008. - Alison Roman

All right, this episode of How Long Gone is brought to you by Stateside with Kai and Carter, a new podcast from The Guardian. And they are using this podcast to slow down the news and wrestle with the questions that we all have about what's happening in the world. And they do it three times a week. Jason, does that sound familiar to you? We don't really talk about, you know, a lot of international global news items and climates and cultures and sports and things like that. We do talk about fashion and wellness, but for everything else, Kai and Carter are a great place. All right, so who couldn't use more news? Listen wherever you get your podcast. or watch on YouTube. Want to make a podcast? Spotify's got a platform that lets you make one super easily, then distribute it everywhere, and even earn money. We like that. All in one place for totally free. It's called Spotify for Podcasters. And here's how it works. Spotify for podcasters lets you record and edit podcasts right from your cellular telephone or your computer. So no matter what your setup is like, you can start creating today. Then you can distribute your podcast to Spotify and everywhere else, those other places that podcasts are heard. Video podcasts are also available on Spotify. And when you want to take conversations with your fans to the next level, Q&As and polls are the best way to get them talking. With Spotify for podcasters, you can earn money in a variety of ways, including ads and... and podcast subscriptions. And best of all, it's totally free. Zero catch. We've been using it ever since we started How Long Gone. And ever since I discovered Spotify for Podcasters, I feel like having the option of turning off the Q&As and the polls on the user dashboard has really helped boost my creativity and take it to another level. I highly recommend giving it a try. Download the Spotify for Podcasters app or go to www.spotify.com slash podcasters to get started. But I'm here now. Roman. What's that? What's good? Wow. Sorry. Jason's wearing his back brace, so it's freaking me out a little bit. It's a posture corrector that we wear because why not?

Because right now, what better time than now to correct the posture? My thoughts exactly. No one is going to see me except you guys. I absolutely get it. Also, Allison, you can disable the camera by hitting the little camera icon if you want to go mask on. I feel like we should level the playing field. There it goes. Some people want to be seen. No, I've just been on back-to-back Zoom calls, so I was already presentable, but you never know. Wow, must be nice. Somebody's bank account's still booming in this recession. Must be nice. I haven't even showered. I was literally made for this fucking quarantine. It's like I'm fulfilling my life's destiny right now. Well, your cookbook was made for this quarantine, probably. Yeah, I feel like I'm experiencing true boom time. Wow. Now you have one hour to rub it in to the rest of America. None of it is equating to financial gain. I want you to know that. It's all internet clout and ethereal meaning. Luckily, you're talking to two people who only care about the latter. You're with the right audience. And are also only able to generate the latter. Exactly. What is money? What is time? What is money? It's all these concepts that are no longer important. Allison, where are you? I want to situate the listener. I am in Hudson. I'm in Hudson, New York. Is that where you live all the time? No, I live in Brooklyn, but two of my dear friends moved up here last May, and I was going to stay with them for two weeks anyway around this time because I was supposed to be in Australia, and I canceled my trip, and so I thought, okay, well, I'll just... Get out of town anyway for two weeks. And that is now turning into life. I've moved in. This is your new family. Yeah, we are officially a family. They are my parents. And we're honestly crushing it. Do you think they want you to leave? Or are they still like you? I don't think they do. I think they want me to stay. Why did you cancel your trip to Australia? The coronavirus. Got it. Okay.

A little thing I like to call the coronavirus. Is there something going on? Like, why would you limit your travel? I don't really get it. It's so weird. Well, it's nuts because I canceled it. I was supposed to depart on a Sunday. I canceled my trip on Friday. Like, I was like, oh, well, maybe I'll be able to go. And when I canceled it, I was feeling really guilty as if I was overreacting. There was still this feeling of, like, you could cancel. But, like, you know, you're really letting down a lot of ticket holders. And they hadn't called the festival off yet that I was even going for. And it was a whole situation. And I felt really guilty for bailing on this trip because it was for work. And then, like, literally within 48 hours, like, everything just unraveled completely and shut down. And, you know, I think had I left, like, a week earlier, I would have gone and I would have been stuck in Australia. Well, that's truly jail. That's worse than jail. It would have been you and Tom Hanks only. So you're in America and you're like, I don't know about this. In Australia, back then, they were like, we're still going to the beach. What's the big deal? Back then. 11 days ago. I feel like they were a bit more relaxed. And the people that I spoke to about it, though, they were like, they were saying how they were still above average tense, which like our read on it was that they were extremely chill. And for anyone who's Australian or lives in Australia, they were like, people are acting crazy. But I think it's because they had experienced those really devastating fires and they had like a shit year already. So they were sort of on edge as a country. um but like being on edge there still seems like pretty chill pretty yeah yeah i think so too just to stereotype them i do i agree with that yes what uh what were you supposed to do were you supposed to read were you supposed to appear shake hands oh i don't i don't know how to read um yeah i was supposed to we know that's why you that's why you cook sweetie we know we know um uh yeah i was there for a book tour so my book was published

like was picked up by a UK Commonwealth, uh, publisher. So as part of my book tour this fall, I went overseas to London and then was going to like swing back around in March, which is, you know, Australian summer baby. You really, you really, you really global. I didn't know you were doing it this big to be honest. That's truly global. Outside of America, where, where is like prime Roman real estate? Where are they feeling you the most? In this country here? Outside of America, what's your come to Brazil? Australia, I think. I have a column at an Australian food magazine. People in Australia are really into food content and food in general. Melbourne and Sydney have an insane restaurant culture and people are just very invested in eating good food and eating wine. They love to rage. Do you want to hear mine? I only can say one thing. Yes, we do. Yes, we do. I can say, I can say bushel of parsley. That is too specific to celebrate. I'm sorry. That's too specific to celebrate. What about, what about, I'll have a flat white. That's pretty good. There we go. Jason, I think, Jason, didn't you do an entire episode of a podcast with an Australian accent once? Just about, yeah. I mean, you got to get pretty drunk. I like Australians, by the way. I like Australians, for the record. They're extremely kind and good to me. I do too, Chris. Not as much, but yeah. No, I do. I have many friends in the EDM community who are Australian. Shut up. One of our co-best friends is Australian. So that's where I think I've learned all about Australia from. And he always discourages me from going there. Like, why would you? You don't need to go there. Like, it's fine. And then he goes. And then he goes. And it looks like fucking paradise. I'm like, dude, this looks pretty good to me. I don't know what the deal is. I think it's like Comic-Con. Like, you can just tell if someone's not going to like it. And you're like.

I have a lot of fun there, but I don't think you're going to dig it. Chris, you hate beauty, so you don't need to go. I have an Australia question, Allison. Australian people always talk about the Australian breakfast being this perfect thing. When I get them to describe it, it's just the same thing that you would get at Squirrel or any other place in LA. That's because they've all copied Australia. Damn, Allison. Going guns blazing. Mask off. Not Squirrel specifically, but they definitely went into that trend. But I also think there's a lot of parallels between Sydney and LA, generally speaking, culturally and weather-wise. So I don't think it's too crazy to draw similarities. But the Australian Breakfast is generally like... They call it something really dumb like brekkie, which makes me want to throw up. I fucking hate that. Tough word to say out loud. That seems like a hashtag I would have seen you use before, but I guess not. I don't use hashtags. I'm just kidding. I'm just kidding. Brekkie's on, Chris. Have you done your research? Research? This is a pandemic podcast. We don't have time. If the world's ending, I'm not going to be researching. I don't use hashtags. I use hashies. Only hashies, bro. Only hashies. This is feeling like mean now. Like I don't want to be, I'm going to get like fired from my con. They're going to cancel my book tour. Got it. We got to call it. Let's backpedal. The book tour is already canceled, but I understand. All bets are off. Yeah, that's true. Anyway, Australian breakfast. Yeah, it's like eggs and avocado. I don't know. I'm not a breakfast person. But the yolks are better in Australia somehow. It like originated there in like the cafes on like. you know, on the, on the shore board or whatever. I don't know. Like down in people with tan. Yeah. Good looking people that are extremely fit eating like avocado smash down to like a sick piece of bread. You know, I mean, honestly, that sounds pretty idyllic to me like that. The scene you just said, well, I mean, if you're not, you're lying. I mean, I'm not into it. And I, I think it's actually a trash food. Wow. Avocado trash food. Avocado.

Toast specifically, but avocado to me, I'm not. Take it or leave it. Yeah, take it or leave it. If I never had one again, it would be fine with me. Never have I ever needed one or wanted one. Do you just not like the mushy texture? Yeah, I don't like soft food. I feel that way about jicama. I love jicama. See, jicama I will fuck with, absolutely. Jicama tastes like water. Looks like... Yeah, but it's... hard water cool hard hard water is is the name of my new mixtape it's not easy to get into i don't think guys see i the reason i'm here is so this didn't turn into some food dork shit and we're 10 minutes in and you guys are talking about jicama do you guys like netflix To be clear, I have not led this conversation into food territory once. That's true. I'm sorry that you're famous for cooking. Cry me a river. I mean, where are you from LA? I am. I am from there. What part of LA? Jason's also from LA. I'm from the San Fernando Valley. Wow. Flex. I'm in Glendale right now. Oh, cool. I love Glendale. Glendale has great supermarkets. Thank you. I agree completely. That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to him. Very, very cheap bushels of herbs here in Glendale. Yeah, they've got amazing diversity of market, I feel like. Garbage bag full of dill, eight cents. I didn't know that, Jason. You've never taken me to these fucking markets. Why would I take you to a market? Because you don't like to go check stuff out. He wants to know what's going on. He does like checking stuff out. I don't want to cook because it's dirty, but I want to look at the ingredients. That's fine. How do you feed yourself right now? I have somebody doing that for me. Oh, wow. That's spectacular. I need to ask you this as a professional, but how do you deal with the cleaning? Do you just get used to that shit? It's so gross. Why is it gross? Because it's just fucking gross. I'm doing a bunch of dishes right now.

I don't like it. It's gross. Chris, I would rather clean a cup that I had tea in than my toilet or under the couch. No way. I'm talking about a cup of tea, dickhead. I'm talking about a full meal. You're talking about that caked on casserole, Chris? Exactly. You know those southern delicacies when the chicken skin's stuck. You know what I mean? I just can't get on. No, I just don't. I just don't. It's so gross to me. Like the smell of food bothers me. I just want to eat it. I feel like that sounds like a disordered eating situation. And I feel like that's a different conversation. No, it's about – He's got a food. It's not gross. It's not gross. It's a part of the process. And I feel like it's also about like what you're making and like how long after you've cooked are you attempting to clean? Well, I thought you were supposed to clean – I thought you were supposed to clean like during and then immediately after. Yeah, it's called clean as you go. Clean as you go. You're clean as you go. Oh, if you give me a catchphrase, now I'm in. Okay, I got it. Yeah, clean as you go, baby. But Chris, everyone has their Chris Black-isms. I don't want to ever really fry fish in my kitchen because that smell is going to linger for like four days. So I won't do that. Yeah, there are certain foods that I refuse to cook in my own home. And that's just because like... A, I find them to be too much effort. They're annoying. It feels gross to me. It makes my place smell bad. But yeah, I have limits too. I'm not just out here willy-nilly. Anything goes. I have limits and standards too, just like all of you. I'm glad to know that about you because I felt like you were really willy-nilly-ing us right now and I'm glad to know that's not the case. No, there's plenty of shit that I simply will not do. In fact, my dream is to have... um a segment on somebody's podcast where i it's just like three minutes of me uh someone reading a recipe or like explaining something at a recipe and i just say like yeah i'm not gonna do that because there's so much out there that exists that even like i will simply not do and i don't think you should either but i get why people think cooking is annoying because a lot of shit is annoying

I mean, but life is annoying. You know, we need to pick our battles, really. Oh, oh, I guess. Oh, okay. So we don't want to clean these disgusting and gross. But, oh, but life is annoying. Well, I'm zooming out now. I'm zooming out now, Allison. I'm looking at the world as a whole. And it's like a lot of people don't want to do the shit I do either because I do some wild shit myself. What do you do? First of all, don't come on this podcast disrespecting me. I will have you know he does a lot of wild shit, okay? Emails, Barry's boot camp, online. I mean, I'm a psycho about exercise, which a lot of people would look at as completely. Do you want to talk about that? Because that feels exciting to me. Because I'm like a recent fitness head. How recent are we talking? Since quarantine? No, like since December. So what have you been doing? Let me guess. Get the book tour body in check. Oh yeah, you want to... That's your version of the Coachella body. That's what I'm talking about. No, are you doing... You're either doing like Sky Ting or Moda or... Sky Ting? Sky Ting's the cool New York yoga. That sounds like a Drake EP. Allison, am I wrong or right? I do do Sky Ting, but I also... Okay, okay. Are we doing like fitness bingo because I do like three other things. Okay, continue. Are you doing want to guess? No, no, no. I don't know. Are you a member of Rise Nation? No. Are you a dog pound thought? No, but I would. I wouldn't not. I would too. I would bust it down for a dog pound membership. No question. Pre-quarantine, I do Sky Tank, but I primarily do hot yoga at a place called Tangerine, which is in... Where is it? Oh, Bormhill. I love a hot yoga, too. I've been going to a place near me in the East Village called... What's it called? It's got the stupidest name. Well, you haven't really been going to anywhere lately.

Well, no, that's true. But hot yoga is the best kind. The sweat is what I really crave. I've been doing hot yoga at the crib. We got the space heater set up in the office and we get a nice blast going. Something I recommend. Sweat all over in a public place. I love it. I feel like the post-quarantine routine is much different. I'm curious what you're doing because I feel like if you're as dedicated as you say, then how are you approximating? First of all, I felt the doubt in your voice, and I'm here to prove you wrong. Today, while you guys were sitting on your ass looking at recipes, I did an hour outside running, just getting the miles in. And then tomorrow, I'll probably do – Berries is doing IG Live, so I'll do a Berries 25-minute. Oh, I'm familiar. Do a 25-minute Berries blast and then go outside and do some sprints and finish with another 10 minutes, 15 minutes of abs if I'm being serious, serious. Um, but it's more for my mental state because I'm starting to unravel. So it's not really about, I don't know. I don't know. The benefits are, are two folds, you know, the bod and the brain. Um, which is, which is, I think, did you, were you like an athlete at all when you were younger? Were you into sports or anything? You weren't. So this is all new for you. Well, in high school and in middle school, I was on like, I was like on the team, but I wasn't, I wouldn't say it was a, uh, pivotal member of the team. I wouldn't say that they relied on me for anything. You're like, I got a jersey on. I'm here. Yeah, I was on the basketball team, the volleyball team, the soccer team, the swim team. Are you tall? Yeah, I'm 5'9". Okay, that's pretty tall. We're talking Jason's 6'9", and I'm 6'4", so you're talking to two tall fellas. Oh, wow. Great for you guys. But neither of us have ever been on a team. That was my point. I've never been relied on either. We just wanted to let you know we're two tall white guys, Allison. I can put a little feather in my cap another day. Another duo of white men who have a podcast. We're tatted up too if you wanted to check that out.

we can do the tat the tat tour is only for our only fans account which is a separate separate than this separate from this podcast yeah i feel like that would require a donation or something that would that's why you made me turn the camera off i guess exactly exactly allison venmo me five dollars i'll let you turn the camera back on uh so you are you doing are you able to do you have space at this place upstate to do this yeah yeah we're doing like i'm Yeah, trying to do, like, one class a day, and we're doing, like, either, like, there's, like, a local place in Hudson that's doing these, like, you know, HIIT classes, high-intensity interval training, if you're unfamiliar with the acronym. Like, Rumble, which I'm shocked you didn't guess, but that's what I do. Wow. So there are public places that are open? People are going to? No. Okay. No, they're all like either Instagram Live or Zoom. Oh, got it, got it, got it. Like yesterday, some friends and I, we like bought a private class from one of our Rumble instructors. Oh, that's actually cool. I didn't know they were doing that. It was great. A lot of teachers are doing that because they're out of work. What's the ticket on the private though? What are we looking at? It was $25, which is not cheap. But you get all the homies to pitch in like a UFC fight on pay-per-view. Yeah, I think it's probably cheaper than more people join. You're saying $25 each or $25 total? No, each. Oh, yeah. I'll pay $25 each. No sweat. That's good. Yeah, it felt good. Because you're augmenting with free classes. Yeah, for sure. It's still cheaper than what you typically pay on boutique fitness. Do you have any equipment? Are you doing body weight? You got anything up there? Yeah, I got a jump rope. I got a jump rope. I got a few weights. Hell yeah. You know. A couple of eight pounders. Cool. Feeling extremely chiseled these days. I feel like I'm just like hoping to come out of this at a net neutral, you know, like I'm, I'm not sure that between everything else I'm doing to my body, like I eat alcohol is actually, but I do think that like mentally it's, it's good.

Mentally, it's very good. I think also, I mean, at least you're upstairs, so you can get some fresh air and walk around and do all that stuff. I feel like open spaces make this whole situation a little better. Maybe you need to switch the alcohol out for a lower-calorie, mind-altering substance. Have you ever tried cocaine? Have you ever tried cocaine? It's this little thing. It helps with weight loss. I love going up to Hudson and just getting a bag. I got two eight balls before I drove up to Hudson and a carton of cigs. How has the quarantine affected your drug use, Allison? It really hasn't. I would say that, if anything, I'm a person who enjoys eating mushrooms and doing that. in small doses is actually great it doesn't mean i stopped drinking alcohol um but like you know we went on a little hike the other day and like had some mushrooms and that felt like an activity in and of itself it was also just yeah amazing um yeah but in terms of like the raging part i actually haven't been hung over in 14 days so while we're drinking daily i'm nobody's getting like absolutely trashed which i keep like last night i was almost drunk Like really drunk. And I was like, tonight's the night, guys. I'm getting wasted. And I just fell asleep. Tonight's the night, guys. Are you ready, guys? I'm getting wasted tonight. Yeah, that happens to me every day. Yeah, it's like when you're in high school and you're like, gonna lose your virginity. And it was super anticlimactic and I couldn't do it. Then 8.30 rolls around and start getting a little tuckered out. Yeah. exactly yeah what's your what's your what's your what's your core schedule looking like are you rising early are you sleeping late like what's the what's your approach oh no i mean we're i'm waking up around eight every day i would say okay i have a i'm a shit sleeper and i you know like any given night i'm waking up at least once for and staying awake for like an hour hour and a half so i feel like i'm just cobbling together blocks of time where I could be asleep for an extended period. What's the cause of your shit sleep, do you think? I don't know. Probably anxiety. Maybe alcohol. The impending world ending or the lack of Zans. Oh, I got those. I have those. Yo, she got the Zans on deck, baby. Damn, Allison. Allison, can we talk about some type of trade, like a bartering situation?

Well, I'm not using Xanax recreationally. I'll have like a half a Xanax that I bought in Mexico to help me sleep if I'm feeling like I can't do that on my own. I mean, that counts as recreation. Yeah. Well, when I hear people doing Xanax in a party sense or people excited to do Xanax, that doesn't track with me because I take it and literally fall asleep immediately. It's like a sleeping pill. Well, that's because you've never been in the booth with a new Metro Boomin' Beat in the headphones. Yeah, we are not the same. Yeah, we are not the same. Player, we ain't the same. Some people can appreciate not being able to stand in a party situation, you know? Yeah. Unfortunately, I love Down. I love Downer so much I had to stop, but I do think they're perfect for this moment. yeah i i guess i don't like downers as a as a general rule it's like never been my choice of drug and i i don't even really like uppers i like i i i'm kind of like a mushrooms or or wine person oh so you're just a modern woman i love it what about hitting the bomb Oh, my God. I thought you were a real Cali chick. Come on. You hit the bong every once in a while. I don't hit the bong. I don't understand why people smoke weed. I take two hits of a joint, even still in a 34-year-old woman who's been smoking weed for many years. Sick. And I fall asleep immediately. I'm not intelligent. I'm not sharp. I'm not any of the good things about my personality. Sometimes it feels good to turn the intelligence and sharpness off for a couple hours. Give it a break. I don't like that. I want to feel more charming and sharper. I think you got to burp the starter every once in a while. Let a little air out or else you're going to explode. I don't think, Jason, I think you're wired a little more mellow than definitely me, and it sounds like her. Yeah, I would gather that. It's that Orange County bloodline, bro. It's just completely mellow. Oh my God, are you from Orange County? Whatever. You're talking to Huntington Beach Mayor, them jeans, right now. I'm from the OC, yeah. Where you are currently? Where are you now? You're in Glendale. I'm currently in Glendale.

How do you guys know each other? Internet, drugs, and... No, probably from Nightlife, I would have to say. Oh, Nightlife, racy. Wow, a couple of bad boys here. Well, I don't want to get too far into it, but Jason was a well-known nightlife impresario in Los Angeles. I don't know if you've ever heard of a little thing called Cinespace Tuesdays. Maybe you've heard of it. Maybe you've heard of DJ Steve Aoki, one of his oldest friends. Allison was there turning up. I was there. I was there. I used to do a lot more drugs when I was younger. And then I was like, wait, these make me feel so bad. And then I stopped. Which L.A. private school did you go to? I went to Chaminade. Thanks for asking. No, thank you. We need to get that on the record. I just thought it was important to cover. Did you go to college or did you just free ball? I barely went to college, honestly. I went to Santa Monica City College for about a year and then I transferred to Santa Cruz and then dropped out a year later. Then I started working in restaurants. Santa Cruz is a great place to drop out. That's how I felt. I felt like I needed to go to Santa Cruz for the vibe in that place to encourage me to drop out. What kind of music and what scene were you in in college? What kind of music was I used to? Were you like an emo chick? Yeah, absolutely. I may have a photo to show you if I can dig one out. What were you into? Are we talking about taking back Sunday and cool stuff? Not that angsty, more, like, get-up kids and, like, bright eyes. Yeah. We have more in common than I ever thought. Yeah, I know. Look at this. A budding friendship. I can't wait to be a regular on this podcast. I would say, like, anyone on Saddle Creek. Saddle Creek is, all right, Saddle Creek put out a lot of garbaccio. Oh, yeah, yeah. But, I mean, like, I was, like, a Conor Oberst fan and, like, you know, Milo Kylie. What do you think about him leaving his wife for?

Notorious babe, Phoebe Bridgers. What? Did that happen? That's what I'm hearing on these streets. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Stop. Well, I thought when they recorded that album together, I was like, well, there's no way they're not fucking. 100%. Impossible. Impossible. Well, you need to fuck for the vibe to be right, for the music to be right. Yeah, I completely agree. I completely agree. But who wants to fuck Connor, you know? I think a lot of girls... grew up with him you would though if you had the chance now i wouldn't i was never sexually attracted to him actually i was yeah but into his vibe but if he pulled if he pulled out a guitar and sang some of the hits no he was always like a little soft for me yeah why would you want to have sex with him when you could when you could smash a dashboard confess that's exactly that's a real man yeah he was like a sideburns and shit that was because he also had like you could tell he was like He would cry over you. And I feel like Connor would just cry over anything in general. Well, to be fair, Chris Carraba was an elementary school teacher in South Florida and a Christian hardcore band beforehand. So he definitely would cry over you. And a notorious bottom. No, definitely a bottom. But you should look at him now when we get off this podcast. He looks fucking insane. Is he insane in a good way? No, no, no. He's had, he's had like fillers. He might've had a facelift. He might've had a full facelift. He looks insane. I couldn't, it's, it's incredible because he has a new record. He had like a new record come out. So I was, I won't be listening. I simply will not be listening. No, I won't. I didn't even try it. Usually I'm down to sample. No. Yeah. By the time like all, like I sort of had maybe one album with him. I wasn't the person who followed his career and like was dedicated. I was pretty fair weather. Like, I grew out of it and never looked back. It wasn't like, yeah, but I still pop that on every once in a while. Like, I don't. I've moved on. It's done. It's history. I don't. It's not part of me anymore. I have to say that the Get Up Kids is still on my running playlist, and I would say it holds up. Really? Which one, specifically?

This is MASH. It holds up. I still feel that way about a lot of Death Cab for Cutie, actually. Okay, we got to draw a line there. Okay, thanks, Allison. It's been fun. Allison, if you want to give your Instagram, it was really great chatting. We do not fuck with Ben Gibbard on this podcast. He's a fucking dork. Wow. Wow. Holy shit. You guys were going to go to bat for fucking taking back Sunday? Yes, 100%. Not I. Chris will. Adam Lazara did heroin like a true rock star. Ben Gibbard married that fucking, what's the girl he married? What's her name? Zooey Deschanel. That's the worst. That's the worst. It's the worst because now she's going out with a property brother. But she's a human, she's a human Etsy page. Like it's so dark. Yeah, it's pretty bad. It is bad. But he, I have to, I have to give him props for being a sober king who now runs marathons. So I do, I do like where he's gone. At least he's not sad. It could be worse, I guess. Oh, wow. That's, that's intense. But you know what I mean? Like the aging rocker. He looks young. He looks good. You know, at least he doesn't look like 20 years older than he is. Yeah. At least you can like value him for his appreciation for his own appearance. Exactly. Well, if I can't look at, if I can't like the music, what am I supposed to do? I mean, I have to find something. You sound like my like super shallow grandpa right now who like only valued people for like, unless they were not fat. Well, not all people, just people I don't like. I'm trying to find something about them that I don't appreciate. Tell me more about this very cool grandpa you have. Yeah, your grandpa sounds very cool. Speaking of property bros, what are some TV shows that you're watching right now that are just really bad that you can't stop? I actually don't watch that much TV. I watch TV at the end of the day. I watch one thing.

We just finished Tiger King, obviously. Modern classic. I actually, so I grew up going to a place that was very similar to Big Cat Rescue. Oh, wow. In California? Yeah, in the valley, in like Tujunga Canyon. So I felt like a special affinity to the storyline and like the characters because I felt like... Oh, these were like my mom's fucking friends. This is like very close to home. It was extremely hard hitting. Was your mom friends with like the owner or is this just like a place you visited? No, she was a volunteer. So it was a place called the Wildlife Way Station and it was a nonprofit for a place that animals would go that, you know, from a zoo that foreclosed or celebrities that own wild animals as pets. Did your mom lose an arm as well? No, but she was part of the canine enrichment program, meaning that she walked like all the wolves and wolf hybrid. Damn. Wolf hybrid is fire. Yeah. So she led these tours on the weekend because it was, you know, nonprofit, et cetera. And I would go with her and like lead the tours of like her like earnest nine-year-old assistant. And anyway, it was just like a wild fucking place. And I didn't realize how fucking wild it was until I became older. And then I watched the documentary. I was like, this is absolutely nuts. And I lived this. You know, as I've lived with the documentary more, I watched it, of course. I find it, it got dark. It got too dark for me, I think. Extremely dark. The suicide of the second husband, really, it took a turn. Was it suicide? Was that definitive for you? Because we were like, was it an accident? I think that was an accident. I mean, I've never done enough meth to kill myself, but I do think it could happen. I'm glad we have clean audio of that great quote. But having that footage of the campaign manager seeing it, it's poetic. It's insane. Also, today, March 31st marks the last day we're allowed to talk about this Netflix show on podcasts. You're right. We've all done it too much. Okay. We don't have to talk. I mean, I felt like it was cool. No, no, no. I want to keep talking about it, but I'm saying after this. No, I don't. I don't have anything nuanced to contribute to the Tiger King conversation, only that I lived very weird. So you know how to tangle with a wolf is what I was saying. That's correct.

yeah um but beyond that i haven't watched anything like no series that i haven't like picked up a new series so what are you doing just chatting with your friends and doing some wholesome cooking like what the fuck are you doing no we're cards against humanity are you playing are you playing fucking board games don't tell me you're playing board games did you subscribe to the criterion collection No, you fucking asshole. No, we're watching things. We're like watching a movie or what we watched. We started Fosse Vernon on Hulu, which is great. I love it. I love Sam Rockwell. Would do. Yeah, he's amazing. And I feel like, you know, that none of us have, or that all of us have not seen and starting from the beginning is challenging. Can I tell you a Sam Rockwell story? Oh God, I've been, I'm so horny for your Sam Rockwell story. I live in the East Village, and I think he does too. And I saw him on a Saturday morning with a coffee get out of a chauffeured Escalade to buy dog food and get back in the Escalade and take him home. And I was like, damn, brother. Damn, them studio movies hit different. That's the life I'm trying to live. Well, don't you think he would just have someone to go get the dog food for him? Why is he even getting out of the car? No, because he's probably like most, you know, most salt of the earth actors struggling with his fame and fortune. And he's having a hard time. He's living one leg in our world and one leg in Hollywood. You know, some people like Instacart and some people want to go and touch and feel. You know, I don't know if I want the lamb and rice. Do I want the salmon? You know how. Yeah, sometimes you want to be seen by the people. You know what I mean? It's like if you go to Whole Foods, Allison, you get bum-rushed and you can't, you know. I can't go to Whole Foods. I can't go to Whole Foods and I can't go to a Madewell. I can't. That's just not where I don't talk about that anymore. I can't. The thought of you going into a Madewell and getting mobbed is so good. It's so cool. You've made my day with that. You have made my day. Yeah, it's true. I don't go anymore.

Damn. Well, that's better for your style, too. So that's good. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Across the board, it was something that I stopped doing. A decision that just had to be made. Just had to be made. Exactly. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Are you able to – do you feel like – Jason and I both shaved our heads this week because we just didn't know what else to do. Yeah. Are you reaching a point where your gel nanny is going to have to come off? Oh, it already came off. It already came off. I'm rocking a three-day-old regular-ass manicure. Uh, that was just like regular nail polish. And I feel like an absolute popper. What are you going to do? Like, what are you going to do about your hair? Are you going to just let it rock? Is it going to stay blonde? Like what's going to happen? I haven't been blonde since July, but, uh, but yeah. So I went back to brunette, which is my natural color. Wow. I thought, I thought the blonde, I was under the impression that blonde hair was like a signature of yours. Um, I mean, what? I guess it was, but it was also not my real hair color and my hair was getting really damaged. And I was like, this feels weird to me. And I felt like I had been like lying to people. I was like, like people would be like, oh, you're blonde. I'm like, well, I'm not really blonde. And you know that because it's very clear that I have dark roots. But I don't know. I was just like, I'd never been an adult with brown hair, my natural color. I kind of wanted to know what that would feel like. I think the maintenance of full hair coloring seems like a real job. Oh my God. It's so fucking expensive. You spend hours in the hair salon, which like made me feel like I was really not making the best use of my time. And I felt, I don't know. It was just like, yeah, six hours. I wanted to switch it up. Six hours on a Saturday at Sally Hershberger is not the way I want to spend my time. I'll tell you that. I agree. That's why I had to buzz. That's why I had to buzz. But for you, yeah, it's easy for you guys. You can, it'll grow back presumably. I don't know what your host style is normally, but.

Well, mine's pretty short. Jason has a beautiful, he loves to talk about it. He has a beautiful head of hair for his age because he's inching to 40. And he's got a beautiful, he's got a beautiful, beautiful head of hair that has to do with partly some of his Mexican background, we believe. He has a little Espanol in him. Chris was worried about when he buzzed the head that he might have. maybe uh some lumps or like some uneven surfaces but for me the problem is my head is too round it almost looks like perfection is a problem for jason yeah i got that but you know like it's like when somebody has veneers and like when the teeth look too perfect it's it's off-putting like that's kind of what your head is looking like right now no i totally get it i love like the problems that men have that like they're like what if what if i shave my head and my head is What if I lose 5% of this full head of hair? What will happen when I turn 40, a completely arbitrary age for a man? I completely get it. Hey, I'm not going to stand for this. I'm not going to stand for this. No, I get it. Thank you for seeing our side of the coin, Allison. It's really nice to feel seen by someone. It feels good to be valued. We don't talk about it enough. We don't talk about it enough. We really, we really don't. I don't think that the, I don't, you know, my head looks fine, but it was a risk. You don't know. Cause you've never, I've never done it before. And it's also like, we don't, we don't really have anything else to think about right now. So I'm like, all right. I just, I just want to interrupt you real quick. I just want to say you're so brave. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. And that's the reaction I was hoping for. So thank you for backtracking and finally giving it to me after the fact. I appreciate that a lot. It just could have really gone the other way. And I'm just really happy that it worked out, Chris. We didn't know each other. This is a cold call, essentially. We've never met. Like I said, I've never met you before. I've just been berated with marketing materials for your projects. As a fucking 37-year-old white man that lives in New York City, I cannot go anywhere without hearing about your ass. So I was like, let's just uncover it. Let's see what's going on.

Let's look under the hood a little bit. You know what I mean? What's really going on? Let's just really see what's going on. I told you that. I think I said that on Twitter. I was like, I literally can't avoid this shit. I don't even know what to do. I don't cook, and I can't avoid it. It's so exhausting, I'm sure. I know. There is an element for me, even though I'm like, I'm sick of it, but I'm like, oh, so I want more of it. Yeah, you're sick of it, but then you're like, damn, the bank account, boom it. Let's ride this train. The proverbial bank account is booming hard. You don't go into Madewell anymore because you ain't got to fuck with that broke boy shit. You're at Chanel now. It's a little different. You're getting collection. You're buying right off the runway now. Yeah, I'm getting... Spiritual collections, absolutely. Spiritual collections. Well, Allison, if it's not booming financially as much as we thought you were, then what about the DMs? Walk us through the dating life. Well, it's interesting what you think like how any of the things that you're seeing would translate financially. But I guess it's like long game financials, right? You're building your character and your brand. Right, right. We know how Hollywood works. You're going to get the Netflix show and then from there it just goes. Exactly. That's true. That is true. The DMs are extremely active at this moment. I can't really spend that much time on them only because there's just so much of it and I think that that sort of trend of people that do what I do of reposting other people making their own recipes or people do that with anything. here are people talking about the thing that I did can be great, but it's also like a little gross. And so I don't really know the worst thing in the world. I cannot handle it, but I know that you kind of have to do it also. Like I understand from a business perspective that it's important for people to feel seen. Like, I don't do it anymore. Like I feel like I did it and I was glad to do it and no one else was doing it. And now everyone does it. So I don't, I'm just like, that feels weird to me.

It's also exhausting. For me, as a person who would consume that type of content, I'm going to be like, you're trash. I'm going to absolutely unfollow everything about you. How do you be the kind of person that you would want to engage with and not be annoyed by is really challenging. That's a struggle I go through every day when I wake up. I can really relate to you on that. Do you have to get a Finsta account on Instagram? have one but i am kind of too tired to use it like it feels like why would i use it what if i just didn't post a picture yeah well wow that is actually a revelation that's great advice for all of us what if i just didn't post it what if i mean think about that yeah would the world stop we have to we have to ask ourselves who cares like more than a few times a day when we're doing shit and i feel like that is like with everybody doing instagram lives i'm like do you need do you need to Sounds like these mushrooms are working, Allison. I like what I hear. They are. I haven't done an Instagram live yet, but I feel like I'm going to do something, but I would be attached to someone bigger than me. So I would see a gain. I wouldn't just do it to do it. No, no, no, no, no. Yeah. And I've done it with other people to like, as a, not a favorite to them, but like a friend of mine who owns it. spice company and who's, you know, who I want to support. I was like, sure, I'll do it with you. And then like, I did one other one with like the wing or, you know, it's like, okay, sure. But for the wing one, for the wing one, were you just talking or were you cooking or a little bit of both? No, but I cooked while I spoke. Yeah. Were dudes allowed to watch? yeah they were it was open to the public that's bullshit that goes against the fucking whole thing i that we need to block if they're gonna start letting because i know they let men in now right like kind of well it's sort of i i don't know exactly what the rules are i think it's like however you identify and they can't technically say that men can't come but they're like

read the room sort of situation. I've been in there when there have been men present. But like a regular ass bro, like me or Jason, cruise in and ask for a latte? Or like, come on. That's crazy. No, that I haven't seen. What'd you say? I think they're going to let Chris in with his perfect loafers and his overcoat. I think you'll be just fine, Chris. I don't want to go where I'm not wanted, Jason. You're not going to be scratching your nuts in the lobby like, what up? Where's the freaking shitter at in this place? I heard Hillary Clinton's here. Where is she? Yeah, no. That's not happening. I don't know. I don't go there anymore. I don't go anywhere anymore. Yeah, so besides taking drugs and doing yoga, what are you, like, what's the plan career-wise? Are you, like, what are you doing? I am working on a show, which sort of is now, like, on hiatus because, you know, I mean, we're still, like, in pre-production, but that's not going to last very much longer. The Alison Roman Variety Hour or, like, a cooking show? It's a cooking show based on a variety hour, actually. It's a hybrid. Damn, welcome to Hollywood. I'm Chris. I'll be your host. Are you allowed to say what network? I don't know if I am. It's with Hulu. You can bleep that out. As long as it's not a Quibi, that's all I needed to know. No, no, no, no, no. It's like an actual legit show. I think they're announcing it in the day. I fuck with Hulu. I do too. Yeah, it's been a great experience. I'm really excited and I feel like it's been in the works for so fucking long, only to have it be completely castrated at this moment. Did this happen after the book or before or during? What was the timeline? After dining in, before Nothing Fancy. Okay, in between. Yeah, yeah. Some version of this has been percolating for a long time, and it just kind of took meeting the right people that I wanted to work with that wanted to work with me. Walk me through the Alison Roman team. We got lawyers, agents, managers, social media managers, personal assistants. What do we have? What's the squad looking like? What's my squad? I have a manager. She's in LA. Her name is Molly. She's amazing. Who's she with? Mosaic.

Okay, continue. I have a lawyer who's entertainment law, but she also looks at contracts and stuff like that, but primarily had her come on for the purposes of handling the stuff with the show, because I do not have an agent, and that's by design. Damn, why not? CAA won't answer your calls? What's the problem? No, I won't answer their calls, baby. Let's go. I don't think I need one. Yeah, you do. It's just cruel to have one. It's another person taking money from you for work that I'm already doing for myself. I don't fucking need people to get me work. I'm all set. I could see Allison being a master negotiator. She doesn't need that. Well, I take meetings with them and it's sort of like, well, what can you do for me? Like, why would I give you my money? Like, why would I have to represent me? And they're like, it's just like never been a compelling enough answer to say yes. Do they give you the whole, like, I mean, I think the only thing that I think is impressive at William Morris, at least, or excuse me, Endeavor, is that they do the full, you know, if they care enough about you, they can do every little thing, which is nice to do that in one place. Oh, absolutely. I just don't think I'm famous enough for that. I think I'm sort of like in this weird in-between where like... eventually I might grow my, grow my team to like warrant that type of person. But I think right now I'm just not, I'm too small and too specific. So, so you're saying with this TV deal, the lawyer, you and the manager negotiated together. Correct. Yeah. Okay. Yeah, that's fine though. I mean, I think that's Chris loves the, loves the workings of, of showbiz more than anything. Well, it's the same way I like restaurants, but the food can be whatever. I just like the scene. You know what I mean? It's been cool and definitely an interesting perspective shift coming from magazines and newspapers. It feels like you're in an entirely different universe, which is great. Yes, also they got real money, baby. This is different. They got real money. That's right. They don't pay by the word. Yeah, exactly. Keep your little $2 a word, bro, boy. I call it Hollywood. Yeah, and then from that, I have a part-time assistant and she helps me with emails and calendar stuff.

Wow. I was going to apply, but I guess the position's filled. I mean, listen, if you can offer me something better than what she does, but we'll see. Well, I'm a genius, but that's, I mean, whatever. Are you going to be filming the show in New York or LA once it comes back on? It'll be in like the New York area. Oh, so you're going to Connecticut. I love that. Yeah. We've got a whole studio building in Connecticut just for me. It's going to be amazing. Did you do all the, you did all like the late night shows, right? When the book was hitting. I did Seth Meyers, and then I was supposed to do Colbert next week, but that got moved because... Can't you just do it on IG Live? I might do an at-home version at some point. Yeah, I think that's cool. I actually like what the late-night guys have done a pretty good job. Even though they're mostly unbearable, I find that having the kids around and making it shorter and having the killers perform in their bathroom is a little more entertaining. Yeah, I agree. I think it's a weird time that we're going to be glad it's over when it is, but for now, it feels somewhat charming and as authentic as you can get. I sadly think that America needs that to an extent because it makes things feel normal for people that really rely on that stuff. It's the same reason network news is booming because it's confident almost, even though the news is all bad. Even Cuomo's daily appearance, people are like, oh, thank God. Thank God you're here. Wait, so Cuomo... So hold on. Cuomo has nipple rings. Confirmed. No way. No fucking way. Absolutely not. Did you study the picture? I think Cuomo bought him. I think he's a freak. No, absolutely not. I think most people accept the fact that he has one nipple pierced, for sure. I don't know. His wife is Sandra Lee, and she's definitely a freak. That's what I'm saying. I feel like anything is possible. I think a lot of people have a low-key nipple piercing. Old people especially. Yeah, you'd be surprised. Do either of you have a nipple piercing? Hell no. My brother had both of them, but not I. I've had a lot of other dumb. I mean, I had a lip piercing, so you tell me what's worse. Yeah, that's bad. Did you have gay tears, either of you? Jason did. Of course. Yeah.

I proudly did not somehow. So I didn't have to get a surgery, but I do have a, I mean, we both have a bunch of tattoos. I have two ears and a brain, don't I? Yeah, no, you already mentioned the tattoos. Well, I know. I just wanted to get, yeah, I wanted to figure, I wanted to fit it back in as another possible area of mistakes that we've made over, over time. That's why I like my tattoos as well. It serves as like a roadmap to the poor choices that I do. Do you have, do you have like a fork and knife crossed on your arm? No, I, the only, the only. You guys really liked that joke. I'm sorry. We like to joke about like the stereotypical chef tattoo of like I have like a whole like butchered cow on the forearm and then the other arm is like a sick ass chef's knife type of thing. Yeah, those are tight. Yeah, no, I don't have any of those. I think that no, I don't have any. Well, I do have a picture of a clam, but that's like it for my cousin who died like as like a. post-mortem situation which is like a dark story which you don't have to get into but that is the only food related thing and it's like vaguely food related i feel like do you have are you tatted up like do you have hella hats no i've got one two three four five five chris chris only has one food related tattoo it's it's like a vegan power back piece he has since tried to laser off We're in the 10th week of lasering, but this Corona shutdown is keeping my vegan power tattoo shining. Oh, it's fucked. I'm trying to get the laser guy to make a house call like a Beverly Hills Botox nurse, but he's not. Were you or are you straight edge? I was for sure. Yes. Yeah. I was also vegan. I was vegan and straight edge from like 13 to like 19. Wow. Double threat. I love it. What do you know about that? I just know that a lot of people that I was friends with were also vegans. When you were in high school or later on? Yeah, in high school. And like my friends that were older, like when I was a senior in high school, my friends that were like in their 20s. Have you been to a hardcore show? Yeah. I pretty much exclusively dated guys in the hardcore scene for an extended period of time in my youth. This podcast is going another hour. Yeah, this is our fault.

I listen to a lot of events sevenfold for a guy named Matt. First of all, that's the darkest thing I've ever heard. Second of all, a big sevenfold is not a hardcore band. They're like a bad metal band that got signed to a major league. Actually, I went to elementary school and high school with all of those guys. One of my friends is still in a hardcore band. What band? Touché Amore. Oh my God, you're blowing my mind. I thought you were going to say a cool band, but you haven't yet. So I'm going to, I'm going to let you. It's not like a genre of music I listen to now, or it was even into when I did listen to it. It was like an embarrassing thing that I did as a young woman to like think that I had to do to get like a dude to make out with me. It wasn't, I'm not proud of that. I'm not proud of being a 16 year old woman growing up in the San Fernando Valley. It is dark. Well, we, we weren't proud of tricking emo girls into making out with us. If it makes you feel better. It does make me feel better. I appreciate that. Yeah. It took, it took a lot too. Um, but that's, I speak for myself. Jason looked like an idiot too, so I'm sure it took more, but you know, a lot of trips to Disneyland, my friend. Well, Orange County, Orange County in that time was a hotbed of hardcore culture. So I'm sure in the San Fernando Valley, you were, you were adjacent to that, you know? Yes, it was very much so adjacent. Damn. I was hoping you were going to be like, yeah, I saw him broken a couple of times. I thought you were about to drop some real gems, but she's too young for that. I don't know. Like, I don't know what any of the bands were considered cool. Cause I thought they were all trash. All right. Well, how about, let's play. Okay. Converge is cool. Converge is cool. No, but to me, they're the same. No, no, no, no. No, no, no, no. It's about the notes you don't play, Allison, and those two bands are very different. I would like to play a quick game of Allison names a hardcore band and we tell her if it's cool or not. So just whatever you have in your brain. So you started with Avenged Sevenfold. That's a hard no. And then you hit us with Converge. That's a hard yes. Touche amore doesn't even count. So next. Next. Fuck. Oh, Atreyu?

Oh, no. Oh, God. Oh, God. Okay, next. I don't know anymore. Look, Allison, don't be afraid. This is a safe space. You don't have to be afraid. You can say what's in your heart. This is absolutely not a safe space. This is like the opposite of a fucking safe space. This is a chaotic and dangerous space. That's all you have. Okay, well. It wasn't like my passion. That's what I'm saying. Like, I pretended. A lot of things aren't my passion either, but if I'm around it long enough, I just kind of pick it up. I mean, you know, it's fine. Oh, well, I simply don't have any more for you. Or you could name the band and I could tell you whether or not I've heard of it. Does that sound like a fun game? Much less fun. Sorry, that game's not going to happen. Next. Next. Everyone is next. Every single one. Allison, it was great talking to you. Oh, I feel like we really ended on a fucking sour note where you think I have bad taste in music. No, you know. Actually, Allison, what kind of music are you listening to nowadays? No, I'm not stepping in that fucking landmine. Why not? We're just two white guys who know a lot about music. We're ready to shame. And we hate it all. Unless you're not listening to 90s college rock or EDM, you're going to lose out here, sister. Do you like listening to Calvin Harris featuring Rihanna? Yeah, exclusively. I'm listening to a lot of Dua Lipa, and that's not a lie. And I'm so qualified for it. No, no, no. Same, same, same. We all are listening to Dua Lipa. I would listen to her do anything. This podcast is Dua Hive. Don't worry. Dua can bark like a dog, and I would buy it. It doesn't matter. Wow, what a progressive statement. I love this. Oh, come on. That was a clean joke. Give me a break. I'm tired. You're coming at me and I'm not going to stand for it. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. I cannot wait to listen to this again one day. One day. One day. Allison, it comes out tomorrow. She can listen to it then. I think I will end this episode with a little Dua. Do you have a specific Dua song that you want to?

I've been vibing the pretty please. Got it. Okay. Okay. Noted. You got to play like the bridge. Like it begins very slowly. Also noted. Thank you for clarifying. Wow. Thank you. Thank you. Honestly, this was a real pleasure. And I'm glad you're holding up okay in the woods because this is a difficult time for all of us. Chris, would you like to send a message or an apology to all of our listeners who are discovering us for the first time because of Allison and need some type of... I'm not directing anyone to this one. Absolutely not. My listeners are pure and true and wholesome. Allison, just give us a little RT. Come on. Allison, please. This is you showing your other side that you're multidimensional. I really appreciate that. You will thank us later. I'm pretty much only saying yes to podcasts when I know they're not food focused. Okay. Then Allison, do you want to give a shout out or an apology to all of your new found fans who have just discovered you from us? I'm sorry. That's that. No, I mean. Other than the hardcore thing, I feel like it went pretty well. The hardcore thing was cool, actually. I really liked that because I think I wouldn't have expected it. It was a nice little surprise for us. I feel like we can just keep recording for an hour and just replay the past hour and go bit by bit of where we went from. It's like a Google Doc or all. That is for Patreon subscribers only, Allison, and I'm glad you brought that up. Yeah, if you want to send feet pics, those are for the Patreon subscribers too. So just let us know. Love it. Happy to help the cause. Thank you so much for taking the time to do this. We both really appreciate it. Thank you. Thanks for including me in your weird little world. It's really a pleasure to be here. Thank you. Allison, can you let the listeners know where to find you on the internet? You can find me literally fucking everywhere right now. I'm just kidding. My Instagram handle is Allison E. Roman. That's Allison with one L. Thanks. Yeah, to find Allison online, just open up your computer and it starts showing up.

Yeah, there she is. If you're hungry and you type in pasta, my name will probably come up at least for the next week and a half. It's a nightmare. I'm riding that wave. Can you believe what the Italians are going through right now and then you come in and steal pasta from them? It's unbelievable. It's embarrassing for me, honestly. I'm not saying I deserve it. I'm riding the wave and I'm happy to help, but yeah, it's wild. Happy to help. All right, well, thank you, and we will talk to you soon. Amazing. Thank you, guys. All right, bye. Bye. oh you look so pretty