055. - Chris Black & Jason Stewart

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What's up, TJ? What up? It's TJ here. Thanks for joining us. Sorry for that late, five minute late. You know, one thing leads to another. It's a whole thing. I don't know. As a person who's historically on time, to the point of it being, I would say, a negative thing for me. Too punctual for your own good? Yeah, I would say. It has hurt you in the past? Well, I think at a certain point I was so early that it was not a good use of time. Is that a real thing? Dead ass. That would be 20 minutes early to everything. Is that a pre... Were you doing that when you weren't sober? Yeah, this was just my life. Yeah, I've always been like that. You've always been a punctual pal. Well, I like to hit the lobby. You know, I have a... a Fiji that they offer me at the front desk usually. You know what I mean? All of your meetings happen in hotels with Fiji water is what we're saying. Well, actually this would be an office, but yeah, hotel is great too. Oh, okay. Sorry. When I heard lobby. I understand. I understand. When you think telly, your brain goes to lobby. Yeah. I mean, it had like call girl energy to it, which is fine. Thank you, sweetie. So yeah. Yeah. I had to do a beard trim. I know. Well, Jason, we haven't pivoted to YouTube yet, so I don't know why it was so urgent. No, I was doing that, and I had to receive some packages. It was a whole thing, timing-wise, here at the opening window. I love when you have to juggle your responsibilities of assistant and groomer in one Sunday afternoon. That's asking a lot of TJ. The packages were for me, bitch, okay? Oh, that's interesting. What did you get? Just some things from Amazon. I got some citronella candles because my girlfriend has been having a mosquito problem. And then I got some vinegar-based organic weed spray. It's a big day over here. Damn, bro. Your life sucks, man.

Well, you know, once you become, you know, once you hit real life, you have to, you know, you got to buy, you got to spend your money on these domestic, you know, I'm not buying Byredo candles. I'm buying, you know, candles that serve a purpose more than just, you know, flexing your money. I understand. And I got some mail yesterday too, but it was just a Ralph Lauren cricket sweater. That I had found on eBay. Okay, so thankfully it was a vintage piece. Oh, I'm the king of upcycle, baby. You know what I'm saying? We ain't shopping at Zara. You ain't going to catch me at H&M. You will catch me at Uniqlo, which I think is slightly less problematic. I'm not totally sure. When did buying shit online turn into upcycling? Well, if it's old. If it's vintage, then I don't think it's actually upcycling. I think it's just vintage. Okay, so upcycling is when you might repurpose an old garment into something new, like you would deconstruct your Astroworld t-shirt, and then you would have your mom sew that on to a pair of Adidas track pants, for example, and then wait for the pussy to come in. exactly yeah you just wait for it it's like the waves rolling in i would actually probably take my astral world merch and repurpose it into something a little more you know like a tote bag like a standalone or maybe a pair of basketball shorts god damn it i don't know how good your mom is at sewing you know what i mean but she's very good she's very good but she sadly Not a big Travis fan. I was about to say. She's not willing to get her hands dirty in a rodeo mess. She'd be like, Jason, we are not Cactus Jack Hive in this household. No, no, no. She knows. She's like, I remember just from seeing your tweets and listening to your pod that the Stewart family is not Rodeo Hive. It's not Cactus Hours. She'd be right about that. I've never liked Travis Scott.

I think the song with Drake that's basically a Drake song is maybe greatest of all time for him. I agree. It's not for me. It's not for me. He's gotten better and I admire his hard work and ethic. I think that's impressive and commendable. He did get a Jenner pregnant, which I also love. That is hard work. What's the name of their kid? stormy right right right stormy you don't like that no it's fucked up stormy is a girl right not a guy uh yeah yeah i i don't love the name but i mean all the card all the names they got over there are fucked up you know why can't people just have a regular ass name dog well as as to Guys with regular-ass names, I feel special in other ways, which I think is the greatest benefit of having a regular-ass name. I think we need to normalize plain Jane names. Just plain Jane lifestyle in general. I've been on the front lines of plain Jane lifestyle, Jason, since day one. I'm an influencer. People can't just get a nice car. They have to get a nice car and then... wrap it in a color that is just nasty and put some dumbass nasty rims on it etc etc last night i was driving home behind a matte black tesla truck the tesla like suv and i was like this look like you can't do that to that car you buy that car because it's like eco like you don't wrap it look matt getting getting that car i think that's the the which model is that the i don't know I don't know. That SUV that has the butterfly doors on the back. Yes. And it's not peanut butter on the inside, unfortunately. It's not. But I've seen, you know, living in Glendale, I've seen so many of those, that exact car with a wrap that is way more offensive than a simple matte black. A simple matte black would be a palate cleanser compared to the fucked up shit I've seen. I find the matte black to be more offensive because they think it's so tasteful.

But, you know, that's just me. Yeah, I asked for some questions on Twitter. I have not read them yet, but we'll get to them later on if there's anything in there. So if you're listening, trying to hope that we answer your question, we probably won't. Yeah, you guys got to try harder, bro. These questions are bunk. It's hard, man. It's not that easy to ask questions. I just did a different podcast, like a new podcast concept that I'm working on. Bitch, what? You didn't talk to me about this? You saw the deck. You loved the deck. I got first right of refusal on any Jason Stewart podcast project, so I'll talk to my lawyer. We can talk buyouts if you want. I'll talk to my lawyer about that. Continue. But it was the first time. in a long time or slash ever where I truly prepared a comprehensive set of questions that I thought would lead to other things and stuff like that. It's just not something that most people are good at or do. And it's also an art that isn't really... that lucrative i guess financially i mean like the the best interviewers in the world are gonna be like i you know interview magazine paid me it's 300 to talk to freaking lana del rey or something you know well the you know i was talking to uh sternberg about this the other night and he was talking about scotty because he you know he went on the the the excellent brayson ellis podcast and have you listened to it oh i used to listen to it all the time but then he went patreon i kind of gave up um but i listened to scott's episode and scott said it was the craziest research he'd ever he was like it was insane you mean like the amount of like questions that were prepared for him yes he was like it was the most comprehensive and most prepared interview i've ever done in my career but in a good way or a bad way yeah he loved it he said it was amazing he would like have quotes that he had pulled from old interviews like he said it was it was uh it was interesting damn i mean i guess brett might be a good writer after all who knows i i i mean i stan of course um but i was i i mean i've listened to that show a lot and i what i liked about it

The first thing I like about it is he does a written monologue intro, which I feel like really works for him. Is this a weekly show? I don't even know how much he does it now. I'm pretty out of touch. But he does this monologue. I think it's kind of whatever he feels like at this point. But he does this monologue that I think is a cool way. For someone like that who's a professional writer, it makes sense for him to do that. Interesting. Coming out the gate with Amani. Guys, blazing. We, yeah, I feel like lately in the last, you know, in the last week or so, the whatever has been going on, like the quarantine, like spring break, summer break kind of feeling that has been going on for the last, you know, since quarantine happened, I think it's starting to go away for me. and i i can feel um i can feel like regular life is starting to creep back and i don't really like it well why not bitch that's what we're trying to do the whole time what you mean you don't like it i know well i mean i've just gotten i've gotten used to whatever you know alterations i've had to make to my life in the last few months and i grew maybe i mean it could be a little stockholm syndrome vibe but you know like I feel like I've been in San Quentin and my release date's coming out and I don't know if I'm ready to leave. Well, I'll give you your shoelaces back and you got to get back out there, bro. I don't know what to tell you. This is where we're at, bro. I mean, I understand what you're saying. I mean, I guess I don't feel like that necessarily because I've just been on fucking, you know, a little bit of a weird tour the whole time, you know? Yeah. I mean, I feel like maybe a lot of it is everyone was just, Or maybe me, myself personally, I was using the quarantine and everything as an excuse of just putting everything on hold or procrastinating or being like, what's the point of trying to figure out how to conduct business or live your life if everything is just going to go back to normal in a few months? But I think the collective attitude of the world is kind of like, well, this is...

We're just going to have to get back to work somehow. At least for the people who were not affected by this. Because a lot of people still have their lives and their jobs and not much has changed other than them doing it at home versus in an office. I would agree with you. I just don't know if any of this is good or bad. You know what I mean? Yeah, I know what you mean. Um, it's, I feel like, like the, this is the last week of summer kind of that, that energy, which is a feeling that I haven't really felt in my adult life at all. Like I haven't felt that feeling since I was a kid or since I was in school. But like once you're an adult and you're kind of out in the, in the real world and you're a member of the workforce, whatever that is. Well, yeah. Since you're not, it's interesting that you say that. But yeah, continue. No, I know what you mean. Holidays, you don't really care about holidays that much. And this has been a very long holiday. And I fucked around and caught feelings for it. And now my life is going to go. I feel like next week the party is over. It's not a party, but me just like I'm. I'm going to focus on my yard work. I feel like that's out. Why is next week this date you've pulled out of your ass? I don't know. That's kind of what has been puzzling me. I feel like this is, for whatever reason, this is my last week. I think a lot of it is my... Because whatever I've been doing didn't really stop. I've been working on stuff and we've been doing the podcast and been staying busy with a lot of work stuff. But this week is when... My girlfriend's email started picking up and work and jobs started coming back in. And I think that was probably a lot of it like, oh, damn, we're going back. We're going back to normal. Well, I, for one, couldn't feel more different than you. And also, you know, you and I are known needers of alone time. And it's been so long that I kind of, you know, don't really need it anymore.

you think you've you think you've phased out of alone time i think i may have phased out of alone time kind of like you know when when smokers say they they just straight up don't feel the need for that sig anymore and i'm like what are you talking about bro that's pretty that's that's actually pretty crazy man i feel like that's like it's really it only took like three or four months to undo a lifelong like issue or i mean not the issue in a negative way but just like something that was you know part of your life yeah i mean you could i mean there are negative and positive parts about it but like it can't you know craving or needing that alone time is instead and then being able to get it or figuring out a way to get it you know much like a drug or whatever versus having that option completely removed from from from your life it it ended up making a weird difference and now whenever i do get alone time it's just it doesn't really hit anymore maybe because i figured out You know, I think it's like usually a source of like anxiety relief or depression relief or whatever to want to kind of retreat and recharge also a Virgo trait. But I feel like I don't, you know, once I get the alone time, I'm just kind of like, well, I guess this is it, whatever. I don't really need it that much. Damn. So after you hit the bong, jerk off twice and watch, you know, an episode of Love on Netflix, you're out of stuff. Yeah, that's true. I mean, that's exactly what I do. I do think that that's probably good that you were able to adapt. And I mean, I don't think the need for alone time is necessarily negative. I don't think so either. And I think it's more of like finding healthy ways to get that alone time versus less healthy ways, which would be like canceling plans. saying no to hanging out with your friends, you know, et cetera, et cetera, in exchange for, you know, the sweet pleasure of being able to just sit and not have to talk to anyone and not have anyone talk to you. I mean, I think this is just more TJ growth that we honestly love to see. TJ is growing.

But, bitch, summer is over. It's time to get to that little bag. You know what I'm saying? Yeah, yeah, yeah. So, yeah, I kind of feel like giving myself a little send-off last hurrah. And I don't know if that's going to happen this weekend. We did that yesterday. I'm a little upset, actually, at you. And I had a little bone to pick. I'm glad that you said it for the potty. Oh, this is huge for me, personally. This episode of How I'm Gone is brought to you by TaskRabbit. Oh, baby, let me tell you something. This is not a joke. I use TaskRabbit a lot because I can't do anything. You need some art hung? TaskRabbit. You need something put together? A cabinet? Got to reach that cheese grater on the top shelf? TaskRabbit. Anything you need, TaskRabbit can take care of it for you. How it works, TaskRabbit connects you with skilled taskers in your area. They can help you move. They can assemble furniture, repairs, yard work, mounting, and more. You can search for a tasker based on cost, skill set, availability, and past client reviews so you know exactly who's showing up and can have confidence that they know what they're doing because taskers have assembled over 3.4 million pieces of furniture, completed 700,000 home repairs. handled 1.5 million moves, and the numbers are just going up, Jason. Yeah, throw a little money at the problem. It's not so expensive. And that job that you really don't want to do is something that another person out in the world is very good at doing and would gladly do it in exchange for a little bit of money. So when life happens, your to-do list grows. Get ahead of it now and get $15 off your first task at TaskRabbit.com or grab the TaskRabbit app using promo code how long taskers book up faster, especially for same day tasks. So book trusted home help today. That is $15 off your first task using promo code how long with the TaskRabbit app or at TaskRabbit.com. This episode of How Long Gone is brought to you by Squarespace. Obviously, Jason, you and I spend a lot of time on the World Wide Web, sort of our peers, our listeners, our friends, our colleagues, maybe even your parents if they're freaky. And if you're doing anything in the world,

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That is Q-U-I-N-C-E dot com slash how long. That'll get you free shipping and 365 day returns. Quince punto com slash how long. Yes. Well, I'm willing to exploit all of my pain for, you know, a few extra dollars from the Romans ads. So I noticed on Instagram last night that you cooked yet another Detroit style pizza. Which I have requested be made for me, and I was left out of this pizza occasion. You know, that's funny that you bring this up, because my girlfriend was like, are you sure that you want to make this? I'm like, what are you talking about? And she's like, Chris has kind of been on my ass a little bit about the Detroit style, and I don't know if we should post it, because... I'm going to have to deal with that. It's not just a me problem anymore. It's starting to affect my family and loved ones. It's starting to affect my family. Which is really when you know you have a prob. I came through with that fire once again on Instagram stories. It made you feel some type of way. I understand that. She made me put some meat on it. Get your nose off the trail. That ain't going to stop me. I know that that shit can be made without meat. You think I'm a dumb animal or something? What the fuck? She's like, put a little mortadella on there. That's what you call winning by a technicality. I didn't want to come out that way. I saw you urban forage some squash blossoms, a classic vegetarian delicacy. You're picking up squash blossoms in a damn parking lot somewhere in Glendale, and then you pollute the pie with mortadella to try to throw CB off the trail? It was La Cañada, Flintridge. Shout-outs to my friend Du for the tip. She let me know where the wild, urban-foraged squash blossoms were living, and I went to go cob. How did it taste? I didn't even get a bite.

Well, you know, mistakes were made. This was an experiment. I tried to recreate kind of the wood fire pizza flavor by cooking it on the grill. But the smoky flavor of that ended up kind of overpowering the delicate squash blossom. So it's kind of the equivalent of getting a nice piece of sushi or whatever or sea urchin and then just pouring some ranch all over it. Just really negated the whole vibe. So you're saying it was – but, I mean, you ate it and it was good. It was just not what you were looking for. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It was still delish. Don't get it twisted, my friend. Bitch, if I don't get a Detroit-style pizza in the next 48 hours, delivered, actually. Bro, bro, bro. Delivered? Yeah, yeah, exactly. You got this Tesla. It's so good for the environment. Deliver that shit. TJ is not on Postmates yet, but I'll see if we can get the paperwork to go through. I need to holler at mine. No, I don't use Postmates because I'm a friend to the independent restaurant. I try to order direct when I can and pick it up so they get all the money. That's awesome. And you don't do that. That is actually... First of all, I only... No, because I do the same exact thing. And also, because restaurants will tell you that. They're like, hey, thank you so much for ordering this food, by the way. if you know we we have we we get paid less money because we got to pay out postmates for this shit so just order it straight online and also they have to raise the prices of their food yeah yeah just to you know to pay for all those fees i only order mcafe pickup and i get it myself so it's fine isn't that great Absolutely. It's great. I love to drive down the hill a little bit and just see my people, say what's up, and really connect with my local businesses. Known California boy, Chris, is just turning more and more by the day. I posted a fun... I thought your bone to pick with me was going to involve my hidden camera footage of you exiting sweet green wearing a mask.

And because I posted that, I didn't tag you because I knew you would see it. You watch all my fucking stories. Don't act like I'm a cuck for watching my co-host stories. I got a lot of comments of people being, you know, it was all of your friends back in New York like, damn, this is the most LA shit I've ever seen Chris do and that says a lot. And then other people were like, damn, you know. chris chris is wearing a mask for the culture which you know what does that mean that you would only wear a mask for the culture i'm wearing a mask because it's legally mandated by the state of california is that the culture i'm a part of i guess it is but i mean do you do you wear the mask with pride or do you wear the mask you know against against i mean nobody wants to wear a mask but well no i mean i wear it because it's the right thing to do so it's it's not it's not i don't the mask thing is not a very difficult decision also sweet green wasn't a very difficult decision because that's right no known sweet green influencer jason was pushing his agenda on me and it worked and it was literally you literally sounded like a television girl like hey chris let's check out this new sweet green menu it was literally it was literally that blatant Was I wrong? No, it hit pretty hard. The crispy rice shit was pretty flames. And their new selection of sides, fantastic. God damn it. They're not paying us. We have to stop. I don't get paid any money from Sweetgreen for talking about them. You didn't even have any cashew bucks in the account. You had to pay straight hard-earned American dollars. I did actually have some green points in there that I didn't know about. Thank God. And also a double-edged sword with my relationship with Sweetgreen. I can say the best. I can do an hour-long commercial talking about how amazing it is. I can talk shit on them for an hour and nobody who works there will ever know because they will never listen to this podcast. And anybody who would ever tell them that would never listen to this podcast either. So if you are one of the owners of Sweetgreen and you are listening to this right now.

blink blink twice just to know and also yeah let's share the cash you love bitch i want some bucks like let's go yeah now that now that you know the world is you know the workforce in the world is opening back up a little bit more you know obviously restaurant business is still completely fucked up even if you are a juggernaut like sweet green um uh follow at sweet green on instagram and twitter but you know But now that the world has not healed and nature has not gone back to anything at all, but maybe at least some advertising dollars and some budgets are going to start opening back up again. I feel like How Long Gone and Sweetgreen have a lot of brand synergies. Who can talk about the green the way we can? Who has come out adamantly against Chopped Hive? That's exactly right. I don't even fuck with Chopped on the Food Network anymore. That's how much I take this. Yeah, that's real hard body information right there. Damn, Jason on the front lines of these salad wars and he's not going to lose. That's where I'm at. That video was great and I think that was fine. I have no issue with going to Sweetgreen and being captured on film. Okay, good. Thank God that your bone to pick was only pizza related. Pick a day this week and I will wake up early and get to fermenting. Baby, don't worry. I had a big night out last night. America's favorite super spreader was out again. Out again for an essential meal. This was essential. I mean, look, man, when your young guns need a night on the town, even during these times, you have to find a socially distanced way to do that. And luckily, the good folks at the Sunset Tower Hotel have offered a socially distanced outdoor seating arrangement. And the listenership is dying for a scene report. Well, it was, you know, we were facing the, the tables are out by the pool now, facing beautiful.

beautiful Los Angeles, you know, for the sunset. You got a great view of the city, all the, all the less wealthy people below. Exactly. Which is how I like to feel when I'm paying $50 for a piece of salmon. Um, so, so that's like being, you know, looking, looking across the river into Brooklyn, perhaps. I try not to ever look into Brooklyn, but yeah, idea wise. Yeah, that would be, that would be, that would be, why would I want to look into a trash can when I could look into, you know, you avert your gaze at all costs. Yes, exactly. I don't want to burn my retinas. Mikey and Tim and I went last night. These two bozos both showed up in blazers, which is pretty sick. Six o'clock in LA right now, it'll come down to 82 degrees by then. Exactly. We were sitting on the porch. Tim ordered an Arnold Palmer. Mikey ordered a Coca-Cola Classic and I had a bottle of sparkling water. Three sober kings for all different reasons. You got a straight edge guy, you got a person in sober recovery, and you have a person who I guess just doesn't really like drinking that much. Well, Mikey is blasting cigs now, so he's left the Edgemen. That's so cool. They should have a new classification for straight-edge people who also choose to smoke cigs. I agree. I agree. Also, Marlboro Lights, because I told him that's the Olsen twins smoke, so that's good. So he came with Pac? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, shit. damn that's like when people say like oh i mean i do coke but i don't buy it exactly if it's around so he copped his his first ball he copped the pacquiao and uh you know there's no smoking allowed obviously except but we we ran we ran into some friends um it was just a big it was it was just a nice night to be out in the city you know and surprisingly was it busy no it wasn't busy i mean it was like it didn't look very busy on the gram

I mean, to be honest, there's not that many tables because they can't. But the most interesting part was the amount of traffic on Sunset Boulevard on a Saturday night when there's nowhere to go really was kind of more than I would have expected. So was it kind of like a sideshow vibe? Like people are just kind of cruising? That might be it. I know you asked me this via text, but I can answer it on the podcast. Yes, Saddle Ranch is open. It's outdoor only. You're not able to ride the bull. In my opinion, why go? That's just something I wanted to tell you. Not able to ride the bull. What's the point? That's like going to Chipotle when they're out of sour cream. Exactly. We had a nice, pleasant night. I was home by 9 p.m. That's great. And you guys just kind of had your normal destructive conversation, I'm assuming? Totally, yeah, absolutely. Definitely the norm. On the Sunset Tower menu, did they start crediting who invented the recipes on all the dishes on the menu? Sadly not. But it hasn't made it that far on Sunset. No, but I think that's where we're going, Jason. If I walk into a restaurant, I mean, you know, Sunset Tower, to me, those are just kind of hotel classics. I don't think, you know, but at a restaurant, let's maybe, I mean, just pulling this out of the air, but somewhere like Squirrel, maybe, for example. Oh, yeah, that's a good spot. Like a Los Angeles restaurant that's very popular. And I would say, I mean, known for their just inventive breakfast-leaning dishes. Yeah, I think that's a good example. A lot of our listeners are probably familiar with that spot. I would like to see, yeah, I would like to see almost like a school paper, you know, where the margins are filled with the sources. Every specific dish deserves its own masthead is what you're saying. Well, I need to know, first of all, I need to know where every ingredient is from, obviously. What farm, et cetera. Maybe even a delivery date would be helpful just to be able to understand freshness. And then creatively, yeah, I would like to know every hand, finger, thumb, and eyeball and brain cell that went into creating some rice with an egg on it.

I mean, there was that article that was written in Eater about that. A friend of mine wrote it. I have not read it because 5,000 words is just, come on, bro. But I think once you, and also the people who worked at Squirrel who were complaining about not getting credit for the recipes, I do know them and they are good chefs. So I can't really say too much shit, but I feel like when you work for a restaurant and you work for a person or you work for a team or you work for a newspaper or a magazine or whatever it is, those ideas that you come up with under that umbrella that is paying you a salary, whether or not you come up with these ideas or not, I guess it's kind of fair to say it is their property to own it. I mean, I just think this is – look, if you've got a problem with that, congratulations. Go back 100 years and let's do our best. But that's like just – that is involved in every industry that I can think of. Yeah, that's kind of what I was getting at is like when you – for you and I, we do work with creative agencies and things like that in that world. And whenever you sign paperwork or contract for that – It is pretty clearly stated that whatever ideas you come up with, while we're paying you, that is our shit. And you sign a contract saying that. And I think it's maybe more about the restaurant world and how it kind of flies fast and loose with that type of stuff. It really does need to have some more regulation or at least an understanding of what is really going on. Because if you are a salaried employee for... uh you know a company that creates things you know that shit is is the owners you know the whoever is paying you owns that well my thing is that okay so let's say they clearly state that and you have to sign a contract to work at some fucking restaurant most i bet a lot of people would still do it everyone would do it every single time that's what i'm saying so it's like so what do we complain about here guys like what what's really gonna what's really gonna happen from you

I think it's people complaining because they either don't have what it takes or they choose not to play the game to get to the point where your phone rings and somebody says, can we pay you money to make a cookbook? Can we pay you money to open a restaurant? Will you be on the cover of this magazine? And they don't want to have the conversation with themselves of like... You can't just get there because you're really good at something. You also have to be X, Y, and Z. This sounds like a classic, if you can't run with the big dog, stay on the porch situation. It's precisely what it is. That's the thing. The squirrel situation is a great example. You guys who fucking think you deserve or are basically saying my idea was stolen. Your life wasn't ruined, basically. Not ruined, but you know what I mean. Being the face of something puts you in a very different position, and having the stomach and the wherewithal for that is a job separately, whether you like that or not. That's just the reality. Like you said, it's not just about being good. There's a lot of people who are good at stuff that aren't famous or well-known for it because they're not interested or are unable to play the game of being a brand. They either choose not to play the game or I think more often than not, don't even know what the game is that has to be played in order to get there. They can judge from the sidelines. They can talk shit from outside the club, but they don't even know. They can't even get in. They don't know what Virgil had to do to get to wherever Virgil is at right now. And a majority of it does not involve being good at making clothes. Yeah. Like, you know, if you got to dip and dodge and finesse, and you know what I mean? I don't think that is – I just don't think that dip and dodge and finesse and having an ego is –

the same as like stealing something when the system is set up that way. Now, if you think the system is so fucked up and blah, blah, blah, that's fine. And good luck to you. Um, but I just don't think that, I think that I've been in those situations and I went, I live to tell the story. It's fine. You know? And if you, I say this all the time, I said this on Twitter. First of all, if you really got heat, you're going to be fine. Like if you can't handle one idea or two ideas getting used by someone else in a situation where you knew that was going to happen, then you ain't good enough. Second of all, the people who know, know who's doing what. Like the people that really cut checks know who's doing what. And if you're under the impression that any chef does everything alone or any designer does it all alone, you're an idiot. Like there's a team behind everyone and those ideas can be collective. you're getting paid for your work. It's not like you're giving it away for free. Yeah, I saw your tweet about that, and I agree with that 100%. Those who know, know. There will always be the shitty gatekeepers and the good gatekeepers, and the good ones will recognize who is really doing the work and hopefully help. help them up and pay it forward and give them opportunities they deserve. And I'm not, I'm not saying it's fair. You know what I mean? That's not what we're talking. You know what I mean? It's just, that's kind of the way, the way it is. But it's interesting because the conversation about squirrel started as mold and now turned into this, you know, huge thing about, I mean, the restaurant business is just so boring to me and the way that they fucking navel gaze. I mean, I guess every industry does this, but it's like, it's truly unbelievable how self-important. people are it's crazy to me it is it is boring um but it's also you know people love to talk about it because it's one of those careers and jobs that everyone kind of fantasizes about like oh i i everyone thinks that they have the best ideas about food and their best opinions and if they had a restaurant it would be the best because they have the best taste blah blah blah so it's it's always something that people kind of romanticize about so they're always going to be fascinated by it

I mean, sure. Yeah, you can romanticize losing half a million dollars on a restaurant since like 80% of them fail. Like, good luck. Yeah. But I think that the, you know, culture of restaurants, and again, I'm no expert, but the yelling and screaming and all that stuff that goes on is like, yeah, who wants to be yelled at? Like, I don't, of course, that sucks. But also like, That is so well known. So if you choose to do this for a living, why would you think you would be exempt from that just because it's wrong? That's what I don't understand. That part of it's romanticized too. You know what I mean? Absolutely. People want that. getting yelled at, sweating, doing coke, the whole thing. We're all fucking each other. It's all romanticized. But I guess now that's over. It's over because there were enough people who didn't like that or who were offended by that or hurt by that. It's the same thing. Like you were saying, it started with mold and then it turned into the whole other thing. And that parallel situation happens with every other thing of like... Bon Appetit, it started with one thing, and now here's 50 other situations. It just takes one nail to be pulled out of the coffin, and then everything runs out. It was a ticking time bomb. You were just waiting for someone to step forward and call bullshit one time, and then everyone comes out of the woodworks for their stories, and it's not about that anymore. food stuff is highly like race, you know, is such a big part of it because, you know, there's a lot of that discussion about stealing cuisines and that whole thing, which is very nuanced and not something I feel I don't know enough to talk about it. But I have had a lot of jobs and I have been yelled at before. And you know what? It's fine. I live to I live to talk about it. And I just don't know why that is. I don't know.

I think it's a generational thing where, you know, our parents' generation before them, like if you thought yelling was going on, just, you know, see what it was like in the 60s or 70s. Or like you thought, you know, sexual abuse or, you know, bad behavior in the office or workplace was bad now. Just imagine what that shit was like in the 80s or even 10 years ago. And it's the same thing. And we're experiencing that with. the current generation of people below us of being like you guys, you know, everyone thinks the generation after them is a bunch of pussies. But what I'm saying, but what my problem is, is that racism and sexual assault are two very different things than my boss is mean. That's the problem I'm having. Like when, when two things are clearly traumatic and terrible and they get grouped in with somebody being mean. Well, it's the perfect package deal because, you know, It's like, hey, my boss is mean. He's an asshole to me. I hate him. And then also, boom, look at this Tumblr pic from 10 years ago. Or all we needed was this one voicemail or whatever. And now we finally have him. It's kind of just like, you know, like getting a mob guy for tax evasion when you know he's done, you know, 20 crimes. Yeah, no, no, that's a good point. That's a good point. I just don't think that that. Which is also a cuck behavior. I just think that's the issue for me is that there's things that are truly wrong and just undeniable. There's no discussion. There's nothing to argue about. And there's stuff where it's like, really? Yeah. Getting yelled at is part of life. Having a bad day is part of life. I don't know. At least for me. I also think to what you were saying before of the people who – those who know, know. I think the same thing goes for people who would be considered to be aggressive or mean or intense bosses or whatever. People know that, okay, my boss is kind of a dick or she's an asshole to me, but goddammit if they aren't the best and I'm happy to be there and I understand why they do that and I'm okay with that and I know that they're not really trying to abuse me or hurt my feelings. That's just the way they conduct business. I think people have that understanding as well.

No, I would agree. I would agree. I mean, obviously, it's complicated. I just find that it's like I just don't know why everyone thinks they should be immune from everything. You know what I mean? It's kind of like, I don't know. Things happen. People aren't nice. That's the world we live in. Not everyone is nice or even respectful, which is unfortunate, but that's just the way the cookie crumbles. And they have found? they have found a way to get back at the people who aren't nice by using the collective power of the internet to take somebody down instead of facing them head on, being too scared to confront them or talk to them or whatever the situation may be, or just literally having no power to influence them either way. Yeah, and I think that if we're talking about power structures, that's another issue too, but I think if, you know... You're hired somewhere and there's a boss. That's just, I don't know. That's how it's going to be. That's not going to change. You know what I mean? Now, if we're talking about this stuff that's happening because of the color of your skin or because you're a woman or whatever, that's a problem. That's an issue. It's just my boss is mean to me and I don't like it, so I'm going to get them fired and their family is going to. you know, have to move out of their house because that's what I mean. It's like, is that really like where we're at? Like I, again, every case is very different, but I'm seeing, I feel like the, that a lot of stuff is just like this person was mean and I don't like it, you know, and we're going to have a new people's court where, where everyone decides. Um, all right, Chris, we have, I'm going to try to just skim through these Twitter questions and see if there's anything worth. Salad making tips at home. Salad making tips. Definitely get a salad spinner. That's my number one tip. We just go to hashtag sweet life and pick it up ourselves. Salad making tips at home. Get a big bowl. Dump your sweet green salad that has been untossed to preserve its freshness and quality. Always toss your salad in a bowl that is three times too big for the job because it'll be easier. You'll get better.

Even I know that. Even I know that. Chris knows that. But make sure you have a big-ass bowl, but honestly, make sure you get a salad spinner. Jason's advice for a salad, get a big-ass bowl. You know what I'm saying? Get a big-ass bowl. And then also, making your own dressings. Always make your own dressing, unless you buy the How Long Gone Salad Sauce album in store soon. But otherwise, never buy store-bought dressing. Just wait on it. It is coming. We're just waiting on getting shelf stability back from the lab, all that stuff. Well, I mean, I think that Whole Foods has put a pretty sizable order in, so we kind of had to change production schedules. You know how it is. Yeah. Thank God we're nimble enough to navigate that Bezos coming in at the 11th hour with that order. nightmares look like i kind of i was thinking about that when i saw the moldy um what's up adam how are you when i saw that picture of the moldy bucket of jam i was like this this kind of uh trumps anything that i've ever seen on kitchen nightmares hosted on ramsey fuck that i want john taffer coming in bar rescue the god i never watched bar rescue bar rescue one of the best shows on tv what is good about it i know a lot of people like it He's an absolute maniac who gets so mad about something that's not his problem that he looks like he's going to explode. He kind of reminds me of InfoWars Bro. He has some InfoWars Bro energy, but overall, I think at the end of the day, he's the guy who has the heart of gold. Whereas to me, Gordon Ramsay never really comes off like he actually cares. Yeah, which is kind of what I like about him. to be honest. I mean, I don't not like that, but I feel like for that to really work, you're supposed to have a little soft spot at the end when it works. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And I think he does a good job at faking that. But my favorite part about Gordon Ramsay is whenever he enters the kitchen and one of the chefs or cooks in there who already has their tail between their legs because they're about to get reamed, he always calls them big boy. Yeah, he does. Yeah, he does.

Come on then, big boy. Let's lift that bag of flour. The one thing I learned from watching, what was the Gordon Ramsay show before? I guess maybe that was it. Or the competition show was that he always had the Meg Beef Wellington, which is something that I'm like, I didn't really know what that was. And I also feel like no one actually eats that unless you're in a posh British hotel. That's not real food in 2020. Yeah, well, at least in America. I think in London, it obviously is consumed a lot more. But yeah, it's definitely kind of an antiquated dish. I've never made it. And I think a lot of people – it's a good – it's the perfect dish to make for a food competition show because – You never know if you've succeeded or not until it's all done. And then you cut that thing in half. Oh, I see. So a lot of those dishes are about the reveal. So it's like when you cut into your Game Boy and it's actually cake. I see what you're doing. It's exactly like that. And the same thing goes to when you're making a Game Boy cake or a Yeezy 350 cake. You don't know if that is a good-looking cake until it's too late, until you've stacked it, you've layered it, you've iced it, decorated it, all that shit. You've got to cut it in half, and then that's when it really goes down. Damn, I didn't even think about that. I mean, I should have realized it. The welly is very hard to pull off. You need a crunchy exterior, and then you need the inside to be perfectly medium-rare and pink. Good fucking luck, brother. It seems difficult. Difficulty level high. Next question, Funkhausen. Is it pronounced Gorgonzola or Gorgonzola? Is it with an O or an A? I don't know, but I'm more of a gone than a gone. Okay, wow. That was a dumb question, Funkhausen. Fuck you.

But I kind of like it because it's so dumb and that appeals to you more than me. But if it really was dumb, then I wouldn't have read it. You know I'm kidding, Funkhausen. Let's get those followers up to 37. Come on, dog. With companies like Malbon making waves in the golf industry, is tennis right for a street court brand from Adam? I think there are some. they're not good but there are some i mean i think it is of course but also like i it's it's interesting that it hasn't happened because it almost is happening like with golf even which is the lamest thing on earth oh yeah yeah yeah i mean not not just what malbin what he's talking about which i'm familiar with but like even palace doing like a kit for a professional you know what i mean and our bros bros in chicago whim golf yeah that's true my favorite for golf golf stuff they're doing it right No, it's very cool. Kind of like the jound of golf or something like that. I think you can make any sport seem cool. Maybe except baseball. That's tough. Maybe Adam is letting us know that the stage is set. The demand is there and we just need to supply it. Well, to me, Racket, the magazine and everything around it, is about as good as you're going to do. Tennis-wise, just from a... Do they have a clothing line now? No, they don't, but I'm saying I think they are the archetype for ushering in something a little cooler. They're the Popeye magazine of golf. Yeah. Well, it's more of an exploration of the culture and the personalities around it, which is obviously what makes anything interesting. You know what I mean? Not like hitting a ball over the net isn't that interesting. It's everything else around it that makes it, you know. Brother, I love this game. something to latch onto. But yes, I do think it's right for it. But you know, I mean, I also think that like, you know, Nike could just do it, but they just don't. It's not that good. They're not able to, they're not. And like the Nike tennis stuff, at least in my experience, isn't that readily available. Also, I don't want to take any money out of Oberg's mouth. You know what I'm saying? She's already, she's already there. Good point. Good point. Shout out to Oberg. Next question. Why do you guys like Converge instead of a band that's actually good like Integrity?

Tyler, come on, bro. Jason is a known Integrity fan. Also, whoever said we didn't like Integrity? Yeah, dumbass. Also, Converge rocks. Converge and Integrity are both great. And maybe you're just listening to Converge that's not old enough. All hardcore music after 2002 turned bad. Next question. What rackets are you guys using? I'm using a Yonix. I don't, you know, this is what I was, I don't want to, like, why are you guys asking us about tennis gear? What the fuck do we know? I think it's probably because we talk too much about tennis on this podcast. Yeah, but it's because it's a competitive way for us to hate each other. It's not about, it's not about like what we're, I used a Babalot. People might have a genuine fascination with it. Also, it's always fun to say the word Babalot. That's true. It's a Babalot pure strike, which I just happened to try and liked. That's what I bought. I didn't do too much research. It's a great looking racket. You got the pissy pink wrap on the grip. It's looking good. I was feeling creative at Racket Doctor and I reached for the breast cancer awareness over grip. That's fucking awesome. We all support in our own way. Finally, a good question from my dog, Casey. Which one of you would... Why is it vague? Which one of you would last longer on Survivor and why would it be TJ? That is a wonderful question. Survivor, of course, the famous television show where people have to survive on a desert island or some shit like that. Jason, we're familiar with Survivor. Okay, go ahead, please. We know what the premise of Survivor is. It's been on for like 36 seasons. Is Survivor still on television? Yeah, dude. Jeff Probst still hosting CBS. Fuck me. It's been so long that I don't even... There's been like 50 copycat shows for it now that I feel like Survivor doesn't even matter anymore. It's just been lapped by someone else. I actually think where we could really dominate together as co-hosts is the race one. The Amazing Race? The Amazing Race. You and I at Amazing Race could be some good television.

well i mean well i'm saying like why why does survivor matter and still exist anymore if there's like four different shows that are just like survivor except you have to be butt naked the whole time like because it's the og bitch we respect that we like the first you know what i mean but you would definitely win because i'm a total pussy who can't do anything wow i don't even have to make an argument no there's no argument i can't cook i don't like bugs i don't like the outdoors whereas i love bugs You seem like a bug daddy, actually, so I don't know. I mean, I know you're trying to kill mosquitoes, but that's Carolyn's fight, not yours, and I appreciate that. We all know my survival skills greatly outweigh yours. I don't know if I could even start a fire without a lighter. Did you have any experience as a youngster in the hills of Georgia learning any survival or camping or outdoor techniques? I went camping once when I was like small. Have you skinned any animals or anything like that? I was like, this is trash. I've definitely been deer hunting before and seen a deer be skinned. Really? You've been deer hunting? That I didn't see. Bitch, I'm from the South, boy. That's part of our culture. I was like 10 years old and obviously I didn't stick. I was like, this is fucking gross. Basically, all outdoor stuff I'm not interested in. I mean, a hike is fine because I know it's going to be over in a matter of hours. Were you ever in Boy Scouts or like a summer camp situation like that? I did do Boy Scouts up to a certain age. I don't remember any skills that we were actually taught from that. You didn't have an expertise or an area that you really thrived in for me. It was not tying. Well, I could sense that from your interest in BDSM, but I did not specialize in anything, unfortunately, and that's probably why I – I got my freak shit badge. Don't worry. Yeah, I don't – Jason would absolutely win, but that's a great question.

I feel great about it. There's way too many questions about tennis. More tennis commentary. I feel like we've talked about tennis too much for most people. Most people don't give a fuck about tennis. Maybe we have created a separate sub-genre that we need to tell our advertisers about. I'm not really sure what to say besides it's fun and good exercise and we do it a lot. There's not much else to say. I'm not trying to get on the tour. I'm trying to improve, but I'm also trying to have fun with my mates. You're the tennis version of a soul surfer. Yes, exactly. Are either of you a Vampire Weekend apologist? I know I am not. I know Chris is not an apologist, but just a straight-up fan, right? No, I'm not. I actually don't get it at all. Sorry, I'm just kidding. Well, I told you this. I went and saw them. That's right. with my friend Dylan, and it was actually like, I was like, oh, this is just like bad Paul Simon now. Like, I didn't really realize that's what it was fully. It's like fake world music, you know? Yeah. It's like Grateful Dead meets Columbia meets fake world music. Maybe some of like the off hits from Talking Heads where it was just kind of like meandering world music, like you said. But I'm not like mad at it, though, because it's not like bad. It's just like I don't care. Yeah, I feel like Vampire Weekend is more of an aesthetic than a sound to me. It's all about, you know, it's equally important about the visual element and the energy and the spirit as the music itself, which is maybe, you know, it's kind of cool for rap music, but I don't know if it's enough to sustain, you know. Just rock and roll music or whatever. And it also, the people that like it, you can just tell who really listens to it. And those people usually, those are the type of people who will try to get their boss fired for being mean to them. Maybe listening to vampy. And also the phrase vampy weeks. Nothing makes a pussy dry up faster than hearing the phrase vampy weeks.

I do think he is cool, though. I like him. I think he's a smart, interesting guy. He's cool. I really like him. But it's a classic case of good guy, bad band. Damn. You can do a whole podcast about good guy, bad band. I think I had an old Vampire Weekend tweet. Do you remember when all those Drake tweets were happening where it was Drake is the type of person who... blank yes you know yeah yeah yeah and then i mine was drake is the type of person who gets out of his car to put the parking validation in the machine when he's leaving the parking garage but i remember having one for vampire weekend whereas vampire weekend is music for people who jump up and down when when they hear good news or something like something along the lines of that like they jump up and down when they when they get happy or get excited about something i know i know exactly the kind of person you're talking about and i think this is accurate you know while we're talking about music just quickly um on our drive from glendale to pasadena pick up that delicious sweet green i played i played some new tunes for you um it was kind of like my apple music show if you will yeah um done to death done to death radio um and Yeah, yeah. I'm C-Bro. C-Bro. Yeah, that's if you and Drake combined into one person visually, we would get a C-Bro scenario. I have better tats, but I'll leave it at that. Who doesn't? But I played you a new song that you really liked. Are we talking about the chicks? We're talking about the chicks, baby. We're not talking about the new Drake, which there were the two new Drake songs. One of them. where he sounds exactly like The Weeknd and then the other one with Popstar, which I did like. Popstar I like more only because of the David Foster line and how cool that is. But let's focus on the chicks, TJ. Yeah, I was really listening to that. I played it for my girlfriend. She did not like it. Well, you can't win them all. You can't win them all. But she would like some of the earlier offerings from...

The chicks back when they were named the real name. You know what I mean? The blank chicks. Yeah, the troubling blank chicks. Yeah, you know, she likes listening to a lot of Lilith Fair adjacent, you know, Alanis Morissette type of vibes. Big Cranberry's head, etc. I actually hate Alanis Morissette, but I love that entire, that as a genre. Yeah. what's what's uh man i feel like a woman what's her name i can't think of it right now shania twain yeah massive twain head um um but yeah the the chicks it's kind of it really sounded like i was saying if um you know they're kind of like doing their modern take you know a lot not a lot of bands have been able to really grow with the trends and the times and they're kind of like all right we're gonna do the carly ray or the taylor swift or that type of you know powerful strong female pop country whatever but really kind of do like a true master class of it they showed these little these little bitches whose boss is what they did they did and is there a market for it you know will i mean you know will be old Their fan base is in the 40s now. Gaslighter, the title track and single, is pretty undeniably good if you have ears and like music. That is debatable, I will say, to play devil's advocate. Maybe not music, but if you understand what a hit is and you can appreciate that, you know that that's what that is. It's pretty expertly crafted. The quality of a well-produced tune, mixed and mastered, and the vocal harmonies, the way they're all sitting, it is a powerhouse tune. I will agree. But, I mean, on that drive, we went from, I mean, you know, I ran the gamut for you of new music. We even had some of my friend Mike Skinner on there. We had new Mike Skinner. We had 5e04en. We had the Killers. We had the Chicks. It was. Your fave does not have the range, Jason. Yeah, listening, you know, cruising around Pasadena on a Saturday.

With the foreign blasting in a 2016 3 series, it felt powerful. I felt like I was in high school again. I was like, yeah, I'm going to turn it up when the freaking bad lyrics happen. Me and Jason were going to the movie theater parking lot to cop some bad mid. That's definitely what it felt like. Yeah, we were on a Reggie mission. The bad mid was sweet green, so we got it. If you're in LA area and you want to see the largest collection of social distance outdoor dining in all of Southern California, go to Pasadena. It was fucking crazy. It was honestly a motion picture. I guess I didn't realize how many restaurants there were there. They rolled out the red carpet for the restaurants over there in Pasadena to really just do whatevs. I don't think that anyone is enforcing anything at all really over there. It seems pretty loose. Luckily, there are not any good restaurants in Pasadena other than Sweetgreen, so we'll be fine. Wow. He's taking shots. I'll say it, bro. I'll say it. Damn. It's on site for any restaurant in Pasadena when TJ sees you. Nicholas asks, what, if any, podcasts do you two listen to? I haven't really been listening to that many pods lately. I got Chris into the Tim Dillon podcast, and he's been a fan. I listen to the Tim Dillon podcast, and I hate listening to the Brilliant Idiots, and that's about it. Damn, we've got to get you out of there. Actually, somebody asked this, but I do occasionally listen to Desert Island Discs if it's someone I'm interested in. You will pull up the Tom York episode. I will not pull up that fucking little Pinheads episode. I would listen to the Noel Gallagher episode, maybe. There were some really good ones, though. Yeah, Desert Island Discs is a BBC show where they have famous people on and then they play their whatever, like five or ten songs that they would bring with them if they were stranded on a desert island, right? It's albums, yeah. But I think that...

Somebody ask us that. I mean, the Tracy Eman one is really good. There's a Jeremy Deller one that's really good. But let's just do five, Jason. What would your five be? Bro, I cannot do that. I cannot do that. I mean, Kid A, of course. Oh, my God. Kid A, freaking the disintegration tapes, of course. The number one ambient joint in the game. Disintegration is an album by The Cure. Please don't disrespect it in that way. Yeah, The Cure is awesome. I like those guys. What else would be on there? The Smiths? The Queen is Dead? Oh, yeah. Maybe The Smiths. I might go Greatest Hits. You're not allowed to do that, though, are you? No. Fuck no. What are you? Damn, bro. You a DJ, bro. Smith's Greatest Hits has it all there. Which Chief Keef album is coming to the island? Ooh. God. I'm not joking. I know you love it that much. Yeah, I love Chief Keef. I would say he has so many fucking records is the problem. He releases like 10 a month. I might need to come back to you on that one. There really are so many. astral weeks astral weeks van morrison final finally rich i guess is probably p is the resistance but also you know the bang the bang series there's even some newer ones that are ridiculous that are fucking hilarious third eye blind self-titled obviously you know you wouldn't bring third eye blind fuck no of all time three eb bro third eye blind 1997. That shit had nine singles, fam. Okay. Yeah, great. So does fucking... I don't know. What is one of your country bands? So does Toby Keith. I would say... We were talking about integrity. I might throw in integrity. Humanity is the devil.

If you took integrity to a desert island, you would end up eating your own arm. Well, if you have five albums, you have to have music to chill to, music to jack off or have sex to. You have to have music to rage. If you want to fight someone or chop a tree down, you need to really let out some anger. You need a rage album. That's true. So you're saying Rage Against the Machine, you would take. That's sad. Obviously, I'm bringing the Little Women soundtrack. Boom. Any social distortion, maybe? It's for your K-Rock roots. Jesus Christ. Young Dolph and Keglock, Dumb and Dumber, unrated series. Of course. I'm going to bring the new money bag, yo, just to kind of level me out. For the Jack Off soundtrack, Eyes Wide Shut soundtrack, definitely going down. I might bring Rival Dealer by Burial, one of my favorites. Also, Experimental Jet Set, Trash, and No Star by Sonic Youth might be on there too. Wow, okay. Finally, Jason says something cool for the first time in the history of this podcast. Damn, I'm impressed. I would maybe bring Pavement in there for me. actually no teenage fan club for sure teenage fan club pavement is good but i don't know if it's top five dead or alive no teenage teenage fan club um i mean it's honestly all good but i think if i had to bring just a singular album it would probably be uh uh songs from northern britain even though most people like bandwagon ask more i'm a songs from northern britain head shout out to jay ellis damn if you're still listening to this podcast after what chris just said that's snoozy fest thank you you know you have you ever have you you're the kind of person who thinks nirvana is better than teenage fan club um yeah of course well you're wrong everyone listen to ween jason i do not listen to ween but a lot of a lot of real music heads fuck with ween i agree i i don't understand it but i i'm a lot of people love it i've said this before it's because you were doing the wrong drugs

You were doing coke when you should have been doing mushrooms. I think weed's more of like a speed kind of situation. I think ween is more. It's for people who have an absurdist streak in their body and you don't really have a whole ton of that. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. I'm a big absurdity head. Constantly loving to say absurd shit. I'm fascinated by it. You name it. Are you? Yeah. I didn't know that about you. Yeah, I fuck heavily with absurdity. Dumbest quarantine purchase, asks Colin. Ooh. Ooh, that's a good one. I mean... I don't know if I have one. I feel like I made pretty good. I finally got a Theragun, which has changed my life. I felt a little, it's not dumb, but I felt a little guilty slash dumb getting AirPod Pro when I already had perfectly good regular AirPods, but I don't really have any dumb ones at all other than that. Well, that's because the AirPod Pro is actually a less good product than the original, so I understand why you would feel some type of way. Yeah, I'm loving the fucking Pros, bro. I'd put my sound canceling all the way on, and then... go on a nice two, three-hour bike ride. Jason, honestly, that's unsafe. And as my co-host and possible money-making partner, I would really prefer you get some of that road noise in there to keep you grounded. Don't worry. I have eyes in the back of my head. Famous last words. No, you don't. Your goofy ass doesn't have anything extra. Bro, ask me how many times I've been hit by a car. The answer is zero. Book recommendations? You know, reading Ethan, dumbass. Actually, you know, I have been reading. I actually do read. Jason reads Reddit. It was a hot novel. It's mostly for the pictures, so I don't even know if you can count that. I can't think of the name of it right now. I'm more than halfway through. Such a fun age.

which was very well-reviewed, and I'm like 65% through and find it a little anticlimactic. But people seem to love it. By Kylie Reid. People seem to love it. Andre Leon Talley's memoir was great. What? You don't like that? No. What else you got? That's it for now. Yeah. I haven't. Oh, I actually revisited a book. that I read a long time ago called Healing Back Pain. I thought you were going to give us like a Dr. Seuss title. Green Eggs and Ham in 2020, it hits a lot differently. It is different. But yeah, if you experience a lot of back pain, there's a book called Healing Back Pain that my friend Anna Luno actually told me about because her husband a long time ago had some crazy back pain and read it. totally cured him but it's basically about the mind and body connection of a pain being uh emotional or anger trauma yeah we know you have a lot of weird you know um left field thoughts about pain nothing weird about it you know how much pain i'm in zero bitch because i have because you're too dumb to have feelings too dumb to have pain you're like doesn't that hurt you're like me no no No pain. You're like, wow, you just got hit by a car. I don't know. I am fascinated by that type of stuff. It is interesting to me. I'm pain-free, baby. Once I stopped doing kettlebells five days a week, all the pain went away. Who knew? Jason and I are going to do a kettlebell workout on Tuesday. Should we go on IG Live? I don't know if that's what you want to do, Chris. The thought of, I mean, we'll have to get the donation bar up. You know what I'm saying? You have a tripod for your phone, right? You're an influencer. I have a tripod. I have a ring light, even though we'll be outdoors. I have a GoPro that we can strap to your head for those kettlebell swings. Whatever you want, bro. I'm a full service house. Milk Studios has nothing on me. I love when Jason turns into the real AV squad. As long as it's gear that costs under $100, I have it at my disposal.

Oh, you want nice shit? No, we ain't got that here. We only got sub 100. Any content creation equipment that is available at a Walgreens or a CVS, I have it on fucking deck, bro. That should be our pitch to Netflix. We're going to make an entire show with content creation gear under $100 from a drugstore. Yeah, I mean, it feels like a chopped challenge already. It does. It's our version of Survivor for YouTubers. damn that's a good idea i'm gonna write that down do that bro i have to film this on a samsung are you fucking kidding me all right um there's two more questions that i have deemed good enough well actually no bird bird peterson old friend of mine he asked what the oldest record you own is which is a insightful question that i don't know the answer to so is bird peter is he british no he's he's a guy from texas but that's a sick that's a sick ass name Yeah, maybe for a lady. You like that name in the British sense for a lady more, I'm assuming. No, I like it for a man, too. I think it's cool. It is a good name, yeah. I might look around and call my kid Bird. Bird Peterson. People have called me Big Bird my whole life, so I have a little trauma attached to that. That's because they see the chest when that shirt comes off. We did a mask off tennis session yesterday, and somebody... referred to me as a bird-chested person. A joke was made of I might resemble a chicken wing if the meat was taken out and it was just the bone on the skin. I got to get my tan. I'm not saying, look, I didn't have my mask off, so what can I say? Look, I didn't want to say it. Last question from our friend Mikey. What restaurant closing would actually bum you out? That is a good question. I don't know. I think for me, it would be ultimate legacy ones that have stuck around forever. I would kind of agree. It has nothing to do with how much the...

i like the food or not it's more of just like like if if balthazar clothes that would feel crazy you know what i mean if if that what is the la version of balthazar like muso and franks or something yeah kind of but muso and franks is a little more of like a dark dinnery cocktail spot and balthazar no i know but i mean i don't mean like actual yeah I mean like level of like, oh, this is an icon that people eat at. Maybe like Beverly Hills Hotel. But locals still eat there, but also tourists go there. Yeah, I guess Musso is a good example of that. Yeah, I think something like that, like a Musso or I don't like the food at Cantor's, but if Cantor's closed, that would be more of like a damn, there goes the neighborhood type of thing. I think if Alfred coffee closed down, there would be, you, you, you thought there were a lot of fireworks last month. Alfred coffee is COVID dead ass. Like I can't believe I literally was jogging positive for Alfred coffee in the system. Remove from your life. That Alfred matcha, you tested positive. You got a quarantine. That ain't that's 14 days for having the Alfred cup in the trash can. I saw the little horns in your trash can. You're doing 14 days. When I was running on Saturday, it was pretty early. There was a line at Cookies, the weed dispensary, and a line at Alfred. I was like, damn, this is dark. LA is dark as hell. That's the only time that you've listed multiple businesses where Cookies was the coolest one out of the lot. Can you explain to me why? Is it just a branding thing? Yeah, I mean, it's just a weed dispensary. I guess similar to streetwear brands, cookies would be like the rip and dip or something like that of dispensaries just for the truly dumbassiest, dumbass people. So it's like, but can you buy merch and shit too? Or is it literally just like, we got the pack for cheap and rappers talk about it now? Yeah, I think I'm sure they have merch, but I think cookie...

I'm not positive, but I think they're known for having like an intense branding, like streetwear type of branding for each one of their strains. Whereas like a normal weed company would be like, here's our 10 different types of weed and each one, you know, looks the same, but the name is different. Yeah. This one, it's like every single strain has its own like full branding identity around it with like a weird ass name and different color stories and language around it. I can't wait till I text you. You tell me you're smacked off the hundreds. But the number, the one, I'm pretty sure it's cookies, but my favorite weed strain name of all time is Cheetah Piss. And that is cookies. Shit, that's fire. And also, if you Google Cheetah Piss, it is a cookies product. Don't worry. TJ ain't never miss. TJ ain't never miss. The artwork is sort of like a weird collage. I mean, it looks like they took a collage of the different insignias from the dollar bill and then have a cheetah head on it. And then the word is written out in ransom letters style. It has a little Sex Pistols-y kind of vibe. It sounds a little bit Sex Pistols, a little bit like Illuminati. Yeah, there's strong Illuminati energy. And it also looks like the artwork of a Madonna album from 2003. Awesome. Design that time forgot. I love to mix my weed branding with Freemasons and Madonna past peak. Sure. Cheetah piss, of course, is reminiscent of the old school classic cat piss. It's sort of been reimagined by the good folks at cookies. What's an eighth of cheetah piss costing? Can you see prices? Great question, bro. I think we should also go... Well, I think we should go to Cookies and You Buy Cheetah Piss and we get that on IG Live too. More importantly, there is an artist named Jay Too Cold from the album Worth the Weight and he has a song called Cheetah Piss and it has to be named after this strain of weed. 100%. The artwork for his mixtape Worth the Weight features a person wearing a Backwoods branded ski mask. Shit. You know what? I'm going to have to put this.

song sight unseen whatever this whatever this song is i know that that j2 cold's legal team will not come from me or or spotify um damn he's a verified artist on spotify and he has four monthly listeners all right wow we gotta talk to the heads of spotify about that we're coming for you bro um so yeah that's what i would so yeah long story short canters no or or langers i guess Okay, wow. I forget that you're such a deli daddy. These are just restaurants that have been there for a hundred years or whatever. See, I feel like the Beverly Hills Hotel coffee shop is out of the running because it's in a hotel. But I would agree like a Cantor's or Musso and Frank came to mind, but also Matsuhisa maybe or like original Nobu, bro. no i mean mr chow beverly hills fan have we been to mr we've been to mr chow's beverly hills together right yeah i believe we even got martinis oh you're right that was a long time ago damn bro we've been friends for a long time you know back when back when can you yeah to our listeners at home can you imagine a time when chris black would enjoy a 6 p.m sunday martini We used to do that at Cantor's too sometimes. Or we only did it once maybe? No, we did have a Cantor's standing girls night where we would split a piece of coffee cake and drink martinis. I forgot about that. And that's where the real tea was spilled. Damn, that's fire. Once you get too many martinis in you and you really start letting it spray. I mean... I do. I mean, martinis are excellent. I feel like that's one of the only respectable drinks you can order. I might fuck around and pour up today. Damn, you make it home? Yeah, why not? It's very easy to make. You just need two ingredients and ice, man. I know, but I didn't know if you, you know, since you only keep Tito's on deck, I didn't know if that was good enough. No, there is Tito's on deck. Tito's is fine.

What are you going to do? I think the listeners at home would be surprised to know that you don't really have a serious bar set up in the house. Yeah, I don't drink at home hardly ever. I guess that's true. Except for having a little wine. If I'm going to have a special meal. Then that would pair well with wine. Then I'll cop the wine. Jason, let me know what wine would pair best with a Detroit-style pizza. Name a day this week and we will get it popping. I will even let you pick the toppings. Oh, man. Maybe I could go somewhere and get special toppings, like really high-end. Yeah, pull up a cookbook and see if the fucking fava beans are sprouting or whatever shit you want to put on there. I'm going to pull up a cookbook with the app open the way I do at Domain with your shit telling me what to buy. Yeah, so you guys got tomatoes here? Yes, sir. We have tomatoes. The line is back there. Get behind these 15 other white people, sir, okay, please? Where are these kumquats from? No, no, thank you. No, thank you. He didn't specifically say a region, so I'm going to ask myself. All right, Chris. Well, now's the time that our pod is done. Great job. Of course, if you're listening this far. You start to hear the beginnings of Cheetah Piss by J2Cold trickling into the background. Follow J2Cold on Instagram, Twitter, Spotify, Tidal, and Apple Music. He is reeking of that loud, and he needs your support. You could follow me at them jeans on social media. And you can follow Chris. Go ahead. You know where to find me. We'll be back with some guests in just a few days. Yeah, great guests coming up later this week. Don't want to jinx it, but I'm very excited about it. I love when you're excited, TJ. Same. All right, guys. We will. Later. Bye. Bye.

I got shit to lose. The only reason people listen to your shit is cause you lose.