002. - Chris Black & Jason Stewart

All right, this episode of How Long Gone is brought to you by Stateside with Kai and Carter, a new podcast from The Guardian. And they are using this podcast to slow down the news and wrestle with the questions that we all have about what's happening in the world. And they do it three times a week. Jason, does that sound familiar to you? We don't really talk about, you know, a lot of international global news items and climates and cultures and sports and things like that. We do talk about fashion and wellness, but for everything else, Kai and Carter are a great place. All right, so who couldn't use more news? Listen wherever you get your podcast. or watch on YouTube. Want to make a podcast? Spotify's got a platform that lets you make one super easily, then distribute it everywhere, and even earn money. We like that. All in one place for totally free. It's called Spotify for Podcasters. And here's how it works. Spotify for podcasters lets you record and edit podcasts right from your cellular telephone or your computer. So no matter what your setup is like, you can start creating today. Then you can distribute your podcast to Spotify and everywhere else, those other places that podcasts are heard. Video podcasts are also available on Spotify. And when you want to take conversations with your fans to the next level, Q&As and polls are the best way to get them talking. With Spotify for podcasters, you can earn money in a variety of ways, including ads and... and podcast subscriptions. And best of all, it's totally free. Zero catch. We've been using it ever since we started How Long Gone. And ever since I discovered Spotify for Podcasters, I feel like having the option of turning off the Q&As and the polls on the user dashboard has really helped boost my creativity and take it to another level. I highly recommend giving it a try. Download the Spotify for Podcasters app or go to www.spotify.com slash podcasters to get started. You can't do this. He's my best friend. He's 23 years old. He smokes pot all day, doesn't have a job. He's starting a podcast. Yo. Yo. What up? You know, just calling you on FaceTime. Oh, episode two, baby. Episode two, it happened so fast. I like...

Do you like our cadence of productivity? I love our productivity. Honestly, the response to this podcast has been great. I agree. I think we're just getting started. I'm excited to see where it goes and where it takes us. Whatever segments can come from it. Whatever hot celebs decide to pop in. It makes it very easy for guests to come on. It does. I mean, I love the lo-fi, end-of-the-world approach that we're taking. There's no other option. Exactly. There's no time for overproduction in this world that we're living in. I mean, I'd be sounding good, but you, not as much. Bitch, I sound pretty good, all right? No, you sound great. I'm saying because I'm talking into a professional microphone with like a... a pop stopper and you're talking into uh your airpod pros through facetime audio across the country let's get into this that's not a diss they're not airpod pros they're airpod originals oh no yeah i want to i want to release this information right now directly to the fans i've reverted back to the originals what the fuck okay please this is what the whole episode is about because i have i have the originals and They constantly fall out of my skull all the time. They totally don't fit in my head. Well, you're misshapen in every way. So I think that's like a personal issue that goes beyond your lobes. Queenie, I am misshapen in all the right places. So I got the new ones and then I left them in LA for a while by accident and Jake Davis held them captive. Then I got them back. Then I took a trip with them. I can't remember where I was. I came back to New York and my left one tumbled out of my ear as I was collecting my mail and went down the space between the elevator and the shaft. And I was like, I was so pissed. I was like, this is fucking cursed. Fuck this. But I was like, I can't use the old shit. That's whack. This is a crossroads.

This is truly it. This is me staring in the mirror like Marvin's room. And then I went to the Apple store and bought a Lucy for $89. And I was like, okay, I'm back. This is fine. This is fine. I'm doing it. Then go to Paris. First day there, I can't find them. And it's showing that they're there. It's showing that they're in the hotel. in the hotel, can't find them anywhere. I give up on it. I'm like, whatever, fuck it. And then the last day I'm like, oh, they're probably going to, they'll fall out of some crevice in this tiny prison hotel room, blah, blah, blah. Don't find them. And I come back to New York and I go back. It's kind of a long story. I'm sorry. I go back to Old Faithful and I put them in and it just feels like home. It feels like a hug. Like, I don't, I don't fuck with those new ones. I don't think they're as good. Well, does that mean? So you only have one of them now, right? I have one. No, I have one pair of originals. Okay. But for the Pro, you only have one side. No, I lost the entire package. Oh, you lost the entire package. Okay. Because I was just going to try to get you to send me the Pros because I need the kind that can stick into your ear with the weird rubber condom sleeves. I think it's a really interesting thing that they've made. It's a truly divisive product. I feel like people really aren't so about it. You know what I mean? People aren't over the moon about the AirPod Pro. Well, if anybody out there feels the same and is just sitting on AirPod Pros, are they still sold out? I bet you can get them now because people are prioritizing food and water more. Who knows, dude? I mean, like, who knows, man? The world is upside down. Anything could happen. AirPod Pros could be available. Yeah, if anyone's sitting on Deadstock APPs and you don't like Patreon like us, you know, donate them to me. I'll give them a spin. We would never Patreon. Well, what's going on with you, King? How you feeling?

I'm feeling pretty good. I mean, the quarantine doesn't really bother me that much. It's more the rain has been really fucking me up. It's been raining more or less on and off, raining every day for probably the last week and a half. And it's going to keep raining again for another week and a half probably until... So it's like three weeks probably of just... gloomy shit weather. I think it's a big effect on Los Angeles as a whole. During times like these, you need some vitamin D, some sunshine to make those walks around the block a little better. I know, but it's weird seeing other parts of the world dealing with whatever is going on and just super sunny and all G. People are at the beach in Miami. And it's like a totally different vibe that I'm yearning for. I'm yearning for a new vibe. I'm also yearning for a new vibe, TJ, since I'm in Montreal and it fucking snowed this morning. So you tell me, bro. Like, you tell me who's got it worse. Like, I don't know. That's true. But, you know, you chose to go there on your own. So you have the weather app on your phone. You knew what you were getting into. that's true what you were doing was getting into chilling with bed yeah and also there's like food here and like you know she has a pot and pan so it's pretty cool uh but i also think that it's just i i yesterday i sent you this excellent footage a follower sent me uh a video of me on the Quebec news entering the airport because there was camera crews set up when you came through customs. So there's actual video footage of me escaping New York, which I feel like I need high res of. Right, right. You can't do iPhone recording the TV. You need whatever. You need to contact the local news authority in Quebec.

I know. You know, they're really nice, friendly people there at the news station in Quebec. Oh, yeah. Do you want a quick time or do you want to... I'm sure they'd be quick to just send over a zip file of the appropriate 10 seconds I'm looking for. But the sun's out now, so things are looking up. And I've been being pretty productive. I have a handful of writing assignments I need to do. which I think is really the way I should be spending my time reading and writing. I haven't watched TV yet, actually. I'm feeling pretty good about that. Really? Yeah. I haven't turned on the boob tube once. You've just been doing YouTube videos? No, I haven't watched any. The only content I've watched is a workout this morning when I was killing my abs while you losers were sitting around getting fat. Hey, I was working out today. I shared my data with you. I know. Thank you for sharing the data. I think that the gang is keeping each other honest. We have to. And since I'm the only one who's dorky enough to have an Apple Watch, I really get to share true stats with you guys. And you guys just have to tell a tale of how your workout went. I mean, first of all, you can look at me and tell how the workouts are going. You know what I'm saying? So it ain't like, you know what I mean? I think the proof in the pudding, TJ, or lack thereof. Well, well done. Not a cup of pudding on you. I think that the Apple Watch... But, you know, I'm trying to get to where you're at. You know, looking as... Have my body looking as good as your body, but still eating good, too, you know? Well, that's the problem. I'm not just eating good. And also, I think that you just have a... interesting body situation to deal with you know what i mean i'm um an interesting body situation to deal with what do you mean well you and you and i've been friends for a long time like you can't go for a run you know what i'm saying you can't do some of the regular shit because of your height it fucks you up so it's just it's different rules but you can jump rope for an hour which i don't think i could do if a gun was in my head that's true well these are things that you might have to start picking up with in the new world

I'm ready to do anything. I'm ready to do any sort of exercise at this point. I think that the dream situation is kind of what you have if it wasn't raining. Being in LA where it's sunny and you can go outside and exercise is kind of the dream. That's the break from the house. Yeah, and it has been a dream, let me tell you. But, you know, I mean, are you guys eating good, though? Are you cooking up? Is my man in the kitchen chefing? Dude, constantly. I mean, that's literally all I do nowadays. I mean, that's all I did before, but now that's really all I'm doing. And I would say my new game is figuring out what is something, you know, something that I really want and then just making it something that, like, there's a restaurant here called BCD Tofu House that everyone likes to go to. You've been there. I have been there. It's gross, but sure. No, I'm just kidding. I'm just kidding. It's good. And I've never made that tofu soup before. So I just went to the store and bought some tofu and made it. And it was delicious. But what I'm seeing is a lot of people on Instagram, especially couples, but some single folks who are starting up there. their their cooking project with bae instagram account where they're gonna share cool recipes on how to on how to live and like stockpile their expensive beans and shit i'm out i'm out i'm out but it's lame lame as fuck it's like I want to know, is this something that everyone has always wanted to do, but they never did because they were scared, but now this is the perfect way to slide in and start posting their Cacio y Pepe videos? Well, I think this is the content version of letting it all hang out. I think people are so desperate to consume that. any content goes i've already i already see it happening the only the only good thing that's popped up out of this is this podcast and thank you the work the work from home fits instagram account that those are the only two things that i'm interested in i haven't seen the work from home fits instagram account it's quite good it's helmed by people i know uh but you're some people are just submitting their fits and then

They're writing very fun, clever captions. But it's good and funny. Good and funny. But it feels very New York media elite insider. Yeah, because these are times where you can't really get a fit off in public. You have to, I guess, you have to really make an effort to show other people the cool clothes that you are wearing. is fun. I guess I've never had that in me as much as you have had it in you. What do you mean? You don't care about wearing cool clothes? I can tell. I like dressing up for an occasion and I like wearing self-destructive fits that make people mad. I like wearing clothing or outfits that only one out of 10,000 dudes would like. But I've never had the need to be like, here's my fit pic for the day. Here's my outfit. First of all. You would never do that either. I was about to say, bitch, those are fighting words. I know you would never do that either, but. When you live in Manhattan, the world is a stage for you. You could get discovered at any moment walking down your Lorimer streets and stuff like that. Wow. Amazing deep reference for our Brooklyn listeners. Or Houston Ave. Any of your boulevards are cool. Have you been to that good pizza shop on Houston Ave? Dude, it's real legit Italiano style. But here in LA, if you're not just posting it like my girlfriend on her Instagram stories in the mirror, there's a very strong chance that no cool people are ever going to see your clothes. Even if you go to a cool place. They only see you pull up in the Tesla. That's all you got. That's why you guys are so focused on cars is because that's the way to flex your taste. Because you're not walking around and showing your fits off. It's a sad reality. It is a sad reality because it should be natural like how you do it. You put your clothes on, you go out into the world and interact with people. Some people might look at your clothing and appreciate it. They might even like your leather pants.

But now you have to make a conscious effort. You have to try for other people to see your clothes. And that's sort of the antithesis of being cool is trying. Nothing is less cool than trying. The only thing that's cool to try with is making money. The rest of it, you can't try. That's just the reality. You can't be like, I really... think i'm gonna get into cocaine i want to do cocaine this weekend do you guys want to do that no you have to be at a cool party and somebody hands you coke and then you weren't trying to do it but now you're doing it and then it takes over your life etc like that's the way you think do you think people are doing coke right now i don't think so i think that i think that we've been talking a lot about how it's hitting restaurants hard and the service industry um but the coke Coke dealers are really feeling it right now. I feel like weed is going for Coke prices in places where you can't walk into a store and buy it. Because what sounds better than that? I know you're probably going off a bean right now. Well, I'm not. I'm not going off of a bean right now because I wait until after I record my podcast to start hitting my bong. Thank you for that. When I smoke weed, I kind of turn into a dummy. I hope you're sitting down when you heard that. I'm shocked, but not appalled. My ability to conversate is not the best. I can just tell my girlfriend what's going on on Curb Your Enthusiasm and be like, don't you remember when we did Tall Tales and I would be smacked as fuck and it was no problem for me? I do remember that. You would smoke one whole blunt. Over the course of a half an hour, and I'd be like, wow, that is crazy. That would put me in the hospital. I would be writing my will and testament if I did that. And then half an hour, number two, spark up another backwood or a swisher. And that would just blow my mind. But you would be a totally normal, comprehensive person. I don't know. I think that's...

scary to to realize that that's where the tolerance was at yeah that's a totally a bad thing it's like when people are like yeah i if i don't have 50 xanax bars a day i'm not like a normal person like that you you do you develop a tolerance that is so insane people are gone off the fucking bars that's for sure right now oh my god that's the number that's the number one fucking self-isolation drug is the bars i i agree completely nothing makes a couch any cooler than than a xanax oh my god goals i mean people are i mean i just think people are getting getting what the real thing though the question to me is like when is this going to become more normal and people are going to it's it's going to you're going to get into a routine almost and the drinking and drugs or whatever you're doing to distract yourself from the sad reality hits that's the real question right when there's no i think reason to have it be you know there's no reason to not have your three o'clock wine yeah yeah it's not exceptional anymore it's norm and i think we are going to get to that point so it's like what do people do then because that's going to be much more difficult i agree i mean i i haven't really had um a desire to drink at all which is which is cool i guess but Or, I mean, I don't know. Or I don't have any reason to, like, eat an edible to get through the pains of the day or, like, deal with stress. Like, I don't have any of that. But I am smoking weed at night and watching British Bake Off. Have you guys had any friends over anything? No. No, we were going to have a little dinner with Oberg tonight, but then we decided to push. Damn, she could have just brought some vitamins. You guys would be fine. What are you worried about, dude? I'm not worried. I'm not worried. Actually, she's not vaccinated. You got to be careful, actually. That's a good point. That's a good point. I mean, I think...

A dinner with a small group is acceptable, but I think that depends, obviously, on everyone's comfort level. Yeah, I'm very much looking forward to the, you know, kind of like the clue style whodunit energy of your first dinner party with your friends. That's definitely happening. Yeah, I mean, definitely. Hey, I brought wine. And then like everyone, like one person coughs and you're like, oh, I have a, my grandpa's going to die because of you. Definitely have Corona for sure. No question. I'm glad that I wasn't talking when you said that. So we got a clean take of you saying that. I feel totally fine, but I definitely have it. So like, what are you going to do? You just know it in your bones, you know? Yeah. You know, you just feel, sometimes you feel things. You know what I'm saying? I think the fact that you're so in touch with your body is like really awesome actually. Wow, thanks, Jason. I love when you talk to me like that. You're really uplifting. This is making self-isolation much better. Yeah, I was talking to Ben Edgar yesterday who asked the question about where he was. Friend of the show. Friend of the show, Ben Edgar. His question that was letting us know all the different expensive, nice hotels throughout the world that he has visited. He said he only went to two of them. His rich guy question that he asked? You got to drop a rich guy question. I was saying that I'm secretly trying to take the high road and be the voice of reason on this podcast. Wow. Yeah, I'm trying to paint you as a buffoon, and then I'm really trying to turn me into a self-help guru, intelligent podcaster angle. Bitch, you've done years of dumbass podcasting. No one is going to be fooled by a couple episodes of you trying to sound like a grown-up with a brain. That's the joke. You ain't – yeah, okay. All right. Well, then it's funny. If that's the joke, then I'm laughing. Otherwise – I'm trying to be able to do both though. Okay. Well, look. I will definitely not stop being a buffoon. Good. Take the lane, bro. I'm getting over so you can speed by. I saw you were posting a Twitter article about Entire World, the clothing company.

about what clothing brands are doing now to stay in business, stay sustainable in this time. I did not read the article, but I know that I've been receiving emails from them giving me a 25% discount on sweatsuits. Yeah, I think it's... Which is something. It's not bad. Well, Scott's just, I think the whole... The article is, I mean, the interview with Sam Shuby, it's on GQ, but it's basically, I mean, the gist of it is he's being extremely honest with his customers and saying like, this is going to be hard and this is why. And it's not like everybody else is kind of sending like the same blanket statement that says the same things. And I think that kind of transparency is respectable, but also just kind of like what he has always done. That's kind of his whole thing. It makes you want to support his business more than another one because you feel like he's being honest with you and it's humanizing. I agree with that. What things do you think clothing brands are going to need to do to be able to sell clothes and stay in business in the next whatever six months? It's a tough question. I think if you have brick and mortar, that's a different conversation because there's rent and all that stuff associated with it. But I think if you're doing something direct to consumer, I'm not talking brick and mortar. That's already, that's a riz app. You fucked. But I mean, I think that like, there's a way, I mean, there's a line of thinking that, and this is actually something I talked about with Ben, is that, you know, people are obviously still shopping online because they have nothing else to do. But there might, there might become a time where these people realize that. They're spending a lot less money on eating out and Uber and drinking and all this stuff. So I think some people that have like a secure job and know that their future is relatively in shape will just spend that money on clothes because it's because that's what they would do anyway. And they're looking at it as excess to some extent. I think people that are, you know, in a position like you or I, where it's like everything's cool, but it could all blow up tomorrow.

might buy a little bit, but I'm not going crazy. You know what I mean? Well, what is the point? It's kind of hard to buy clothes if you have nowhere to wear them to other than your living room. Well, that's a defeatist attitude, Jason, and I believe that one day we're going to leave these houses and we're going to need to get these fucking fits off. Of course, but you're going to be doing it in last season. Baby, it doesn't matter. We're seasonless right now. You think I'm buying seasonal garments? You think I'm buying corny Balenciaga that people know is last season? I'm seasonless Chris. You only wear evergreen garments? Evergreen. I like my content and my garments evergreen. You can mark my words. I know, but I'm saying... It's hard to be like, all right, I saved up my hard-earned money, and I found these pair of shoes that I truly love, and I can't wait to wear them, and I won't be able to wear them until early August. And then by then, will you not like the shoes anymore? Will they not be in style anymore? There's a possibility of that, but I also think there's something to be said about people are... You combine boredom with designer clothing, and then it's going on sale at some point because... It has to because, first of all, the regular seasonal sales and also the world condition we're in. People can't resist. Bro, are you kidding me? That's a recipe for fucking topping. Speaking of recipe, I'm wondering if those clothing budgets are going to start moving into things that are a little more utilitarian and things that they can use. kitchen equipment or things like that for this new world that we're living in or are they only going to buy like leisure clothes or i think people will buy i think i mean they're definitely gonna there's definitely gonna be shifts and what people are buying as far as like you know um priority priority wise but i do think that like no matter what, who you are or what's going on, if you like clothes, it's going to be sexier than buying a fucking blender, no matter if you're stuck inside or not. And I think we need a little, I think also that clothes bring people joy in some way. Like if you can spend a hundred bucks and it gives you that dopamine rush that you're not getting from socializing or, or whatever other avenues usually get it from, then you're probably just going to, you're probably going to do it. Yes.

Because you're going to get to wear this stuff at some point. It's not like we're going to be stuck inside forever. So I'm buying a very cool motorcycle helmet just so I can walk around comfortably outside now. Yeah, I told my girlfriend we have to play on the cheap chess set and figure out if we really love it before we get the Hermes one on RealReal. Yeah, I mean, the RealReal, I mean... The Prada flashlight, that's what I need for when the end times really come. I'm going to fucking find you zombies with my Prada flashlight. But yeah, I think people are going to keep shopping. I think Amazon announced today they're getting rid of non-essential deliveries from sellers. But obviously stuff that's non-essential that comes directly from Amazon, you can still buy because they can guarantee that's not contaminated is the idea. But have you, TJ, have you guys resorted to playing games yet? Or has it not gotten that dark yet? No, no, no. Actually, it was funny because she, my girlfriend, she told me today she's never listened to a podcast voluntarily in her entire life. But then she went for a walk today and listened to episode one of our podcast. Well, I would like to say she sent me her review. Uh-oh. And it's pretty good. She said she loved it. There's no two people I want to talk shit with more than TJ and CB. That's the tagline. That's our jacket quote when the book comes out. I love it. But she went to the store and got a few things and then she came back and she's like, I know you guys don't like board games. No, she picked up a small chess set. And I said that doesn't count as a board game. That is a timeless game of skill and intellect. There's two sheet games in the world, bat gammon and chess. Sheet game is different than board game. But I don't know how to play either one, so it doesn't really make a difference to me. I think picking up chess in these quarantine times is a smart move to keep the brain nimble.

I agree with you, actually. I would like to learn. Unfortunately, my patience level is literally zero because my brain has been absolutely ruined by the internet. So I don't know if I could sit there and do it. We know. We know. But also, what if one of us gets really good at chess and then one of us kind of sucks ass? It's like playing tennis against somebody who sucks and then it kind of drives a spike between us. That's a good idea, actually. No, that's bad. That's what I want to avoid. Yeah, that's true. Well, I guess if dressing and getting your fits off is a form of self-care for you, how has your self-care and personal maintenance and grooming gone down since you aren't leaving the house? No, hell no. Are you kidding me? I fucking shower twice a day. I'm using luxurious products. I'm putting on Aesop deodorant, comb de garçon cologne. I'm doing masks. I'm moisturizing my hands. I mean, this is not a fucking game. Dude, my hands were so dry from washing that I was getting cracks in my knuckles. I had to pull out the fucking skin food and start slathering. You know what I'm saying? I had to slather. We are also a skin food house. That's nice. But, well, I thought of that because of you because I know that you outsource your beard trimming and grooming. Yes, I do. I get that done when I get a haircut. Luckily, I was able to sneak in for a haircut and beard trim right before the apocalypse. Hopefully, if everything is timed properly, I'll be back in New York within a three-week window. My barber is making house calls for, obviously, her best and most high-profile client. I'm looking pretty good. Okay, so you're good. So I was hoping that you were going to have like a David Letterman style beard growth while you're, while you're away because you don't know how to trim your own facial hair. I mean, I do know how bitch, but I just don't want to. You don't care for the mess. You don't care for the mess. No, it's gross. It's gross. But I do. I've recommended, I've recommended the wall peanut before. Um, but if you're stuck, if you're stuck in the house and you don't have a way to trim your, your beard, uh,

Amazon has the wall peanut, which is like $50. I think it's a tiny little beard trimmer that all the professionals use. It's really nice. Very portable, battery-powered. Cop the peanut is what we're saying. Cop the peanut. Cop the nut. Cop the nut. Well, I have been showering normally and wearing moisturizer and all that shit, doing a mask every now and then, sure. But I did stop wearing deodorant. That's disgusting, Jason. Why would you do that? I don't smell bad. Unless I work out for a long time, then I'll have a little stench to me, sure. But then I just shower and it goes away. But why would you stop? What's the point of not wearing deodorant? Just out of boredom as an experiment. Because I don't do the healthy crystal deodorant. Full cancer degree deodorant. So, you know, I'm just doing a detox from that. Because it doesn't matter. That's really crazy. That's really crazy that you're doing that. I don't know why you would do that to your partner. I mean, because I don't smell. The only time I really smell ripe is after I'm sweating from physical workout. And then I hit the showers. loofah up and then you know clean as a baby must be nice i don't smell bad either are you fucking kidding me i'm like i'm like i assumed you did not smell bad but you know you know give it a shot or at least you know your your aesop deodorant not cheap No, but I love the, you know, I've been trying to do some, I've tried some other spray deodorants lately because I just wanted to see, I was testing the marketplace because one of my clients in the skincare world, I'm pushing to make a spray deodorant. And, you know, I use a really expensive one from Suzanne Kaufman. It's like 50 bucks or something. Didn't do anything for me smell wise. And I tried another one, actually cow shed.

The Soho House brand makes a really good one. Really? But you have to order it online because I'm not a member of Soho House because I'm not corny. And that is more difficult. I don't think I could buy anything from the Cow Shed collection. I'm telling you, it's a great product. Okay, I believe you. But Aesop, the smell is so good that that's where they get you. No one can replicate that thick bergamot smell. I used to do a double up with that. base coat of degree and then top coat of Aesop on top. I remember when you were a layerer. Yeah, you know, because as good as Aesop smells, it is not body heat activated. I don't find a problem with it, but I've heard that from other people too. So you're not the first one. Yeah, you know, it's kind of like, you know, just I need a full, like drinking whole milk your whole life and switching to nonfat. it don't feel right. You know what? I think now's a good time to discuss. Thanks for bringing that up. Um, where we, where we stand with alternative milk. Are you back on whole milk? No, no, I'm, I'm doing unsweetened Khalifa almond milk as, as my daily driver. But I do, um, I do like having a little like super expensive Strauss or like high level grass fed pasture raised whole milk. You know, farmer's market shit. It's delicious. It really changes your cereal game. And I know you do be eating cereal. You stopped eating cereal. No, I stopped eating cereal months ago. The sugar is too much. You can't eat that. I've completely cut cereal out of my life. Cold turkey. Not a puffin in sight. Not a peanut butter puffin as far as the eye can see. What about the Magic Spoon cereal that uses... I was going to try that, and I almost ordered it, but none of the flavors really interested me that much. But I think it's a cool product. I think it's a really smart idea. It's a cool product. I tried it, but I just can't handle anything that is stevia sweetened because it's always way too much. It's always an overload of stevia. There's nothing that exists where it's...

a Stevia product, but a subtle amount of it. I feel like it's making money. Yeah, I mean, it's sugar-free, keto, paleo cereal. The world needs that. Have you lost weight during the quarantine? No. Maybe one pound, but I'm such a large man that I fluctuate. up and down every day, you know, like three to four pounds probably. So it's kind of hard to tell, but too soon. But I mean, I feel great. I'm not eating out. I'm eating only food that I'm cooking myself. You know, not really drinking. So it's good. And, you know, getting exercise, which is nice. It is nice. Look, I think this is, you know, I see a lot of these fucking... hippie bozos on instagram be like this is just a time to reset this is a sign it's a time to reset and i want to make fun of them but i also think there might be some truth to it one thousand percent i mean i'm resetting my deodorant use that doesn't count jason i mean things that actually matter i feel like we're gonna start resetting a lot of things in our life whether we realize it or not I think so too. I feel pretty good about that. I think that me eating food cooked at home is truly a big shift for my body and I will see results quickly. Do you think it could even change you into somebody who would chef it up yourself? That's a fear of mine, but I think I can resist the temptation. Is there anything that you can cook at all, period? Other than cereal? I can cook eggs properly, like a scrambled egg. Low and slow. but you're not really an egg man either uh i eat eggs i think i need the protein source i'd say but i think eating eating three meals prepared at home is i've never done that in my entire life like ever as an adult even as a even as like a teenager you know i mean i've never done that so i think that is an interesting thing to explore um

Because I don't mind it. It's good. It tastes good. It's just interesting. I think the social aspect and the whole idea of going to restaurants is really what I care about more than actual food. That's what I'm missing. You're just simply doing a detox from that, from going out to restaurants and all the things that come with it. Even though it's not necessarily a bad thing, it's still good to take a little time off from there. You're right. No, you're right. If you look at anything long enough, you can turn it into a detox or a cleanse. I did the carnivore diet for a week and I basically was like, yeah, I'm just doing a detox from sugar and carbs. Even the sugar and carbs that appear in broccoli. Let's talk about that. How did it go? I kind of liked it a lot. I think I could see myself doing it once a year like a cleanse. But, I mean, you really feel insane. The downside is you really get sick of eating meat and eggs really quickly. And you start craving things like just a baby carrot or anything, you know? Which is kind of good. it's good, but I think of you as a person who truly will eat anything and the variety is the spice of life. So I think it's extra hard, hard for you because you're doing it more as an experiment. You don't really, the results are neither here nor there is what it feels like. Yeah. But I am, you know, if I am an eater who believes variety is a spice of life, then I'm taking a detox from that. You know, if you, if you look at it that way, but, um, I ate. I didn't realize how much meat and eggs I actually had to consume every day to not feel tired and worn down. But then once I leveled out and had it figured out, well, it was pretty fun and really stupid. But it was a weird feeling to... Usually the way I eat is I don't eat breakfast and then healthy lunch, salad, sweet green, whatever.

And then dinner is when I go full mask off and just eat whatever I want. And then I wake up and I'm not hungry at all. I'm maybe a little upset that I ate too big of a dinner. And then I just repeat it over and over again. So this was very much like I wake up and I'm like, ooh, I'm hungry as hell. I'm about to eat bacon and eggs and steak. Then I would get excited to eat breakfast. That was a new feeling for me. That is different. What are you doing right now snack-wise? What's your go-to, not packaged, but something you would make? It's weird. Right now, during the teen, I'm not really hungry at all. I've only had a smoothie today. I'm going to make some protein-style burgers for dinner. I'm not really snacking. It's kind of interesting. I'm trying. I think that's the people's hardest challenge during this thing. If you buy $600 worth of fucking groceries and sitting in your house and you're like, damn, these fucking health food store Doritos are looking pretty bomb right now. Yeah, there's no binitos. There's no Himalayan sea salt popcorn. Because it really is such a slippery slope. Once you start that, you have no reason to stop. And then it's just mania. I would rather just save it. And then when it's time to eat, I'm going whole hog, balls deep. I love when TJ goes whole hog, balls deep. Yeah. One thing I have noticed, I've been eating a lot more chocolate. And I'm not even a sweet. Well, that's because, I mean, that's, you know, I have a bad sweet. Dude, I'm a bad boy. I love sweets. I love sweets. I smuggled some Unreal over the border. I paid $9 for a bag of Unreal at the airport because it was the last resort. You know, I feel like there's so much better chocolate out there than Unreal, though. Bitch, I know there is, but it's like fake healthy, and it's comforting because it's like a Reese's Cup or like a peanut M&M. It's like the same shit. You know what I mean? It's not, but it is.

I know. All right. Anything else you want to talk about before I get into a few reader questions? Yeah, there are a couple things. You mentioned there are a couple. It sounds like you're in trouble, doesn't it? I am, I think. That's because you are, because you mentioned maybe a day or two ago that you feel like the FX show Dave starring Lil Dicky. Might be low-key funny, is what you say. I think, I don't say the word low-key, first of all, bitch. I'm not a VSCO girl. VSCO? VSCO, I think. All I can say is Lil Dicky is absolutely trash at rapping. But I did see, I've seen the trailer. You've seen some Dave clips? I've seen some Dave clips, and the clips are pretty funny. The clips were pretty funny. And I just saw on Twitter, actually, Nomi Fry asking about the show. And then Molly Lambert saying the first episode is really good. The second episode isn't good. I mean, how much of you wants the show to be bad? Actually, none. I like when people that are already famous finally do something that's good. That's always refreshing. Would you consider Lil Dicky to be famous? I mean, Lil Dicky featuring on the Justin Bieber album, bro. What the fuck are we doing? That's true. That's true. You know what I'm saying? I'll stop there. Lil Dicky, low-key, has hella writing credits. That's true. I think this is some growth for you because I think a Chris from even just six months ago or a year ago would never even enter into his mind the possibility of watching a Lil Dicky. fx show damn am i getting soft tj i think you're getting a little soft but i i will watch dave um it will be i don't i don't know if i have that channel it's on hulu you probably don't have hulu that's budget shit bro we don't fuck with hulu hulu is how people watch tv that is happening currently netflix we watch spectrum we watch spectrum cable is what we watch bitch

Okay, real ones? We got wires on us. We're like undercover cops. We wear a wire. The only real ones in my life are you and everyone's aunt. Nobody has cable anymore. I'm going to have cable until I die. I'm going to have internet anyway. It costs like $100 total. Why not have it? I think that is a cool hill for you to die on, though. Thank you for that. I mean, I think that certain things in people's lives, if they're just like... steadfast like no you know i'm just gonna always have cable and that's just what i'm gonna do and you stick with that forever i like stuff like that so keep it i mean that's what that's what we're doing okay yeah like so if our listeners out there let us know what you think about little dickies dave and i just want to be very clear with the listeners he is trash i do not fuck with the music he is not white rappers are not acceptable so but chris is pleading for you to separate the artist from the art Exactly. It's exactly what I do with all of my other fucking disgraced artists. Well, speaking of streaming and cable, I think that in these trying times where you're seeing Vogue Italia is releasing all their issues and blah, blah, blah, I think some of these paid streaming services should start offering free service just for everyone. for the summer or whatever three months hbo should just be free for the next three months they'll probably get a lot of customers that way i mean i would tend to agree with you but we live in an extremely capitalist society where giant companies will never stop profiting even if it even if optically it's such a good idea i just don't see giant corporations doing that maybe maybe i'm wrong right maybe i'm wrong but i do think there's i mean the vogitalia thing is really interesting because um I think that that is like, that's so niche and it doesn't cost them anything. They're not losing money by opening up those archives because they weren't offering them to you before. Are they, are they, are they selling ads on that? Are they like advertising? I mean, there's, there's ads on the site and they're getting more traffic in a roundabout way. Sure. They might be making more money per click, but you know what I mean? It's not like, yeah, it's just sitting there collecting dust. And the only reason like, yeah, it was looking at it on Tumblr, you know, but that's about it.

Yeah, exactly. So I think that them doing that, they know it's actually no sweat off their back. They will make money, but that's not actually the point. And no one really looks at it as like a cash grab. So why not? You know what I mean? I think that kind of thing, like opening up. I mean, that's what the newspapers do, right? During times like this, like New York Times has a Corona page. It's free. So I do think there's a... there's a standard for that. It's kind of out there. Corona page, baby. I just don't think fucking Disney and HBO and these like giant companies give a fuck. I don't think, I think they're looking to have to make more money. Yeah. I mean, they probably will make more money. You know, they're, I'm sure their subscriptions are going way up right now when people need to watch dumbass Game of Thrones or something. Yeah, for sure. Like we talked about last episode though. It's like putting out. The content that matters now is the better way to make money than anything else. Just give people what they want and they'll pay for it because they're desperate. Slash are the only way to make money right now. Exactly. No, selling weed. You know what I'm saying? Stealing Zannies from your granny and flipping them. But when you do sell the drugs, you have to do the drop-off on the doorstep and then a walk away. There's no hand to hand. Of course, which is smart. Yeah, well, the last thing I wanted to talk to you about before we get into questions is you did mention earlier that you were spotted on TV in Montreal at the airport. And as somebody like you who likes to catch flights and not feelings, what was the vibe at LaGuardia when you were flying out during this time where? you you know a lot of people might look at that as not a good thing to do i mean it was quiet but like i mean it wasn't super in times vibe you know what i mean it wasn't like overwhelmingly weird um it was quiet and people were like it seemed like a lot of people who don't fly often you know what i'm saying like i think that it it's like

People whose vacation got cut short and they had to go home. They weren't necessarily bugged out. When you see a bunch of rich people on the Greyhound and you're like, oh, this is not... Yeah, this is bad, bad, bad. I think that a lot of people, for whatever reason, during a time like this, New York just feels like not the place to be. It just doesn't feel like the place to be for whatever reason. The other side of that coin, though, to me is like... It is such an infrastructure and ran pretty well on a day-to-day basis considering how chaotic it is. So it can go either way. I just personally, for my own reasons, didn't want to be there. But I think a lot of people I know stayed. If they didn't go to their parents' house or go to the Hamptons, then they stayed. I mean, it is probably one of the hardest places, at least in America, to practice social distancing. 100%. People are just living on top of each other. Your square footage is just so tiny and the amount of space you have is so little. I think we're also just like savages. You guys are absolutely like savages when it comes to the way you dress, when it comes to the way you talk and the rap music you listen to. It's fucking savage as hell. I feel like if things got really bad and I was walking down the street with a loaf of gluten-free bread, I could get cut up. You know what I'm saying? I could get jacked. See, you'll just get carjacked for the Tesla. I'll get stabbed, bro. That's different. Damn, NYC is fucking lit. It's lit, bro. Yeah, no, but that is true. That is true. In LA, I'm not worried. I'm not worried about anybody. That's because you run the city. You're good. You don't even have to check in when you land. I'm the king of New York. I got to check in with you. That's the thing. When I land, I got to call Jason. Then you send me some guys. You let me use your car. That's right. Oh, you thought you could come to my city and eat Kismet rotisserie with a chicken in? You think you could go to Go Get Him, Tiger?

Without checking in, I ruined this fucking city. I thought you were about to do Pop Smoke voice, R.I.P. No, no, no. Too soon. No, I wouldn't do that either. I wouldn't do that either. Okay. I'll do a Nipsey voice. That's about it. Don't get me started on that. All right. Let's get in some questions. Blast off. You ready? You know, what... So this is from, I can't even pronounce this guy's name. M-A-P-A-T-E, Mapate? That's a fire name. Okay. I've never had that dish before. What candles or fragrances are you using in your respective homes that you never get tired of? And can you recommend any scents to ward off cabin fever? TJ, what you burning? What you burning in Glendale, player? I just ran out of my Byredo, what's it called? Spring Rose? Is that what it is? Let me see. Hold on. Just rose, I think. It is called burning rose. Ah, burning rose, yes. Yeah, I just dusted a burning rose. That's been keeping me chill. But otherwise, I was blasting some incense earlier. What's the Japanese brand? Kumba? Kumba? Yeah, that. And then... You know, my girlfriend is more of the candlehead. No diptyque, though. No diptyque, please believe. Wow, diptyque's fire. That's a classic. Don't hate on diptyque, bro. You just don't know. I understand. You're not as smart as I am. We're rocking with the – we had the new Noah Lotus incense burning, which is very nice and calming. They're going to need to sell a lot more incense now that nobody will want their clothes. I know. You're telling me. And then the Jound candle. And there's a Byredo bibliotech. I mean, we got options. You know what I'm saying? I didn't even know Jound made a candle. Yeah, it's really nice, actually. It's in Google right now. It's in a black canister. I can't remember the brand name. Is it an APC one? No, no, no. It's his own. It's old. It's kind of expensive, I think. Oh, I see it. I see it. We got that. But I also think it's important to consider...

What body wash are you rocking? You know what I'm saying? Like what, you know, like the full, you know, you've got to keep the full, every smell has to be good and calming because you're stuck inside. You don't want to smell like garbage. That's true. Do you think, so do you think the quarantine is going to affect your, your high dollar candle purchasing or are you going to double down and keep, keep dropping, dropping 80 on a candle, 120 on a candle? First of all, you think I'm paying? Come on, dog. Who are you talking to? Are you Byredo Flow Team? I actually am. I don't mean to boast, but I actually am Byredo Flow Team. Hashtag influencer, bitch. I teed you up and you delivered, baby. That's what this relationship is. Abby and Costello. I think that actually the smell of the home in this... world we're living in is vital vital i think keep fresh flowers if you can i think keep good smells i think that's really important to keeping like mental clarity and like feeling positive the only thing my house smells like a nice gabagool you know what i mean shut the fuck up oh i already i'm quitting this podcast over two episodes my yeah my house just smells like yogurt mostly this is a great question actually that i i i think we're gonna have great views on uh brad brad isaacs asks what what is the most underrated trail mix ingredient damn that is a very good question extremely deep and i think obviously i'm gonna i'm gonna throw to you because this is your kind of you know the most underrated i mean for me i'm i'm not into when trail mix has has candy in it me neither me neither i am going to go Oh, shit. I'm going to go with the dried... Is it papaya? Oh, I like that, too. You know, like the little papaya chunks? They're kind of like a dark orange cube shape. Damn, bro. Those are my favorite, too. Those are my favorite, too. Dude, I would say that. And then sometimes I like it when they have the sesame sticks.

oh yeah that's nice those those which are just like you you feel like they're healthy and good for you but they're like definitely worse worse for you than a dorito but it's a but it's a fire it's it's a it's the crunch is what it's bringing to the table the texture oh yeah but anything further in that direction and you're getting into a gardetto's world which is not really a trail mix that's more of a snack we could we could do a whole podcast on gardetto ride chips and our love for those but yeah i would say those are the most those are most underrated i also like um i also like a pumpkin seed yeah yeah i like that too i don't mind that too damn because it's a good it's a very that nut is very good for you um wow uh wow Carol Zhang asks, what do you do if you find out your MCM is into Taylor Swift? Wait, did your girlfriend send this? Under a pseudonym? No. Carol, reveal yourself. Well, I know some dudes who are very cool and I trust their taste levels and they do like... Taylor Swift from certain eras. I think anything new in the last five years is a no-fly zone, but some of her earlier stuff, I remember, you know, like Dear John type of shit. I mean, I like some Taylor Swift songs. She got some bangers from back then. Everybody, you know, first of all, new album, the song Lover is an absolute smash. And unfortunately, it was written with, what's his name? Bozo. The fun guy? Lena Dunham. But that motherfucker's got slapped. He's got hits. But that song, Lover, is amazing. But I think Taylor Swift is okay to like. I don't think that's a bad sign. I think that a modern man can accept pop music and enjoy it for what it is, even if it's made fun of in the public. What are your top three Swift bops? I'm not really that well-versed, to be honest.

We can't talk about the Ryan Adams covers, obviously. No, no, no. That one hits hard too much. Really hard. Well, think on it next episode. We can get into it more. But yeah, I think that you should accept that your boyfriend likes some Taylor. But I think there's a certain point where nobody should like Taylor Swift that much. I would agree with that. if they're your boyfriend or your girlfriend or your mom or whatever, but you know, depending on what the songs are, it's, it's, it's nothing to flag yet. I agree. I agree. Um, all right. One more question. This is from friend of the pod. Uh, some hoodlum, uh, shout out to Adam. Um, Is having a Le Labo air freshener in your Range Rover very cool or very lame? Considering going into business with someone who has this setup and I wasn't sure what to make of it. You know, this is a complicated question. Do we know if it's a man or a woman? Not that that matters, but does it matter? We don't, but I think that having an air freshener in your car to begin with is just odd. I would never do that. But if you must have one. I think Le Labo is a pretty good choice over black ice or whatever you see in the Uber. But do they make an air freshener for cars, or is it just like the spray bottle of air freshener, like the diffuser thingy or something? I would imagine they make one for a car. That wouldn't surprise me. They have a car diffuser. I mean, it is pretty tight, I guess, but... I think the real problem is the Range Rover because that makes me automatically assume that they have self-esteem issues. Well, that depends on is it a new Range Rover or is it a classic 1999 Discovery in all yellow? You know what I mean? Is it made for utility or is it just a flexor car? Yeah, all these questions are difficult. I'm going to assume that it is a newer one.

I'm going to assume it's a newer one too. But I do think that it's a good sign. But even worse than a newer one is when you get the super classic 80s one that costs like $70,000. Those ones with the Le Labo is too much. It's going too much. That's too much vibe. I agree. That's too much vibe. Wow. Wow. in these difficult times, I'm glad that we're able to speak on such important topics and, uh, give, give people a platform to get questions answered. Well, this is the, this is the real shit, man. And like, not enough people are stepping up to the plate. Exactly. Exactly. Um, look, man, I think that's enough questions. Um, you know, I, I feel good. I, you know, I want to tease out the next couple episodes cause daddy Chris has lined up some pretty, pretty, you know, I feel like, um, I feel like I'm talking to, paradigm agency with the amount of talent that you're booking on this show. Well, I mean, you know, Jason, it's, it's, you know, it's just like friends talking to friends, bro. It's not really, you know what I'm saying? It's not really like that. I think that's, it just comes together so naturally. I think that's part of the reason, you know, we're able to do this, but I think, so this episode is going to go up tomorrow, which is Wednesday. And then we'll be back on Friday with writer and actress, Hari Neff calling it live. So we'll be doing that. And then, and then, For Monday, we're looking at Trainer to the Stars, Joe Holder, Ocho System in the fucking building telling you, you fucking losers, how to stay fit during this hard time. We're bringing in a professional to tell you how to do this because Jason and I aren't even qualified, but that's what we do. We care so much about you, the listener. This guy's training Naomi Campbell, and then he's going to train you for free verbally. Yeah, this ain't no little spreadsheet. This is going to be real pro shit now. This is a Nike master trainer, not a Reebok trainer or some broke boy shit. This is a Nike boy. That's A+++. This is good because I can only afford a Reebok trainer, so I'm getting Nike for free and there's no Patreon. God bless you. That's fire. I just want to say, I don't see these other podcasts. Do you see other podcasts doing this? I don't really see that. Sir, no sir.

I don't want a Charlemagne and Joe Budden situation here, but I just don't see other podcasts providing that kind of content. We've got more guests coming. We've got Media Elite. We've got Friends. We've got Comedians. Write in and suggest people from our big network that you want to hear on the podcast. Let us know. Past podcasting, Ryan O'Connell was always probably everyone's favorite. And he's already on board. And the great part about these celebs who are so busy right now, all they have to do is just call your cell phone and boom, we're on a podcast. There's no driving across town. I don't have to get you a La Croix from the fridge. There's no release form. There's no bullshit like that. Just like boom, boom. You don't even have to be camera ready. No, it's truly amazing, the platform that we're providing for people. I mean, it really is. It really is amazing. But yeah, if you guys have any suggestions for who you would like to hear from, we'll be happy to bang their line if they're in the phone book. And if not, I'll hit the DM. I'm not afraid of a little Twitter DM. I'm not afraid to book a guest that way. I'm not afraid to scrape the bucket. You know what I'm saying? But Famous is only, though, please. yeah famous only yeah i only the only people the only people i'm going to reach out to have a blue check on both platforms so i don't know i like that so far every episode that we've recorded ends with us talking about blue checks like i said important topics only all right so we will be covering whatever happened to vanessa hudgens on next week's episode yeah that's the hot fire oh my god all right guys well thank you for listening And as always, tell a friend if you like this show, give us a subscribe. We should hopefully be up on Apple Podcasts soon. Sorry about the delay. Hold on one second. Hold on one second. Let me also fire a little shot at you people coming at us for using Spotify. Look, you know I don't like Spotify.

We didn't have a fucking choice. So your choice is either you get the content or you don't. So what are you going to do? What are you going to do? Do you want the podcast now or do you want it next week? If you want it now, you're going to have to go to Spotify. If you want it next week, boom, Apple's fine. We make executive decisions under duress. And that's what we had to do here. The principal members of how long gone LLC had to make a decision. And let me reiterate. that I've said before, you don't need to download Spotify to listen to it. You can listen to it just off the web. No problem. No problem. But in all sincerity, thank you guys for listening. I hope everyone is making it through in their own little ways. Yes, in their own little dumb ways. Exactly. Thank you guys for listening and we'll see you guys next time. Later, mate.