415. - Carla Lalli Music

All right, this episode of How Long Gone is brought to you by Stateside with Kai and Carter, a new podcast from The Guardian. And they are using this podcast to slow down the news and wrestle with the questions that we all have about what's happening in the world. And they do it three times a week, Jason. Does that sound familiar to you? We don't really talk about, you know, a lot of international global news items and climates and cultures and sports and things like that. We do talk about fashion and wellness, but for everything else, Kai and Carter are a great place. All right, so who couldn't use more news? Listen wherever you get your podcast. or watch on YouTube. How long gone is here? Friday, TGIF, guys, and have we got a great episode for you. Actually, we don't know yet. It just started. It could be bad. Tim Jeans is here. Chris, what's up? Hey, man. No episode is bad if you and I are here together talking. I'm sure the listeners would agree. It's a beautiful day in New York City, a crisp fall. The sun is shining. Just before we got on the show, I was listening to... Another podcast, the only one I listened to, the Joe Budden Podcast. Oh, okay. Joe Budden Podcast. The JBP was talking about the drama between Vogue and rapper Drake and 21 Savage. Joe Budden attempted to pronounce Condé Nast. And it was something, I can't even, I want to imitate it, but I would fail miserably. Okay. so twisted and so far from correct that it was almost inspiring to be that wrong. You know what I mean? It was just so... And he had no shame. Like, he was trying to swag it out. Like, I don't know, this dumb white people shit kind of vibe. Right, right, right, right, right. It's like when you're, Jason, it's like when you're going to Paris, you know, maybe you need to learn how to say some of the fashion designer's names. You can just go on YouTube and somebody will tell you how to say it all, you know. I'm a little surprised that he's been living in New York his whole life.

New Jersey, but sure. He's a media mogul. Never in his life had he ever heard the phrase or the name Condé Nast. Now I wish that I had heard it so I could attempt to mimic it. I know that impressions are not your strong suit, but at least the word Nast. I know, you think they'd be familiar with... Was he able to wrangle the word nast, or did he fuck that up as well? I think because of his relationship with ASAP Nast, he might have been able to kind of grasp that. That's where my head was gone. Because he is a fashion killer, and Joe Budden is also a fashion killer. But I think... I think he wasn't there mentally maybe when he was glancing at the screen and reading other words. But no, he wasn't able to grasp either word. And I don't think, look, Conde as a word I don't think would give me problems. I can't. I mean, I can't even think to a time where I wasn't familiar with that. So it's hard for me to kind of think about trying to mispronounce it. I have an idea, you know, because I feel like this story might not be going away. And, you know, obviously Condé Nast, it's a juggernaut in the media world and will probably never go away. No. You know, regardless of how profitable or not profitable it is, it's one of those, you know, too big to fail things. So I think that Joe is going to have to really figure out a way to get his head around this because it won't be the first time and the last time that he needs to say it. So maybe he should make like a shorthand version, you know, like Kanye West turned his name to Ye. Oh, okay. So Kande West can just call it... Day. I see. So he could short form it and try to swag it out. So not only would he not pronounce it, but he would put his own little flavor on it. He would pump it up, as they say. Yeah, like when people use word association to remember things. Oh, okay, okay, okay. He sees a photo of Anna Wintour and he just goes, day. That's day. And then he'll remember it. That's day. Yeah, that could be.

This is a good idea because I wonder if Joe Budden, and I don't mean this in any sort of negative way, but he might have some, you know. Developmental disorders? Yeah, yeah. I don't think it's maybe. Maybe it's something that's gone undiagnosed up until now, but maybe how long gone. I think if Joe Budden would finally. uh tap in with us on how long gone we could probably diagnose any and all of his problems mental or otherwise yeah just from a podcaster on podcaster standpoint we're basically doctors at this yeah we could increase his iq by i don't know i will say it's a two-digit number it's not a one-digit number his tennis iq will go up as well i'm sure that's a big issue for him as well yeah well i mean i think I think we have a lot to learn about different blocks in New Jersey where people like us are welcome or not welcome that we could learn from him. Like you said, I think we could impart our kind of wisdom as well. It would be kind of a learning session that the listeners could experience as well, which seems like a win-win for both parties. My calls are going unanswered. If anyone listening, any powerful media elite, people who have claimed to be our agents or representatives, these fucking agencies or whatever. Get Budden on the phone for us, for Christ's sake. I mean, look, I think Budden's probably in a similar place to us where he's like, bro, I do this shit for a living. Like, I don't really want to do another podcast. But I think that he could expand his audience. He's the number one urban podcast. We're the number one white podcast for people that live in Brooklyn. And I think that he could use... Some of that, you know, these people might play pump it up at their wedding upstate, but that's all they know about Joe. But it's like when Hari Neff did agree to do our podcast. She was like, yeah, I'm I didn't even promote this show at all because like I don't need any more of my fans. Like I'm doing this because you guys have an untapped market of guys named Bryce who have disposable incomes and are party buys.

I'm in the business of getting more new fans. They might dick me down or buy a ticket to see the Barbie movie. Either way, it's a win for me. I think that's a good way to look at it. I haven't checked out the Joe Budden merch yet, but that's something we could get into in a later episode, I'm sure. Just to kind of help him with that as well, get some critiques, see if there'd be some crossover. Maybe a collab is in the works. Still developing. We spoke a little earlier today. You went to a... friends and family Australian dining experience last night in the beautiful neighborhood of West Hollywood, California. Is that correct, Jason? Yeah, that's all correct. There's an Australian bush-style cafe here called Great White. Not to be confused with flat white. Well, great white is what they call me when I hit my wetty three-pointer. But in this case, you're talking about... Actually, you know, I was dining with Chris Black. Sorry, I was dining with Chris Chang last night as well as Carolyn. I made some terrible joke. I was tasting... an effervescent of course of course petnat or something like that and i was like oh this this this too is a great white and chris chang made some joke about me being a great one of course yeah blah blah blah it's named after the the shack i'm assuming uh because their logo is a shark it's like a cafe that was in venice that i you'd have to go to every once in a while if you had to have a meeting with somebody who lived in Venice. Have you thought about sharing a nice wood-fired pizza while talking about crypto? Great White is the place for you over there in Venice. Just head on down. There's a valet. Honestly, it was pretty good. It's good. There's one in Larchmont, and I've been a couple times. The one in Larchmont is absolutely fucking popping all the time, and the food is totally good. Yeah, I was not sad to learn, but I was... surprised to learn that I couldn't really fault any of the food. All the food was pretty darn good, unfortunately. Did you get a little lit up? They have their own beer that has their logo on it. Did you try one of those? It's the white can with the shark. No, I think I had some of their proprietary wine blends, though. They're doing it all over there. Somebody must really have deep pockets. No, they're running a tight ship. They have an impressive operation over there. There was a lot of...

influencer people from west there's a lot of west hollywood types what the fuck do you mean by that jason just like whatever the california like you know you know when you see like the autumn autumn yeah christian christian christian girl autumn is what you're speaking about yeah it's like it's christian girl autumn but make it make it west hollywood so like it's somebody who's desperately trying to do christian girl autumn but they have to maintain their Los Angeles-based TikTok career or whatever. So you're saying it's after dark, it's dinner time, and chicks are wearing their aloe sets with golden goose and a hat? Full dresses, looks. coats, furry fuzzy hats, blonde extensions, highlights, lowlights, full beat makeup. It was like red carpet shit. Guys wearing cherry hoodies and all kinds of dumbass shit like that. Ladies, if he's wearing a cherry hoodie, you better walk the other way. That's all I'll say about that. Happy to see a friend of the show, Nate Rue from Sweetgreen and his lovely wife as well. We got to build, ran into all kinds of friends and family over there but i was i bet you did it was weird to be in west hollywood like without me right on melrose by by the byredo store the palace store oh it's oh it's there it's in that it's in the little hot shopping district it's across the street it's across the street from the byredo store oh i know what i know it's it's been under construction that's on my running route uh i i do that it's a pink building yeah that's been under construction for a while that's gonna They're going to print money right there. That'll make more money than the one on Larchmont, which is almost hard to fathom. They are going to absolutely print money. It's like an indoor-outdoor space. They got the wood fire oven. You know, everyone there is hot. Perfect. Everyone there is dumb. It's perfect. Next to Verve Coffee where everyone is not hot but definitely dumb. I went to one meeting at that Verve, and I think there were more dogs than humans there. Oh, that's 100% of fucking kennel over there. They got the outdoor kennel. People are allowed to sit there, but it's kind of like...

preferred dog seating if if you just you know somebody might say something a poof a pooch poof if you can find one but yeah there are no it's quite there are no chairs it's quite busy um before we uh introduce our guests today i do want to implore you great listeners to check out dj them jeans on the celebrity book club podcast with our friends steven and lily oh yeah i think it's it's quite funny and jason um gets into his mixology bag as a um so you listen to it No, I did not listen to it, no. I will absolutely not be listening to that, and I don't think you will ever listen to a podcast I appear on unless it's like you hear that I slander you. I don't know why else you would do that. We hear each other not. I've listened to some podcasts that you're a guest on when I'm particularly down bad, and I ran out of all my smart list episodes with President Joe Biden. Win reply all. When Reply All got canceled, you had to finally listen to an episode of me on Vansplain. Yeah, when I'm real down bad, I'll listen to Chris Black talk about Third Eye Blind. But no, you should listen to it. The marketing plan that they set around the episode was leaning a little sensational. Sure. They're good marketers. They are good marketers, but the episode was sort of painted as me sort of... Coming out? Coming out of the closet as a homosexual, yeah. Okay, well, in that case then, fellas, give it a listen. Our guest today, Carla Lally Music, is a chef, cookbook author, and of course a YouTube personality. She was the editor-at-large at Bon Appetit for quite a long time. And Jason pointed out to me today that the mother of two is putting up motherfucking plates in the gym on the deadlift. There's evidence of this. So I'm going to kind of talk to her about her form, see how loose her hammies are, if she's able to keep her feet flat. Because I think she looks like a deadlifting shoe remover. Oh, yeah. Which is, you know, I wear flat shoes, so I don't have to do that. But that is a pro move, which makes me think she's been in the lifting game for quite a while. And I'm not talking about putting the turkey in the oven. What brand flat shoe do you wear, Chris? I didn't know that you're a zero high. Nike makes one for lifting that is just like really flat. I mean, it's a noticeable difference. I don't think it's...

It's not like a professional weightlifting shoe that has the obnoxious strap over the toe. Yeah, yeah, okay. I was wondering if you were doing like the zero vibram sole. The zero drop. No, no, no. Hunter's a fan of those, and I think they're great, but I don't need that really. Yeah, we don't need that. We don't need that. You get a lot of your power. From the right parts of your legs to begin with? Well, you know, if you're doing certain lifts, yeah, Jason, the legs are kind of the most powerful muscle. The legs and glutes, of course, some of the body's biggest muscle. I'm trying to get those teardrop quads, you know, on the inside above the knee. I'm going to come. It's a journey. All right, let's give Carla a jingle. This episode of How Long Gone is brought to you by Squarespace. Obviously, Jason, you and I spend a lot of time on the World Wide Web, so do our peers, our listeners, our friends, our colleagues, maybe even your parents if they're freaky. And if you're doing anything in the world, writing, taking pictures. I do topless boxing. You need a website. Exactly, a website that works, that does what it's supposed to do, that allows you to be creative but also business-minded. Jason, there's one place to go for that, Squarespace. Yeah, Chris, I'm over here. I'm modifying calculators and putting Claude inside of them so you could cheat at school. And I just want a place where I could, you know, have everything all in one place. I can have the SEO tools so those future graduates can find me. And, you know, I'm able to accept, quote, unquote, donations for my services that might be gray area. You know what I mean? And then email campaigns. Hey, I got a new 2.3 version upgrade. Boom, boom, boom. Get the analytics going. Raise some money. Show your investor all of your cool analytics of what's going on. They're going to want to get in early. And we can use Blueprint AI to make your website look as professional as your competition, if not more. So head to squarespace.com slash howlong for a free trial. When you're ready to launch, use offer code howlong to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or a domain. All right, this episode of How Long Gone is brought to you by Quince. Jason, the temps are warming up. It's getting hot out there. Summer always changes how I get dressed. I need pieces that feel lighter, more breathable.

And they're just easy but still put together. I don't want to look like a slob. That's why I keep coming back to Quince. They focus on high-quality essentials that feel and look amazing. Breathable linen and soft organic cottons. Well-made basics but without the luxury markups. That rare balance where everything feels elevated. but still effortless. Yeah, Chris, linen season is here. I wore a linen blazer to dinner a few nights ago in the warm California sun. But, you know, you got that Italy trip coming up this summer and quality European linen pants and shirts. Upgrade that look starting at just $34. You know, if you get a nice linen suit, a little t-shirt underneath it, some chill shoes, you're looking good, but you're staying cool. The inside of your special areas are nice and dry as you turn up with your besties. So elevate that summer wardrobe. Go to quince.com slash how long for free shipping on your order and 365 day returns, even on a nice holiday now available in Canada. That is Q-U-I-N-C-E dot com slash how long. That'll get you free shipping and 365 day returns. Quince punto com slash how long. Oh, this is huge for me personally. This episode of How I'm Gone is brought to you by TaskRabbit. Oh, baby, let me tell you something. This is this is not a joke. I use TaskRabbit a lot because I can't do anything. You need some art hung? TaskRabbit. You need something put together? A cabinet? Got to reach that cheese grater on the top shelf? TaskRabbit. Anything you need, TaskRabbit can take care of it for you. How it works, TaskRabbit connects you with skilled taskers in your area. They can help you move. They can assemble furniture, repairs, yard work, mounting, and more. You can search for a Tasker based on cost, skill set, availability, and past client reviews so you know exactly who's showing up and can have confidence that they know what they're doing because Taskers have assembled over 3.4 million pieces of furniture, completed 700,000 home repairs, handled 1.5 million moves, and the numbers are just going up, Jason. Yeah, throw a little money at the problem. It's not so expensive, and that job that you really don't want to do is something that another person out in the world is very good at doing and would gladly do it.

in exchange for a little bit of money. So when life happens, your to-do list grows. Get ahead of it now and get $15 off your first task at TaskRabbit.com or grab the TaskRabbit app using promo code HowLongTaskersBookUp. faster, especially for same-day tasks. So book trusted home help today. That is $15 off your first task using promo code howlong with the TaskRabbit app or at TaskRabbit.com. You look like, so we have the video on today and this is the most, this may be the most Brooklyn background I've ever seen in my entire life. Okay. Is that accurate or am I wrong? I mean, I live in Brooklyn. Okay. That's what I was looking for. It just, it's, it's so perfectly appointed and like the wall color. It looks very, it looks very nice. It feels brown. It's giving brownstone. It is brownstone. That's right. Yes. I am seated in my brownstone. That is correct. Is there a fireplace behind you? It's non-working, but yeah. It's okay. If it's not working, it adds a lot of patina and flair to the space. So it kind of doesn't matter. Appreciate that. When we moved in, that fireplace was covered with like 17 different coats of paint, which is just like one of those things that you're like, what happened here? But this building was a single room occupancy, an SRO at one point. There were a million different locks on every door, and there's no actual doorknobs that turn. But yeah, we've been here a long time, so eventually we scraped the pan off. What shade of pistachio is that paint behind you? I think that's... Just like Sicilian pistachio. Oh, bravo. Wow. Thank you for going regional. You've got a little pistache going on. No, that's just the green light coming in from all the foliage in my neighborhood. But this is just a regular standard off-white color. Okay. So that was like an L.A. nod to all the foliage. Like you have citrus trees and avocado trees and like terribly boring people and like all of that.

Carla, have you ever tried, it's called a Meyer lemon. It's a little different, kind of sweeter. We have them here and they're so good. So good. I know. It's amazing. You just like walk outside and pick your own citrus. Jason's a known citrus stealer because of his height. He's able to reach. Are you going on record as an L.A. hater or is this just a playful game of tit for tat? I mean, it's weird because I was actually born in L.A. I was born at UCLA Hospital and lived there like. The first couple of years of my life and then again as like the four year old to a seven year old. But I very much consider myself a New Yorker. My parents are from the East Coast. And yeah, L.A. is not it's just not for me. And my whole all of my in-laws are in L.A. A lot of my friends have moved back to L.A. I mean, you could have just ended it as my in-laws are in L.A. That's why I don't like it. Yeah, right. There was a moment of time where my husband and I were thinking about moving. And that year, like every time we took a work trip, we would kind of, wherever we went, it was like, could I live here? Could I live here? Like Washington, D.C.? No, I can't live here. I went to L.A. a few times that year and was like, all right, could we do it? Could we do it? And I was just like, absolutely not. Damn. It's just not for me. You saw that line at Courage Bagels and said, we can't do it, babe. So those first couple years living in L.A., describe what that was like for you. I mean, I have very early memories of our big dog. We had a big dog. I remember riding a horse. My question was a joke because you were zero years old. Okay. Thank you for answering these. So do you have memories pre-two years old? I have memories, well, from when I was like three and a half or four, I remember. I remember our dog. I was from four to eight we lived there. So yeah, I had a best friend there. I had a dog at a pool. I had roller skates. So yeah, some patched together things. You're telling me you grew up with a pool and roller skates and you still hate?

LA? That's crazy, dude. I don't understand your bad attitude, to be honest. Check your privilege out the door, Carla. Yeah, for real. Yes, right. It's so true. Yeah, I'm willing to sell blood to have a pool. And roller skates, I bet. Roller skates, not for me. I was invited, actually, to a roller disco party this weekend. Yeah, there's a new roller rink conglomerate that is kind of taking over the nation. Is there really? It's owned by... It's owned by Liberty Ross, who is a former model who's married to Jimmy Iovine. Okay. And it's ushers involved. Some other celebrities are investors, ground floor types. And yeah, it's lit. There's one here. I think there's one in London. And I think there's... Sounds like an Onion article. So all the words that you've just said. Jimmy Iovine's wife and usher started a roller disco conglomerate. It's not a roller disco. I don't want to get specific. But it is a nice – it's a high-end rink. What happened to the good old days, Carla, when people just started their little jewelry line and kept quiet? You know what I mean? Yeah. Yeah, seriously. I am so sick of this shit. They're stepping on more of our jobs, you know? But, yeah, that's a real thing. And I can't remember the name of it right now, which is bad, but you've probably heard of it if you're on the Internet. I've been on the Internet, yeah. Do you follow Dr. Dre on Instagram? I don't – I can't tell. Do I? I feel like I should. You shouldn't. There's no real reason to. Yeah, I'm not interested in what the doctor is selling right now. The thing is, it doesn't matter who you follow on the Internet. No, I'm not following Dre. That's a crying shit. That's a crime. Carla, don't worry. He is not team follow-back, just to let you know. Yeah, even when you do follow people, you don't get to see their posts. So it's a really cool thing about Instagram. Oh, don't come on here being an algorithm complainer, okay? I don't know if your friends got laid off for meta today or something, but we're still on Instagram, and I'm happy that I see stuff, and I don't see stuff. It's fine. I want them to make the decision for me. Shout out to all of our listeners who just got laid off at meta. We will send you a lighter. Just email me proof of termination as well as how many hundreds of thousands of dollars are in your Chase backing account, and I will send you a letter, guys. That's what I was going to say. I would feel sorry for you guys, but I'm sure the stock options are going to keep you afloat for at least three to five. That does.

soften it and also when 11 000 people all get fired on the same day like you don't have any shame about being laid off you're like 11 000 people got fired it's not personal right right it's a flip of a coin basically yeah can you imagine how lit the bars were in silicon valley last night those nerds oh shit Give me three fingers of hard kombucha. Yeah, I'm having one of those days. I'm having one of those days. They just pull their pink slips out and ask for a free shot of tequila. I'll need a case of liquid death. That's right. Carla, is it true that you and your life partner are how long gone listeners? It is true that my life partner is hardcore. Fernando Music is, he goes way back with you guys. I will be honest. I'm just going to come out and say it now. I have listened to half of two episodes. That's not bad. Okay. Were those two episodes people you know or people you're merely interested in? One of them was Andy Baragani. Shout out Andy Baragani. And the other one. It might have been on in the car when we were driving, so Fernando put it on. So you're listening to your dear friend Andy Bargani on How Long On? Yes. What an amazing day on the internet, and you're like, hmm. I'll listen to half of it. So this is what happened. What was the catalyst for turning it off? So I was outside. I remember very clearly. I was out in the backyard. I was grilling. I was grilling and chilling. And I was out there solo. And I had it on. Solo grill stash. Yeah, while I was cooking. With the boys. And then I guess the food was ready. And it was like, well. Wow, okay. Just as simple as that. Your impossible burgers were too hot and you just had to sit down and eat. You couldn't keep the Beats pill going while you chomped? No, it was time to transition. And when I come indoors, so that was on the Bluetooth speaker, and then you come indoors and then you switch to Sonos. I'm like, really, am I going to pick up where I got to go? I got to get on to Spotify?

and connect the speakers. I understand. Yeah, you can't listen to a podcast on Sonos. That just feels bizarre. It's pretty weird. I would assume that your house was a little more wired than that, just based on the size of it. I thought you had a guy come in. Chris thought Fernando was a little more tech-savvy with it. Yeah, but we do have Sonos. Look, it's right there behind me. Look, we know you got a free Sonos. I can see it. I get it. No, that's not the free one, but I do have a free one. But even more bizarre than only listening to half of an episode of How Long Gone, grilling for one. Oh, no, no. I was grilling... No, I was fully grilling for the fam, but I was just out there. Okay, never mind. You know, doing my own thing, cooking. It's just another place to cook. Like when I'm cooking in the kitchen, it's not like everybody's in there cooking with me. So I just happened to be cooking outside. I love grilling when everyone's inside and I go out in the back and grill and it's just a by-yourself meeting. Yes. I mean, I don't think you smoke cigarettes, but that's a great time to smoke while you're flipping chops. Yes. I used to smoke other stuff. I don't anymore. But that would be a great time. And also, especially for, like, entertaining the holidays, we grill our turkey at Thanksgiving because it's like, I got to go. Like, hello. Oh, my gosh. Kiss, kiss. Like, I have to go. I'll be back in an hour and 45 minutes. It's genius. I would like to dive into why you stopped smoking grass. Is it motherhood? Well, we don't know if it was grass. She said something. It could be crystal. Oh, that's a good point. That's a good point. It was fully. Yeah, it was Mary Jane. It was grass. Smoked it, ate it. I became addicted to it. Really? Okay, so you're the level of narc that thinks you can get addicted to marijuana. No, Chris. You can. Don't. You can. I've discussed this. It's rare, but when it happens, it has such a grip on the people that I've seen. Yeah. It makes fentanyl look like what? Taco Bell in terms of addiction. Okay, so this is you were every day you were blowing it down and you felt you needed to stop. Yeah, it's in the DSM-5, just FYI for other weed people out there. It is listed now with the substances you can get addicted to.

Just want to keep up with the psychological diagnoses. DSM-5? Yeah, what video game is that? Is that Dover Street on 7th? Yeah, the DSM is like the, you know, I don't know what it stands for, dictionary of some medication. It's like what the, it's where all the diagnoses. are listed so you're saying that joe biden in joe biden's america now weed is considered addictive that's what we're that's where we've gotten it's illegal but now it's also considered addictive yeah i think if you're if you this is how i how i think about it if you think you have a problem with it then it's a then it's a problem Yeah, that's true. Oh, that's true. So it was, and for people, I would never, you know, like smoke all the weed you want, burn it down. But for me, it just got to a point where it like wasn't fun anymore, but I couldn't stop doing it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's what everyone seems to say more or less of like, I'm not enjoying it anymore, but I need it just to reach my base level. Right. That's actually, that's how I feel about food. Not to offend you guys, but I'm kind of in the same, you know. I don't love it, but I need it. Expand on that, Chris. Okay, so are you drinking Soylent? What is happening? No, Jason went through a Soylent phase. I have no interest in that. I didn't buy it. I didn't buy it. Oh, that makes it okay that you got a free case? I still have the Soylent sticker on my Vitamix. I thought it was some sweet irony. That's cool. But yeah, it does taste like shit. But yeah, no, Chris, he's one of those people who are, I eat to live, not live to eat. crazy around sweets uh-huh pizza he turns into a rabid dog okay he does love some foods yeah yeah i know i do i just think you know the cheddar the cheddar cracker sandwiches with peanut butter in the middle don't bring this up jason do not bring not the crackers jason not this is a this is a very popular i think they're called those are ritz No, not Ritz, but I'll take down a fucking sleeve of Ritz, no problem. Ritz are one of the great crackers, period. So is Chris. Would you rank a Ritz over a Triscuit? Would you rank a Ritz over a Ritz? It's really hard. The Ritz-Triscuit thing is really, really hard for me. If it came down to it, and I've actually thought about it before, so I know my answer is Triscuit, but it's a tough one. And I think the Triscuit, it's like a little salty. The Ritz has a sweetness that I could walk away from.

But the Triscuit, the combo of the texture and the saltiness. The texture, I was going to say, the texture of the Triscuit. And I think the problem with both of these kind of Hall of Fame crackers is they've been, these Nabisco or whoever owns these have bastardized the flavors to the point where it's almost hard to find the plain on the shelf. And I only want plain. I don't want rosemary and cracked pepper. Get out of here. There are a lot, yeah. But I do like a reduced salt offering, though. A reduced salt offering is nice. Yeah, kind of. Some of them. I never go in for reduced salt. For like a wheat thin, you kind of forget just how much salt is in a cracker. Wheat thins. And then when you take it away, you're like, oh, yeah, I did not need that. Yeah. Okay. And so then is Chris, Chris is the weight lifter? Who's lifting weights? I'm lifting hella weights. Chris is the weight lifter. Okay. And I kind of do more sensual body exercises. Okay. Like stretching or what? Jason jerks off. I work out. Tai Chi? What's happening? It's a blend of all those things. No, no. I mean, it's like... Maybe more kind of slow, isolated kettlebell kind of things going on. Carla, he finds guys on Instagram that do stretching for high school basketball players, and then he kind of follows their program because he's tall like a basketball player, but not quite as athletic. Well, we love some functional range. you know, training, right? That's exactly what I'm doing. Functional performance, mobility, blah, blah, blah, blah. We got to stay mobile, guys. We need full range of motion, all the joints. I just try to combine that. Yeah, because I've been so tight lately, Carla, right in this rib cage here. Yeah, he can't release it. He can't release it. But he sent me a picture of your socked feet. Chris, you're painting it a little on the creepy side. This is more of a, You were putting up a PR on a deadlift. I wasn't just screenshotting feet pics from you, just to be clear. No, but I'm saying he didn't – I know he didn't buy the feet pics. I'm saying that when I see you with the 190 on the bar and the no shoes, that's when I know you're serious because you've got to have the flat feet. That's right. The real ones, no. That's right. I really hate taking my shoes off even in an Asian household. It's just something I don't like to do because it's part of the outfit. You know what I mean? Yeah.

And so I wear a flat-footed shoe when I'm lifting weights. Like a Converse? No, no, no. I hate that look. I wear a Converse. The new Nike Metcon. So it's still a sporting shoe, but it's completely flat and it's made for lifting. Is that not flat enough for you? Do you have to go barefoot to earth while you lift? I do wear my Converse a lot of times. trainer, coach, shout out Big Ross, he was wearing these vans that kind of look like old Puma Californias, if you know that reference. And they are flat enough. and he turned me on to them, so I just got a pair, and I like them. Okay. Yeah, what happens with the converse is, like, if I walk to and from the gym, I don't know if this is what you do on your podcast, but then it might flare up the planter for sure. Oh, not the planter. I'm suffering from some light. Not the planter. Can't do that. I'm suffering from the planter from time to time because of my running. Have you thought about buying a custom orthotic insole? for your walks to and from equinox your nox walks yeah what i'm doing yeah i'm more likely to just either wear a shoe that's good for walking and then be in the socks because i love to be in socks and i feel empowered when i take my shoes off and i also feel like it's just like a giant fuck you to everybody else in the gym but now there's all these flat people and we're all walking around in our socks so it's become like cool Flat nation. Flat nation is here. So you are a flat earther. I've never heard anyone say, I feel empowered when I take my shoes off. It's just kind of like anything to be slightly counterculture and also to reject whatever posturing is happening in the gym. Because just to be like, I know they don't like it. I know the Equinox people specifically don't like. Yeah, they tell you no, basically. Yeah, it's sort of metaphorically letting your nuts hang in the gym of like, yeah, shoes coming off.

Yep. And was there something that you'd like to say? Trainer. That's right. And do you want to see me like pick up 200 pounds? Because I'm going to do that in a minute. Damn, it's on site. So you're saying you see these little girlies with their fucking hokas on and their aloe matching sets. And you're like, you're losers. No, I'm talking about the men. I'm talking specifically about the dudes. Yeah. I think we're all fine with the girlies wearing the aloe sets and the hocus. I think it's like the dudes who wear the like compression like bike shorts with then the other kind of Nike over that. And then. I don't know what's happening on the top half, but I probably don't like it. And then, yeah, whatever kind of shoe. It's a little kind of a modern Patrick Bateman kind of energy to it. Yeah, exactly. Like you're definitely strangling cats on the weekend. The vibe that has happened now where like regular bankers wear like white three-quarter length tights under shorts is truly something I would... It's so terrible. I didn't think I would see that in my lifetime. I really didn't. But that's kind of you though, Chris. If you didn't have all these badass tattoos, you kind of give that. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. wearing tights look the way that tights you never if you wear shorts over tights you're a narc pussy that's an understood thing like runners tight tights come from running and if you're a real one you wear you wear the tights to run outside and and not even metaphorically you have to let your nuts hang yeah and You know, that's just what it is. Tights come from running. Wearing them in the gym to lift weights. Yeah, if you just wear the tights nuts out, I think that would be more like counterculture. We're doing whatever. And I don't mind seeing the indentation of your penis that much. I'm not looking. I don't need that. We've been doing some live shows over the last couple weeks. Thank you to everyone who came out. We had sort of a common bit on there where we would sort of complain about lists, like the top 10 dim sum spots in Chinatown or TJ, I'm coming to L.A., I need to get the best beer-y top, all this stuff. And we had a bit saying that Anthony Bourdain, he did not die from Aja Argento. He died because too many people asked him about food recommendations and lists, and he just couldn't handle it anymore.

What are your DMs looking like as a food professional who – Oh, God. I get a little bit of that. I actually – I don't do a ton of, like, restaurant recommendation in my day-to-day. My stuff is, like, more recipe or, like, what I'm making. But people will send that. That is a classic DM where you see it in the preview, you know, and I don't even open them, which is like, hey, Carla, quick question. I'm coming to New York, and I'm like, no. I can't help you. I'm coming to New York. And it's like, I know what this is. And also, you know, look. Instagram is the bread and butter. We still have to be there. It is like directly tied to my income. I'm very grateful for the support of all of my followers. This is a great preface so far. Great preface. But like any question that starts with, hey, hey, quick question that you're asking of someone who is like. considers themselves a professional in whatever field it's not a quick question because like actually if i'm going to respond to you i don't have i don't have it in my saved replies i don't have like i haven't taken the time to like put up my recommendations on my website because that's not important to me so it's not a quick question it's like oh your engagement well where are you staying like what are you into are you vegetarian like i'm going if i'm going to answer that question i'm going to actually think about it quite a bit because because i care right but so it's either like answer that's your first that's your that's your first problem you can't care about these people you cannot care about these yeah but then when people are like hey i made your i made your pasta fagioli and like i did this and i did that and it came out kind of like this like i will i will drill down with someone like let's talk about it if these people if these people can't follow your simple instructions then they're idiots and i don't think they deserve one more second of your time carla when you say a pinch of salt what do you mean by that exactly exactly yeah i don't understand but also when you're when you're scrolling through the dms and it's like hey carla quick question i'm coming in like what

How do you dislike if somebody looks hot enough in their avatar? You're like, I guess I will see what this fella is what their dietary restrictions are and see. I just I honestly will probably not open. I probably won't accept those into the general feed. It's like I'm then I'm going to feel bad because you've asked me a question and I'm never, ever going to answer it. But you saw that I opened it. Yes. I'd rather just be like, she doesn't look at her DMs. You've broken a lot of hearts explaining this on the pod today. But what about a celeb? A celeb. Oh, yeah. Blue checks to the top, baby. Yeah, I knew you were my kind of chick. That's how the world works. Yeah, I mean, they didn't give us a top request option if they didn't want us to use it. Okay. Has anyone ever been, like, has a celeb ever been like, all right, can I FaceTime you? I'm making popcorn right now and I keep burning it. You're the guru. Can we do this right now? Has that ever happened? Not FaceTime, but I have been nurturing what is to me one of my favorite and most meaningful celebrity connections, which is that Pamela Adlon and I became, we did one podcast together when I was still at BA. I mean, I'm not, I'll just speak for myself. I like completely fell in love with her. She's amazing. I was already in love, but it just cemented the deal. And like, she loves to cook and she loves food. And like once in a while. She'll ask me a question, and I would pull the car over to the side of the road to answer. That's a great celeb pull. Yeah, that's good. That's a nice deep cut. Have you watched Better Things? Have you watched her show? No, I try not to watch shows. And her work on Louis C.K.'s show is great as well. Exactly. Yeah. Brilliant. But her character on her show cooks a lot. You guys seem like you would be friends, though. That seems like a... I would put you and her together, kind of. That doesn't seem that far-fetched. No, she was like my long-lost sister. Carla, what celebrity do you think Chris's long-lost sister or brother is? Okay. Like a Ben Shapiro kind of guy? Matt Damon. No, not Ben Shapiro, Matt Damon. I've been told in my younger years that I was giving Damon...

Now that he's puffed up a little bit and married a flight attendant, I hope I'm doing a little better than him. But I don't, you know. Got it. We all age. Yeah, the bank account is probably neck and neck. So it's just kind of a visual thing. Yeah, neck and neck. He lives in Brooklyn now. He also, I think, lives in like Hawaii. He has like six kids or whatever. Yeah, he has a lot of kids. Isn't that the biggest income flex of all is like how many kids? Especially in New York. Like if you have. three or more kids in New York City. It's just basically like... Yeah, we're really, really wealthy. There's a staff. We're spending $200,000 on private schooling a year. More impressive than owning a yacht. Yeah, it is. And the problems that come with it. Oh, God. I mean, you know how hard it is to hire a nanny in this city. It's crazy. They want cash. They want weekends off. They want to go back to Jamaica for the fucking summer. It's crazy. It's impossible. No, our house is not 420-friendly print. I thought you were going to say, you know how hard it is these days, like kids. Am I right? No. We don't know how hard kids are because, thank God, I've avoided that and will continue to avoid that. But I know that there are joys that come with motherhood, I'm sure. But you seem like the kind of person that would keep it 100. How old are these kids and how annoying are they? It's amazing because the great thing that has happened now is we do not need babysitters anymore because I have a 13-year-old and I have an 18-year-old. You got an 18-year-old? I have an 18-year-old child. A badass little 18-year-old? Is this a man or a woman? Yeah, it's a he. Worst case scenario, the 18-year-old is taking care of the 13-year-old. We could be gone for days, but now he's in college, so it's a little inconvenient. Do they get along, or is he like, this is my badass little brother. I'm going to give him a noogie. They get along, but they're very different people. And I think because they have a six-year age gap, it's a little hard to be 18 and your brother is going through hardcore, the most hormonal phase, late-stage puberty, just really intense. And I think as they get older, I have a seven-and-a-half-year difference with my sister, and as we got older, we got closer and closer.

Yeah, they don't, like, hate each other, but it's also hard to, like, truly hang. Yeah, being 13, like, when your older son was 13 and your younger son was a youngster, was there a lot of bullying going on and some mean stuff, or was it pretty chill? No, I mean, if anything, the younger one would bully the big one. Just like Chris and I. It was more just, like, low-level, like, rage and annoyance, like a lot of suppressed. anger and resentment happening for the older one. He once described his younger brother as an attention vacuum. Wow. So you're saying the younger son is the Beyonce of the family. Exactly. And it's causing some problems. Now, does the 18-year-old, is he bringing... Anyone home? A romantic? Friends home? No, not friends. No, no, I don't care about friends. I mean romantic interest. No, I meant like friends. Oh, friends. Oh, like leave the door open. Oh, who's your friend? Oh, is this your new friend? Yes, there have been friends that came home. Okay, good for him. Now, what is your approach to that sort of situation? Are you hard-nosed or you kill him with kindness? Door stays open. Yeah, exactly. Door stays open is a classic. Yeah, right. Two feet on the floor at all times. That was a rule for a while. Being realistic about it and having grown up in New York and my husband grew up in L.A. There was no part of me that assumed that my child was going to not drink while he was underage or do things. He's going to touch a titty eventually. It's only a matter of time. It's going to happen, right? People are going to get naked. So we more leaned into having some guardrails around not lying to us. That's a big thing, which was an issue for a while. We would rather have all of the information, It's like, you know, things that technically like maybe you shouldn't be doing that, but at least be able to talk about it. And then guardrails around like, hey, as a general rule, like don't send a dick pic ever. Don't do it like.

It's not a thing you should do. If someone sends you some nudity, you're going to want to, like, not have that on your phone. Just, like, things like that that we didn't have to. Modern parenting is crazy. Yeah, it is. We hear stuff like this relatively often on this show, and it's just, like, every time. Chris, could you imagine your mom? His mom listens to every episode while she goes on her walks every day, by the way. Could you imagine your mom being like, all right, Christopher. No dick pics. Do not, under any circumstances, send a young lady a photograph of your genitalia. Oh, is that where the kids are putting stuff? Christopher, let me look at your Dropbox, okay? We're going to look at the Dropbox together as a family. Wait, I love the idea that you have like a cache of dick pics in your Dropbox. Well, he can't have them on his phone. It's like a password kind of thing. Well, I kind of get it. I kind of cheaped out on the new phone. I don't have a lot of storage, so I keep all the high-res stuff on the cloud. I would suggest trying that, maybe for some of your food pics. Or the raw files. Yeah, you want the raw right off the card. Go ahead and try and download it. It's three terabytes, you losers. Yeah, it's not going to work. It's never going to happen. Now, the college, is this the first time he's been away from home? Yes. Well, he always went to summer camp for many weeks at a time, so like six, eight weeks. So, yes, stuff happens in the woods, no doubt. I wasn't even implying that, but you're right, it does. You sounded like DMX when you said that. Stuff happens in the woods. No doubt. No doubt. Well, you know, I mean, I think that there's a thing that with people our age, and I've heard a lot of these stories where there's like a connection to finding pornography in the woods when you were younger, which is so weird, but everyone can relate to that. Obviously, that's probably something that died with the invention of the internet to some extent. It's still out there, but it's a lot tougher to find. I've definitely looked at bush porn. Touched it with my bare hands. No pun intended. Is he far away from home or is he on the East Coast?

No, he's on the East Coast. Yeah, he ended up like two and a half hours away from us, which is like great. Carla, you went to Brown, right? I did. I went to Brown. You're a Brownie? Chris loves Brown. Do you? Well, it just seems like one of the more achievable Ivies. You know what I mean? Like I'm not getting into Harvard. I'm not getting into Yale. I don't have that kind of lineage. Yeah. Where Brown, I feel like you can be just like smart, you know, upper middle class a little bit, you know. Yeah. You can just kind of weasel your way in there. And I respect that more. Yeah. Than like my dad went here and my granddad went here. They look at hooks a little bit as well. It's not just numbers, you know. Yeah. Yeah. Very liberal arts. Yeah. My parents definitely did not go to Ivies. So it was. I loved it there. And I love Providence. And I loved, I mean, pretty nerdy. I was pretty, like, pretty nerdy. Loved being a student. Loved my classes. And just, like, at Brown, you don't have to take, you don't have to take, like, core curriculum really hardly at all. So you can just take the classes that, like, you really want to. And I remember maybe my sophomore year, you know, my, like, report came back and my dad was like, Are we going to, like, maybe do a poli-sci? Or, like, I'm not saying you've got to do, like, hard calculus. And I was like, no, I'm good. It was, like, all comparative literature, you know, semiotics, lit in society. And did you study the food arts as well? I did not, no. Okay. I was, like, purely – it was a major called lit in society, which now doesn't exist. It was part of the modern culture and media department. The MCM kids. I don't know. Maybe you've talked to some MCM kids in the past. I've been lit in society. Yeah, lit society literally sounds like a mixtape title. That's what I was going to say. But I'm glad to know that it was a little more than that. It's a young and reckless mixtape series. Yeah, exactly. We were talking about popcorn before, Carla. Oh, good. I have a hard time making popcorn. Whenever the winter chill enters the world, I want to get it.

You know, a nice big bowl of popcorn and watch the crown in my jammies. Yeah. You get it, girl. But I often brown my corn a little too much on the bottom. I get it burning. Okay. You seem to have it figured out pretty well. I'm afraid I'm going to have to go something a little less. stainless steel or aluminum and something more Dutch oven-y with a thicker... Yeah, that's what was going to be my first question. Thank you for sliding into my DMs with your popcorn question. But I will answer it. Just a super quick question since thousands of people are listening and you have to answer it. I have a really quick question on something... I know you explain it in depth on your Patreon, which costs money, but I don't want to pay you money, so... No, no. Bro, you can get this on YouTube, friends. Just look me up on YT. Can I ask you a question real quick before you answer this? As long as it's about popcorn. It is. I buy my popcorn at... Whole Foods in a bag, and it's kind of ready to eat, and it tastes great. So why would you make it at home ever? Right. Yeah, I mean, it's like, hey, they have pre-made sandwiches at Trader Joe's. Why would I make one at home? No, sandwich is different. Popcorn, to me, there's too much of a room for error. Not worth it. This is spoken like a person who has just never popped popcorn at home. It's just better. The texture is better. The flavors are better. But popcorn is one of those things that if we're stopping at a gas station or I'm getting on a plane, 100% love to get a bag of popcorn. I can never eat pre-popped corn. Every time I see it, the smell, it almost disgusts me, old popcorn smell. And just knowing that this corn was popped possibly last year and has been sitting in a warehouse somewhere in Des Moines. Yeah. I feel like I'm better than that. You're not. I feel like you are, too. You're definitely not, but I understand why you would think that. But do you also feel that way about Bjornkorn? Have you had the Bjornkorn? Oh, Bjorn's number one in the game, baby. They got all the flavors. Bjorn does hit differently. It's really good. It does hit differently. Which one do you fuck with, Carla? Do you fuck with the spicy?

Or the regular nutritional yeast? I do sometimes. I like the original that have the nutritional yeast. That's my favorite. But I also like the spicy. And sometimes in the car we'll get one of each and then mix them. Damn it. You say you don't smoke weed. Okay. Yeah, I did for so long that it's... still you know it's just like part of it's in your blood well i've also seen that they've released some new flavors i don't know if you've seen the maple no uh there's a maple no i don't i don't like that i haven't tried it it's not my thing but i'm glad to see them expanding because that means yes that's true and you need more skews and if you don't have the skews you're not coming out with new product you don't have nothing to talk about and you need to be but i'm sorry i'm sorry i'm sorry to bring i'm sorry that i brought up package popcorn jason's looking a Please answer his query about how to make popcorn at home because he can't seem to do it right. Well, I do it right sometimes, but I need to have more consistency with my pot. I just want to know what pot you're using. It's kind of a large. It's the biggest pot I have, but it's like a stainless steel, just standard pot with a glass lid, the kind that you would use to boil your pasta or something like that. But I do have a big Le Creuset. Dutch oven. And I should be using that instead. How big is it, though? I have the kind of medium-sized pot. And then I have the one that's like the bigger round one, but it's not the oval Dutch oven. Got it. Maybe it's 1.5. I don't remember what. Okay. I'm bad with the numbers. Thanks for explaining that. I was wondering what your kind of artillery was looking like. Shut the fuck up, Chris. I wanted to know what your artillery was looking like in the kitchen. You know what I mean? And that's just one shelf, sweetheart. That's just one shelf. I think. Don't make me. How much time do we have? I want to know kind of what's underneath. Are we cracking the lid? Yeah, so I would say that the... the ratio of like dead space to corn is important. So if your Dutch oven that has maybe the thicker walls and like maybe more even like heat retention, if it's too big, you're still going to be in the danger of burning because it's just like there's not enough filling up in there. So I would go with something where it's like definitely enough room for all those kernels to pop and be contained.

But you need to reduce the heat once the popping starts. So that's like one. So I don't like do the thing where you put one kernel in and wait for it to pop, and then you're good to go. All the kernels go in. Yeah. By the way, this video, Carlos Magical Seven Spice Popcorn, is up on my YouTube channel. But I love to walk you through it. I'm sorry. Who loves this? Oh, you love. Okay. Okay, great. Continue, please. Go ahead, Carla, please. Okay, thank you. Popcorn is a whole grain, so that's one of the things I love about it. So I like to get everything in there, get the right amount of fat. The right amount of fat is also really important. People want to hold back on the fat. They're like, popcorn's like... caloric get get over it you need enough fat to be coating what what type of seed oil are you using or using beef tallow i mean i don't think it's worth it to pop in olive oil so i've used like coconut but vegetable honestly like vegetable oil yeah it's vegetable oil it's vegetable oil definitely not butter there's no butter i don't fuck with butter in my popcorn but Once it's warmed up and all of those kernels are properly lubed, then you put the top on and you wait for the popping to start. And when the popping starts, then you can nudge the heat down a little so that you don't scorch the bottom. I mean, the only thing worse than an unpopped kernel is a scorched bottom. Jason has been called a scorched bottom before. But that's kind of a different line of questioning. So what I'm going to say to all – I put the ran and ran through it. Yeah, what I'm going to say about all this popcorn talk is that I think next time, Jason, I come over to your house – I'm going to bring some quins, or some Bjorn corn. We're going to pop off. And you're going to pop your own, and we're going to do a side-by-side taste test. We're going to FaceTime you, Carla, so you can see my reaction when I'm enjoying the packaged corn more. Yeah, it's like, I'm going to bring over some Steakums frozen flaps, and you have an A5 Wagyu on cast iron, and we'll see which one's better. Yeah, see which one. See which one works out. But, Jason, I'm honest, and I love to support your journey as an amateur chef. You know that. I'm very sorry.

supportive of your cooking. I want you to be better, but I just don't know if it's possible based on the R&D they've been able to do over at the Bjorn factory. Yeah, I agree. Bjorn is a great ready to go option, but it just doesn't even come close. It reminds you of real popcorn in a way. Let's do this then. What's the time to get the perfect corn from start to finish in my bowl? How much time are we looking at? Ten minutes. Yeah, that's what I was going to say. And also a little edging makes the popcorn taste better. The smell of corn is wafting through your brownstone. Is that a seven spice blend? That's dancing upon my nose. If I had a brownstone, I'd probably honestly make popcorn more because the idea of it wafting through the many floors does sound quite nice. I'm a big anti-food smell guy, but popcorn I do like. I would be a murderer if you didn't like the smell of popcorn. Isn't anti-food smell guy a funny thing to hear, Carla? Yeah, like who hurt you? No one. I just think the home should never smell like food. I think what hurt him was, you know those cheap Monday jeans that are kind of painted on? Chris tried to cram 10 pounds of black into 5 pounds of Mondays, and this is where we're at now. Now we can't keep salmon in the house. Oh, okay. I'm sure you guys look really cool in 2007. What is that supposed to smell like? Like Febreze? Byredo candles? Byredo, Japanese amber in the winter, maybe. I like to switch the scent up for the summers, depending on which kind of incense or candle story I'm going for. But it just, food, just the smell of lingering food, it's like if you go to a restaurant and it's not properly aerated and you leave smelling like a restaurant, it's like that annoys the shit out of me. I just spent $250 to smell like a fucking fryer. I want to smell the food before. I eat it, it'll get my juices flowing, my unctuous taste buds ready. But then when I'm done, toothpick in my mouth, top button of the Cheap Mondays come open. I don't want to smell no more. I want to smell Febreze. I want to smell 409. I want to smell bleach. I don't want to smell Febreze. That's disgusting. The fact that you think I would scent my house like that is not only offensive. You want to smell Clorox bleach. I mean, I would like Clorox bleach. I like that smell better than like

an hour after someone's cooked fish in a household yes i will say that okay is that crazy is that so wild i'm sorry i don't think that's that crazy no fish smell is one of the smells that people but when i come home and like i have something in the oven and i walk in the door and it smells like delicious whatever i love that like when my yeah when people come in the door and they walk in the door and they're like oh like are you making fill in the blank and it's like it's a very I don't think either of my children are going to grow up to say what you're saying. Yeah, yeah. I love making the chicken broth overnight, and then you wake up and come downstairs. Yes. Oh, yeah. You guys are fucking freaks, man. I want the... I'm with a cleaning lady in here every week. The only thing I want to smell is either a fresh flower or a candle that costs over $100 with tax. Those are the only two things I want to smell. The fridge, I've said this before and I'm going to say it again. The fridge, we got water. We got sparkling water. We've got a single bottle of Dom Perignon for guests. And maybe a selection of chilled drinkable reds. And if necessary, a six pack of beer depending on who the guests are. No food. And what, like Triscuits? No, I would maybe think of a nice nut mix, a la like a Four Seasons bar type of beat. Okay, okay. What about a single plastic container of chopped watermelon from Erewhon for $27? Yeah. Just something to snack on when you're feeling naughty. Fresh fruit is a sexy and edible food that is somewhat scentless, thank God, if you do it right. Fruit's a great option, Jason. Fresh fruit is a sexy and edible food. Yeah, it's almost... Yeah, it's a low-scent option. It's a low-scent option, but I think... Okay, well, we're moving away from... We're digressing. I need to know what the seven-spice blend is on this popcorn. I grew up putting spike seasoning on my popcorn. Are you familiar with that season? Spike? Give it a Google. Is it like a... Spike. Like a seasoning salt, like Lowry's?

it's in the realm of it's in the realm of lowry's i think lowry's may have uh absorbed this company a long time ago wow but it has like maybe 20 25 different, it's like the kitchen sink of every herb and spice all thrown into one. It's great on a popcorn. I hope you give it a shot, Carla. I want to answer your question. I just have a quick thing for Chris. It just will help me understand him better. So if you hang out at a campfire or if you hang out in my backyard and I'm like grilling over hardwood or whatever and you come in the house and then The next day you go to put that same jacket on and the jacket smells like smoke. Are you psyched or are you disgusted? I want to spend as little time outdoors as possible unless it's for exercise purposes. And I do love, I love the sound of a fire and I know it creates a beautiful moment for a group of people to gather around and break bread. Unfortunately, the smell does bother me and I don't want to be a complainer, but I also, the smoke can get in my eyes. I'm a LASIK survivor. Sometimes they get a little dry. Me too. Yeah. Yeah. So it's something that I have to kind of watch during this as we get into fire season. I am. This is a little bit of a PSA for the other sufferers out there. Got it. Chris is so close to Topanga and a lot of the kind of high warning areas over here. Exactly. It's a little bit of a trigger for me. Got it. But it sounds like, Carla, don't take this the wrong way. It sounds like your house stinks. It does. But in a good way. In like the best possible way. I understand you. That smoke question really helped me understand. And also like, yes. Shout out people with astigmatisms who used to be legally blind and then had the surgery. I suffer from mental illness, and I kind of feel strong talking about it, and it's not a big deal for me. But I'm glad that you understand you're giving me kind of space to do that on this show. Because sometimes Jason isn't quite as sympathetic. Nobody in my family has been ravaged by LASIK. So I don't have that level of empathy that you guys are aware of. And I'll continue to kind of berate those people until...

One of my loved ones does fall ill to it. It's something that you can't understand unless you've lived through it. It's one of those things. You can read about it, but it's just not the same. And again, I didn't mean to take you off track. We still haven't gotten the seven spices. Okay, seven spices. Okay, one of them is olive oil. So take that. It's a flavoring. That's an oil, not a spice, but okay. Is it sprayed on with a little pumper? No, no, sir. Drizzle, drizzle, drazzle. You know, popcorn is a sponge. You drizzle one tablespoon on one kernel. That's right. But you have to put the oil on when it comes. So you're popping in your vegetable oil. That's not considered a flavoring for me. Then when it comes out, you've got to drizzle when it's hot. And it's the first thing that goes on because then that helps all the seasonings. The other seasonings stick. But olive oil has a flavor. So that's olive oil, kosher salt, black pepper, Aleppo pepper, nutritional yeast. Hold up, hold up, hold up. Aleppo, that sounds like, is that a bad bunny collaborator? What the fuck is that? It's actually more Middle Eastern pepper, isn't it? Yeah, it's actually from Aleppo, which was very sadly ravaged in the war in Syria. So now the Aleppo pepper is actually coming from Turkey, and it's a similar... type of pepper, but you can't call it. You can't call champagne champagne if it's not grown in champagne. So it's like that. How do you feel now, Chris? How do you feel now with your fun little bad bunny joke? I don't feel great, but I also didn't know that. So thank you, Carla, for blessing me with some new knowledge. My pleasure. I will instantly forget this because I'll never hear that word or think about that again. But I did learn something. I did learn something for this moment. Wait until he hears about the Urfa pepper. It's really going to fuck him up. urfa you could totally use urfa you could use a mirage you could use a gochugaru so then that was five and then it's got um granulated garlic which i prefer over garlic powder but if you have to that's cool and msg the seasoning that should be on every bowl of popcorn you ever eat okay and is this spice blend already mixed and you have it in a shaker ready to go no that would be so smart of me no that's part of the fun is like

The, you know, you're seasoning, you're tasting. So you're, and then, so whoever makes the popcorn eats like way more than everybody else because you've got to like taste while you're. I want to point out to both of you because you're both sitting here acting like this is totally normal. Yeah. And I just want to, I just want to tell you guys that I know you think I'm insane because I don't like the smell of fucking salmon. Yeah. You guys are talking about, you guys are talking about spending this amount of energy and time on making popcorn. And I think that is deranged. Yeah. I'm sure it's delicious. Well, Chris, let me put it in words that you can understand. It's like we're describing making a T-shirt. Chris is very into the clothes and stitching and the fabrics and all that stuff. It's like this is just a T-shirt, but somebody puts this amount of technique, thought, level, parallel, and stuff into something so simple. You create excellence. And that T-shirt will stay in my closet and I'll wear it for years to come. This popcorn, you're going to eat it, shit it out the next day and never think about it again. Right. But I understand that. I understand kind of where you're coming from. I think that this amount of time goes in for people who like to eat. It makes sense. Sure. Because it's all part of like Jason's right. It's part of the creative process of like I'm making something and. It could be meditative for some people. It could be a creative. It could just be fun. For me, popcorn is a major procrastination tool. So it's very important in my work life to be like, oh, start thinking about the popcorn when I'm supposed to be working. I have to go make it. Now I've avoided a good 45 minutes between the making and then the eating. You can't type. It's a kind of food that... You take a bite. You can't. You're wiping your fingers every time. So it does. Interesting. It's effective that way. That's actually one of my biggest gripes with popcorn and just a little hack for you guys out there. When I buy the Bjorn corn, I take my Fiskars scissors with the orange handles. Yeah. Not kitchen scissors, regular. Take a little snip snip.

of the side and then i'm able to pour the popcorn directly into my mouth from the bag without it dribbling down my chin or getting on my finger so i'm able to type so i don't want you to do that because that would obviously kind of work against your theory thank you but i just wanted to kind of share that with other people this heifer has found out a way to get that feeding tube right into his mouth and you can dislocate that jaw exactly some people do eat popcorn with chopsticks which is like incredible oh well i that's that's incredible i think that's also i don't know that feels like cultural appropriation to me but i guess some people can do that yeah chris asian people can also eat popcorn i'm sorry i've also seen chopsticks on the uh on the flaming hot cheetah yeah and white people can use msg it's truly an amazing i love where our world's at i love where our world's at in 2022 this is sick bro White people can use MSG and chopsticks. This is fire. It's a beautiful world. It's pretty amazing. Carla, I really want to try this popcorn. You've sold me 110%. What? sounds delicious yeah it sounds fucking delicious i was not expecting that after all of that i did not think we were going to end up with really want to try it maybe jason will make it for you maybe do you guys hang out in person ever sparingly once a month or so i mean if the budget is there we will hang out together yeah jason makes me jason makes me zell him one thousand dollars every time we hang out when it's not a recording carly you should put all those spices together in a blend because you know as soon as as soon as package it as soon as you pull that corn like you said you have to drizzle the olive oil instantly yeah and it you know every second counts it's a great idea i don't know oh yeah what am i doing over here jesus christ and then you have to of course develop your perfect ratio of all of those this is what like you know people really people are doing you know what carla i'll do it for you okay i'll do it for you send me your address yeah i'll fedex over tj's special spice blend And Carla, if you're looking to do any sort of cookbook stuff, I think we should. I'm looking to develop something that is a scent-free cookbook. Not that scent-free, we know that's impossible, but something that's like a low-smell foods that are still delicious. This is actually an interesting idea. If you're a chef or a foodie person and you're being held captive and you don't want your... Yeah.

Kidnappers to smell all the yummy food that you're cooking, this is a great solution for that. I thought when you said cookbook, I thought we were going to talk about recipes for weightlifters. I would like to know about your protein stack after you're done with a pump sesh. It's not good enough. The protein's a real struggle. So you need our help. Do you want us to send you some powders? Yeah, for someone my size, you've got to get into the powders. I can't eat that much fucking chicken or turkey in a day. Well, we'll send over some powders. Yeah, I know you're a boar's head lover, but too much is too much. I mean, you just can't, you know. Talk about sodium, am I right? Look, I eat a boiled chicken for, you know, every single day. You do? I get a nice five pound. No. But, I mean, oftentimes, we always have a chicken boiling in the house, and we just have meat. I really wish we had gotten to this sooner. Just boiling chickens. Like, are you making matzo ball soup? What's happening? I'm making broth. I mean, obviously, I'll boil the chicken, or it's actually poaching. Okay. And then I'll pull, with the aromatics and all this stuff, I'll pull the bird out, let it chill. Take all the meat and skin off of it. Then put the carcass and bones back in. Great. Do the broth. Cook it overnight. Love it. Then I have the broth. Then I have the chicken. And I'm just eating that shit raw dog. Okay. Not even chicken salad. Sometimes, yeah. I do a juice cleanse once a week. And then on that juice cleanse day, I'll just drink juice only. And then if I get super starved, I will just eat poached. Chicken breast meat. I feel like Superman. It's like what my mom does for my two-year-old nieces. There's just kind of a box of pulled chicken available for the little hands to get in. Your mom said it takes her 45 minutes to pull all the chicken off of rotisserie from Publix. I'm doing a big dog bird three times the size of that. And I'll knock it out in 10 minutes. I mean, look at the size of your phalanges. Dark and white separated. Wow, wow. Oh, really? You keep them separate? Jason's on his little segregation swag when it comes to the bird. Yeah, I was about to say. Wow, that's crazy, bro. What? I just think that the whites and the dark should be separated. No, no, no, because I like both of those meats. I like the white meat. I like the dark meat.

They both have great applications. So why don't you mix them? You're like, I'm either in the mood for dark meat or white meat? My mood changes and also the recipe application could change as well. Wow. Okay. Am I going to be braising for a tinga? This changes everything. See, Carla, you thought I was the freak. I know. It really has turned. I just get excited around the culinary arts. Carla gets it. Luckily for you, we're both freaks. Carla, thank you for joining us. You guys check out Carla on YouTube, Instagram, wherever you digest, no pun intended, your food content. And Carla, what a pleasure. I'm going to try this popcorn. I'm going to give you some feedback live on the air as well as a personal email. I would love that. It's going to take a little while because I'm doing some traveling right now, but this is top of my to-do list. Okay, yeah, that would be great if you could mention it, and then Fernando will tell me when it's been on because, as we discussed, I don't listen to the show. Fernando, we love you. Fernando, please come on the show. And like Chris said before, make sure to hit Chris up if you're ever thinking about getting into the cookbook space. He can kind of give you a hand in navigating those waters. I want to speak to Fernando directly for a second because I find his last name, which is now your last name, quite confusing. Can he play guitar at all or is it just a last name? Yeah, no, we get this a lot. If I had a nickel for everybody who said, cool last name, I wouldn't be sitting here. I would have a third child, if you know what I mean. Yeah, his family, that's his parents' last name is Music. It's like an Ellis Island story. They were musicians, and the last name sort of sounded like Music, and it got shortened at Ellis Island to Music, M-U-S-I-C, and here we are. But people think that my channel, all the time, they're like, why is there music in this channel name? It's all the time. Fernando can play the drums. And amazingly, it skipped a generation. I'm tone deaf, can't play an instrument, like terrible. But our child, the one who's in college, amazing trombone player. Oh, okay. Like absolutely loves music. It skipped a generation. No wonder you've got to tell him to keep his feet on the floor. He's playing the trombone. These chicks can't keep their hands off of this guy. So he's really blowing on that bone is what you're saying. That's right. The horn.

We're blowing horns over here. Feeding his ladies off of the stick. That's great. All right. Thank you, Carla, for joining us. You guys go check out Carla wherever you, like I said, digest food content. Carla, we'll talk to you soon. We appreciate you. Thank you so much. Appreciate you, Carla. Thanks so much. Love you. Ciao. Love you.