nothing really much going on. Got it. In like two years, maybe a book will come out. Okay. Until then, you'll be tweeting? I'll just be tweeting through it. Okay. Yeah. Man, there's really nothing going on. Yeah, look forward to my stew.

this week alright thanks guys thank you we'll talk to you soon bye Darcy bye