014. - Chris Black & Jason Stewart

All right, this episode of How Long Gone is brought to you by Stateside with Kai and Carter, a new podcast from The Guardian. And they are using this podcast to slow down the news and wrestle with the questions that we all have about what's happening in the world. And they do it three times a week. Jason, does that sound familiar to you? We don't really talk about, you know, a lot of international global news items and climates and cultures and sports and things like that. We do talk about fashion and wellness, but for everything else, Kai and Carter are a great place. All right, so who couldn't use more news? Listen wherever you get your podcast. or watch on YouTube. Want to make a podcast? Spotify's got a platform that lets you make one super easily, then distribute it everywhere, and even earn money. We like that. All in one place for totally free. It's called Spotify for Podcasters. And here's how it works. Spotify for podcasters lets you record and edit podcasts right from your cellular telephone or your computer. So no matter what your setup is like, you can start creating today. Then you can distribute your podcast to Spotify and everywhere else, those other places that podcasts are heard. Video podcasts are also available on Spotify. And when you want to take conversations with your fans to the next level, Q&As and polls are the best way to get them talking. With Spotify for podcasters, you can earn money in a variety of ways, including ads and... and podcast subscriptions. And best of all, it's totally free. Zero catch. We've been using it ever since we started How Long Gone. And ever since I discovered Spotify for Podcasters, I feel like having the option of turning off the Q&As and the polls on the user dashboard has really helped boost my creativity and take it to another level. I highly recommend giving it a try. Download the Spotify for Podcasters app or go to www.spotify.com slash podcasters to get started.

Hey, big boy. There we go. Oh, man. How are you, bud? I'm pretty good. Just ate some lunch. Went for a long, sunny walk. Slurping on some mud. I love a mud slurp. I've been buying some high-end beans, you know what I'm saying? How high are we talking about? Not that high. I mean... I'm ordering within Canada so that they deliver within like a month radius. So it's not my boy. I'm trying to support local businesses. My boy, Sam James in Toronto. Is it sub $20 or above $20 for? I think it's $18 for the bag. You know what I'm saying? $18 is mid. So can you? All right, when we get done with this... It's not mid, but it's... You said mid, bitch. What do you mean then? Well, I mean, I guess it depends on your definition of mid, you know, because literally mid is short for middle, I guess, like mid-grade. Yeah, yeah. Thank you for that. Well, I was just setting up the rest of that sentence because with marijuana terminology, mid has sort of... taken on a connotation of it's just bad quality just like it's it's that's true mid is low it should be low what is the you know like there's gas there's mid but there's nothing there's there's only two is that like uh is that like the there's the classic or trash world that we're living in it can only be Well, there's like shake and like dirt weed, a term I remember from my day. Yeah, but I mean, yeah, there's skunk, there's dirt weed, but like people don't say that anymore. People only say you either have gas or you have loud or you have mid. And if you have mid, it is bad. Well, maybe what you're saying then is that loud is the best, gas is actually mid, and then mid is actually trash.

If you're right about that, everything about this world, I don't want to live in this world anymore. I just blew TJ Mai with a little weed tarp. You know what I'm saying? I'm not even going off the pack. Back in the day, mid wasn't so bad. Middle class, mid-range sedan. That's true. It was mid. It actually meant what it should. A Toyota Camry is a fine, respectable car. It is not just some bad, bad car. Bad car. You're right. Bad, bad car. Bad car. You're right. My coffee spending has gone down for sure. Just like everyone, we haven't purchased a cup of Joe in a store in what seems like months. I mean, I'm dying for a fucking professionally made cup of mud right now, boy. But is it changing you to where you're fine with just having a plain black pour over drip coffee? I mean, I would have that sometimes anyway. I don't even like lattes. Who needs the extra cows? You know what I'm saying? We're not in high school anymore. Yes, yes, yes, that's true. But I do like the idea of going in and getting a $9 latte somewhere with a quite pricey alternative milk. But it's good to go out and when you go to a proper place, get a proper espresso with a little bit of cream in there. That is a nice thing. And when you treat that as a treat and just drink plain black mud every day, then it's good. You know what I'm even thinking about, Jason? And this is truly core times. Just thinking about a Madeline, maybe. Like a nice. A Madeline cookie? A warm Madeline, maybe pistachio on the side. Jesus. With a double espresso. Maybe I'll do a cheeky dunk. What if I dunk? A dunkaroo? I'm the Michael Jordan of the Madeline. You know what I'm saying? I'm going to put it through the hoop. Michael Jordan of Madelines can only be somebody fat.

You're not fat enough to be the Michael Jordan of Madelines. Oh, fat enough, bitch? What does that mean? Do you want to be fatter? No, I just think... I see what's going on. Yeah, God, dude. Sorry, you're too thin to be the Michael Jordan of cookies. I think a Madeline, though. I know it's technically a cookie. But to me, it's somewhere between – Choose your next words very wisely. Go on. I feel like it's more muffiny. Am I wrong? Help me, food God. Answer my questions. Madeline is – it does have a little bit of that poofy, muffiny softness to it. You don't have that snap of a short biscuit. No, it ain't a snap. You know what I mean? When you bite into it, it's soft. I don't, I mean. You really have been thinking about Madeline's, haven't you? Mate, it's true. With a spotty, you know what I mean? Also, it's a good cookie because you need a special utensil to cook them in. You have to buy a custom pan. A Madeline pan. I actually knew that. I actually knew that. I bet your fat ass did. Bitch, oh my God. I'm going to come through this phone, boy. Man, Jason, you know. I love talking about Madeline's, but I think we need to talk about the rollercoaster of emotions this podcast has put us both through in the last 48 hours. Yeah, I mean, I've been letting it wash over me. Maybe I've been repressing it more than you have. You wear your heart on your sleeve, and I'm working on coming out of my shell more. It is time for you to come out, I agree. Yeah, we had some... some setbacks because of big, big podcast media conglomerates. We're not into what we were up to over here. And we, you know, when we started the show, we created some artwork that was inspired by artwork from another podcast called The Daily by the failing New York Times.

Yeah. Even though that podcast is, is very popular, quite, quite big. I've never listened to an episode, but I have listened to like the syndicated NPR version of it. Like when it's on the radio and the amount of people that the, at the end where they give the credits to, have you listened to this? Oh, it's like 150 people. It's like a fucking encyclopedia. Like. That's the only thing I have to comment on. I'm sure it's a great award-winning groundbreaking show. I can tell you all about the podcast if you'd like me to. There's more credits for this fucking podcast that they make every day than a Scorsese film. What's going on over there? How many people do you need to make a fucking podcast? I mean, you know, some would say two, if they're both geniuses, some would say a hundred, but I think it's more because of the speed in which they have to do it. And the level of, I agree it's, it's overkill, but I also think it's like the speed and how I think they have to run it on like a 24 hour crew. Yeah. I mean, they're definitely operating it as like a network news show, like, like newsroom, the show, you know, it's just a constant buzz of activity and they're cranking out. I forgot about it. Forgot about Newsroom. Big gas. But, you know, the thing with that show, and I've told you this before, but friend of the show, Matthew Schneier, who used to work in the New York Times and now works in New York Magazine, wrote the New York Magazine expose on the Daily. And the only thing that makes that snooze fest interesting is that the extremely white Brooklynite male host was gay when he started the show, had a husband. left the husband for the female producer of the show. Bro, that's wild boy shit. No one goes back. Only in podcast world would something like that happen. It's absolutely unhinged that you would go from dick. Have you seen the woman? Yeah, she's alright. Is she a baddie? Is she a pot baddie?

She ain't a pod baddie, but we ain't seen the husband, though. You know what I'm saying? Because the husband could have been a dwarf. He could have been hitting a fucking thumb. You know what I'm saying? And then this chick comes along, and they're working late hours in the stew. They love the news. She's telling him to talk even slower than he already talks. That's the whole thing this guy talks. He talks like he's on fucking lean. It's so slow. It's so insane. It's so performative. He's got to make a... a podcast every single day, so he has to slow his words down or else the whole show will be done in 12 minutes. That's true. It'd be even faster. Do you think they could sell the rights to the story to get A24 on the line? i mean it seems like a very modern tale but unfortunately i i think he's probably too woke and boring for it to be like interesting actually i mean you know what i mean hollywood likes to sing we'll we'll jazz it up a little bit we'll jazz it up if i were to you know it'd be cool if he was like yeah i was just done with the dick you know what i'm saying i saw some other shit over here i wanted to smash but it's probably some unfortunately you know overwrought long-winded like emotional bullshit i think it's less of like him switching his sexuality and more of probably the the the podcast glowing up and then his partner not being able to handle that and then you know one one is on a glow and the other one is like oh your little podcast is doing well and then and then suddenly we're not they're not so attractive anymore this has never happened to me before yeah wow jason this seems Wow, bro. Chill. We don't need to bust it all open on episode 13 or whatever this is. People want us to bust it open. Don't worry. That's true. To be very clear and, of course, open with our listeners, we received a cease and desist from the New York Times Corporation based on this artwork that we made that somewhat resembled their little show.

And because of the nature of the claim, and in my belief, where the claim was originating, it immediately zapped our podcast. We were locked out. We couldn't post a pod. Yeah, I mean, you know, when the Daily starts swinging their big dick around iTunes, you know, things are going to happen. And we got caught in the crossfire. But if you're listening to this episode, then you have noticed the artwork has been updated. And people seem to like the artwork a lot. It was only a matter of time. We couldn't really exist with jokey artwork forever if we wanted to have a legitimate podcast. That's true. No, that's true. And you're right, Jason. And thank you for being the mature one to understand that. We have shed our skin. And 2.0 has arrived. That's why we needed to do this State of the Union without a guest because there was so much to comment on. Exactly. And then in other unfortunate news, we had a guest and we recorded a full show. And that was unfortunately lost to technical difficulties. Yeah, you know what? That's happened to every podcast, though. It's every podcaster's worst nightmare. It's happened to me before in the past, and it's always a fucking nightmare. But, you know, you show me one pod bro or bra who has recorded a series, and it's definitely happened to him. So at least we got it done early. We got it out of the way. Luckily, the guest, even though he's a superstar, is a friend of the show. So we'll probably be able to do it again in the near future. But, you know, I think that the reality is if you really love a podcast, you're not here for the guest, Jason. You're here for the fucking host. It's true. I mean, I was, you know, after talking to some friends over the last few weeks that we've existed, you know, people have said, you know, they like listening to us just for.

kind of the general banter between two friends. That's sort of the little magical slice of life that's happening, which I agree. It's interesting to listen to that when every other podcast is like, oh, where'd you go to school? What was that like? Yeah, I agree. I mean, I think there's the familiarity between the two of us that is obviously intimate and goes into a... Also, is the word pause okay? I think pause is also. I don't think it is. I don't even know anymore. I mean, honestly, what is okay at all? We're recording, by the way. I'm serious. What is okay? Yeah, so there was a time, whatever, like five to ten years ago when you would hear people say the phrase, no homo. Very popular in the hip-hop community. Very popular in the hip-hop community. And then it was just a thing that a lot of people started saying as like a funny joke with no ill will behind it or no hate against homosexual people. And then that kind of went away and then people started saying pause, which... Isn't really offensive, but it could be considered offensive if you know the root meaning of it. So is there a new way of saying that? Or there's no way of saying that correctly anymore? I'm going to say there's no way of saying it correctly anymore. And I guess as there shouldn't be? Yeah, no, I think we should have graduated from that as a society. I would agree. And so what was happening before No Homo? Did people just say like, not to sound like I'm gay, but, and then they would say. Yeah, basically. I think so. I mean, I was watching The Office last night. Big surprise. No, they have a great episode from season two about like a diversity training episode.

And one of Oscar, one of the guys that works in the office is gay and Michael outs him. And it's just, it was kind of insane to see it on TV because that's like how, the way people used to talk is pretty crazy when you think about it. Not that long ago as well. Not that long ago. Not that long ago. I think that's a thing that a lot of people are learning in the quarantine as they're kind of diving back into old movies and television shows. How shit was very... They were letting it fly not too long ago. Not too long ago at all. Even watching Frasier or something. They let some offensive shit spray back then. That was considered an intellectual comedy as well. Yes. Intellectual and woke are two different things. Mind equals blown. I agree with that now. You know, I don't know, man. I'm just, I'm feeling, yeah, I was feeling defeated earlier, Jason. I really was, man. I felt like we had defeated the crooked New York Times and we were coming out on top. And then we had this fucking SD card malfunction. And the silver lining, I guess, is that I get to fucking chop it up with my boy one-on-one for public consumption. You're welcome. Just look at it with eyes pulled back, with eyes wide open. Even in a week from now, you will have forgot all of this has happened and all of our listeners will have forgiven us. That's kind of the beauty of the news cycle that we have created. That's true. I mean, that's a double edged sword. If we release the best episode we've ever released and it comes out, it's going to be a great afternoon on Twitter. The mentions are going to be explosive. And then the next day it's gone. If we release a very bad episode where we say really terrible things, people will have forgotten about it a day later. It's true.

It's true. It sucks to say that because I want that dopamine hit every fucking day. That's why I produce all this stupid content. It's not for money. It's definitely not for money. It's just for that dopamine hit. It's just like creating your editorial content so your commercial work comes in. Exactly. I have a little bone to pick with you. Not you, I guess, but just in general. So I've been buying a lot of fucking groceries, right? Because the restaurants aren't open. Can't wait to see how this is my fault, but go on. Yeah, because you're like a grocery guy or whatever. Grocery guy? I'm one of those guys who needs to eat food to survive. One of those cats who goes to the store where they sell the food and then you buy it. But I think that I... at this point i haven't totaled up yet but i'm pretty sure it's more expensive to shop at the grocery store than it is to eat out i really do did it really depends it depends on a lot of bro i'm blowing a fucking bag at the local organic market and that's fine that's what i want to be doing because i'm not going to go to some shit grocery store i i cannot i i really find that hard to believe because uh you know i will spend maybe a hundred dollars a week at the grocery store on on shit and That's not if I'm buying natural wines or big ticket olive oils, but just normal shit. I'm dropping $100 a week or something like that at the grocery store. Bro, I'm spending $100 every three days, dude. But before you would spend $100 a day breakfast, lunch, and dinner eating out, wouldn't you? Yeah, but that's fire. I get atmosphere with that. You know what I'm saying? I get atmosphere with that. Well, atmosphere or not, it's still $100 a day versus $100. Nah, I wasn't spending $100. I mean, shit, maybe. I don't know, man. I just want restaurants back, bro. I think that's what it comes down to. There's a hole in my cold, dead heart where restaurants used to be. Well, I mean, there's no solution because any type of Band-Aid on that problem is going to be worse than...

than anything could you imagine having a zoom dinner party with people fuck no that shit is dorky as this zoom shit is dorky as fuck bro like zoom i'll download zoom for a bag or for berries anything else you can get the fuck out of here with that bag or berries that's it that's it that's the name of my mixtape but i don't i don't understand i don't understand it like i don't like does that make you actually feel closer to people like i don't know if that would work for me I think you and I don't possess these parts of our brains where it delights us to see other people, I guess. I don't know. I mean, I love to link and build with the fam. I do too. But no, I'm the same way. I really have no interest, no desire to whatsoever. And thank God my girlfriend is the same. Because that could tear a relationship apart. Absolutely. I mean, the best part is I haven't been invited to any, just to be clear. So either I put the word out or people don't want to see me either. So I don't know which is which, but I do have a Zoom call tomorrow, work-related. So that'll be my first time using the platform, and I'll be happy to discuss it on a later podcast. Yeah, we can't wait. For a Zoom, it's like, what else are we going to accomplish that we couldn't have accomplished on a phone call? I think with work shit, there's some sort of accountability stuff. You know what I mean? Yeah, there's accountability. There's screen sharing. I get it. I think that's why AA is thriving on it, too. There's accountability. You have to show up and be seen. You can't. It's like fake it in any way. You know what I mean? Or you're more engaged, I guess. You're talking about American Apparel? Yeah, exactly. Dov's new platform. Yeah, the accountability thing is definitely huge. And the only way I've really seen that in action is with Zoom fitness classes. But if it's just a picture of your face and then a little bit of your shoulders.

how are you going to prove that you're doing work like sit there and look like you're staring at a screen done yeah exactly yeah exactly which i i sit and look at a screen all fucking day with no account i don't need accountability for that i do that i do that shit for free maybe that's my life some people do you're that's why you're a successful freelancer but other people need to be watched i could probably be watched a little bit did you watch the the snl work from home I didn't watch the whole thing. I watched a few of them on Twitter. But what do you think? It was a nightmare. It was that bad? See, I thought what I saw was fine. There were a couple moments where I chuckled. I don't know. I've listened to some other podcasts and hear some comedians talking about how the attempt to do live Zoom stand-up shows or comedy things. is just so it just doesn't work because you don't have the audience there you know and then when they when they did weekend update they did they had like a zoom laugh track like they had some of their friends watching it along so then when they told the jokes yeah yeah but it just sounded like like four women from bushwick who were doing it so like every single joke it was just like So all four of Michael Che's fucking Tinder dates in the last month laughing on the, I, you know, I watched, uh, John, John Oliver and Bill Maher and John Oliver doesn't have a laugh track and Bill Maher does. And it's, it's so strange how used to laugh tracks we are. Like it, even, even now that we don't have them, um, it's, it's, it's almost disorienting to watch a show like that where it's like host to camera with no laugh track. Yeah, it's fucked up. and i need the laughs i need that married with children style laugh track exactly and then when a hottie comes on screen i need all the boys in the back to go to do a dog a dog whistle oh yes yes a classic but i i don't know what in the my my girlfriend is saying like if snl can't pull it off then who can but i think do you think do you think they maybe went too ambitious

I mean, I think what they were doing, the only thing that they could do, which is basically like, hey, you guys have, you know, you guys are all trained professionals. You're the best people in, you know, in America at making these sketches because you have the best job in America for making sketches. You have an iPhone. All these kids can do it on YouTube. So go for it. Yeah. And I don't know. It was just, I think the differentiator here is they were making these little like. funny spoof videos and tick tock dances and parodies and youtube skits but those are all things that are enjoyable and entertaining when you're watching on instagram or twitter yeah basically it's good for like free shit but it's not it's not good in my opinion it's not good enough for you expect more from comedy comedy professionals You know what, Jason? I've learned. I don't expect much. Not from comedy professionals, but for paid content. I pay money to Hulu so I can watch this show. I demand a little bit more. Wait, did you have to pay for it? No, I was already a Hulu member. Oh, so it was live on Hulu. It's not live on Hulu. They put it up the next day. But also the Tiger King show, they did a recap episode with Joel McHale for some reason. I heard he was a dick and people weren't fucking with it. He was kind of a dick, but how could you not be a dick? I was fine with it, but it was a little odd. My pendulum has swung so far on TK that I couldn't even be bothered to watch it. Everyone was like, the mania of the show is so crazy that they're actually going to put out another episode. They're going to feed the streets with more shit. I'm like, okay, I'll watch that. It was just Joel McHale FaceTiming all the cast members and being like,

Wasn't it crazy when that freaking tiger bit? Yeah. And they're like, yeah. By the way, Joel McHale's ripped as fuck. I'm into it. His hair is very fucked up looking. Yeah, his hair. I think he got some work done. But his body, he looks good. Body looks good. He's an Atwater head. I see him around a lot. What do you think he does now? Like, what does he do? Besides holding on to trash show community. Community is the most overrated show ever. I've never watched an episode of it. Couldn't be me. It's not good. But when something like that goes away, then people want it more. It's a supply-demand situation, I think. Deprivation marketing. But they've been talking about it coming back for like five years. I'm like, guys, shit or get off the pot. You think Donald Glover is going to fucking come back and do your little broke boy TV show? He don't care about you, dude. He might. Maybe he'll have some more kids and he needs to get a baggie. Damn, that's right. Yeah, that's true. Good point. When I was watching the Netflix show, I was like, I pay money to subscribe to Netflix for this crazy quality of content. Irishman or whatever. All these wild ass flicks. And it's just two people talking with AirPods on Netflix. I'm like, this isn't good enough. Just don't do it. Just play old movies until you figure it out. They got to do something, dude. And the numbers will show that it's working and TJ wrong. Yeah, I know. This is all obviously just my personal opinion. And they're only creating content in the way that they can. They're very handicapped right now. So they're making an effort. So that is cool. But I feel like it's just not. If I was running Netflix, I'd be like, no, not good enough. Just do this shit on Instagram Live. Do it on some YouTube stuff, but don't try to market it as a new episode of Netflix where people pay hard-earned money to subscribe to. Don't worry, Jason, because luckily for you, I believe there's a new Chris D'Elia special on Netflix. So you'll have plenty of content to giggle at. I would rather watch Chris D'Elia do stand-up than that SNL from whom shit, I will say.

damn that's fucked up bro that's the that's the that's lower that's lower than i thought you could go family um i've i don't think i've ever seen delia stand up but i know he is very polarizing well i just think i mean i've listened to the podcast a few times and he just sounds dumb but when i really was out on it is when i found out he was a sneaker head and i was like this guy's talking about yeezys like comedians trying to be swaggy at all is truly unachievable I think, well, I think they, now that comedians reached like influencer, like DJ bro status of like private jets and Lamborghinis, they, you know, they don't know how to handle stuff. So they're like, I guess I should be buying Yeezys. I guess I should wear like long, long tees and Yeezys. Yeah. And it doesn't help that they're all from LA where long tees and Yeezys can get you pretty far. It can get you pretty far. He's also got long hair. I feel like long hair with a long T is just like, that's a lot of long. You know what I'm saying? Too long. Pick one, dog. You need to pair the long stuff with some short stuff so the long looks longer. Damn, Jason, you're a prophet, bro. Mm-hmm. Yeah, I think that's why people shave their pubes and stuff like that, you know? Wow. No, we do not talk about that kind of crude stuff on this podcast. I know, I know. I take that back. I shouldn't have let that fly. It's okay, Jason. Anything for a joke in these difficult times. But yeah, I really don't know what the future of content is going to be because... I think we're in the middle of a mad dash of what is going to go on. How is outdoor voices going to make their vids? How is Vogue going to do their shoots? All this shit. I don't think they are. I think that's the thing. There was a Vogue business article last week about how this is going to be good for influencers. That's the argument I keep. I'm like, guys, do you not see how this is going to be even better for them than it was before?

They operate on their own already. This is truly the time for influencers. That's why I am now an influencer. I wanted to say it officially. How does it feel to have those words leave your breath? Honestly, it's overdue. Companies, if you want to send me stuff and then I'll put it on and post it on Instagram for a fee, just let me know. I think that I'm more of a content creator and you're more of an influencer. How do you – is that because you're the AV guy on the show or like what do you mean by that? Why would you say that? I think because you as an influencer, you get – brands give you money to post about stuff. That's not true. I've never gotten money to post about anything. Only because you have amassed a lot of followers from your pics of chairs and doorways and stuff. And then TJ, watch your fucking words. Content creators, you know, we, we create a product. We create art that is then, um, you know, given in exchange for goods and services or money or products, lotions, things like that. I got a lot, I have a lot of lotions. Okay. I got a lot of lotion. Um, I think that, I think that. First of all, I've never been paid to post a product. I just post what I love and people respond to that. And if you're jealous of that, you can take that somewhere else, dickhead. Wow. That sounds like a verbatim Logan Paul quote, but go ahead. I'm reading my Logan Paul script right now. I don't know. I just post what I love and then everything works out. It's true. I don't know what you create exactly, but besides being the former boomerang king of Atwater, I don't know what you've ever given us besides a funny tweet once every six months. What do you think your boomerang is? If my boomerang is a blind spot on my road to where I am now, what do you think your boomerang is?

Dude, fuck, I don't know. I mean, I've done so much dumb stuff. Like, so much dumb stuff. But, you know, I've gone so deep into Twitter before, and I never really used hashtags, which is really surprising to me. A few, of course, are strays, but, like, I never went through a hashtag phase. Did you ever go back and scrub old tweets? No, I didn't. No. I mean... I should have because I had literally a six-month period where all I did is look at Twitter and write a book, but I didn't do that. I got lucky because my account got hacked a few years ago and I lost almost all my old tweets, which is good. Did you have some messy stuff in there, Teach? No, I mean, nothing was ever offensive or harmful to my career or future, but it was more of just the rudimentary things that people would tweet. 10 years ago are embarrassing as fuck. Like it would, I would, yeah, it's definitely embarrassing. Like I would put a, like on Instagram, like a grid photo of like, like a taco that I'm eating and be like talk epic taco for the wind. And it would have eight, eight likes on it with like a, like a heavy filter. And that, and that is a post of, Somebody who is quote unquote cool. Like imagine how bad normal people's shit was when they first discovered Instagram and Twitter. I mean, I've scrolled back pretty far and there's nothing too crazed. You know what I mean? Good for you for having that level of restraint. I don't know if it's restraint or if it's just, maybe it is. I don't know. I think the brand is just strong and I've made mistakes in other arenas. Maybe I'm just not as cool as I thought I was. That's definitely true. I could have told you that before we started down this fucking long road. Okay. Yeah, boomeranging was a bad one, wasn't it? I mean, you were the boomerang king of Atwater. I don't know who called you that, but that stuck. I feel like that was like a thing somebody actually said to you. It was on some podcast at some point, and it was a funny burn.

I don't know why I thought boomerangs were so cool. It's bad. Well, I mean. Boomerangs are so bad. To be fair, I think a lot of people thought they were cool. Yeah. I mean, people still do them. Do they? Yeah. Okay. That's crazy. I still see like a loose boomerang here and there. And when you see that, it's like, I mean, I guess there's probably like 17 people listening to this right now who have boomeranged in the last week who are. Thinking about eating a whole bottle of Advil, driving a car off the cliff. If you've boomeranged in the last seven days, go ahead and hang up now. Go ahead and unsubscribe. Yeah, go ahead and hit blast that unsubscribe button. I don't know where the unsubscribe button is, but go ahead and hit it. Shit, man. Shit, man. So I finally got some masks yesterday. Do you feel safe? I got an N95. Only that good shit, baby. Top shelf, purple label, mask. I've noticed that it is too small for my face. Yeah, they're not comfortable. That's the thing about these masks that they aren't telling you. The big mask is not telling you. These shits are uncomfortable as fuck. These things that you wear to save your life? I hate them. When you go to the hospital and they give you stitches and you're like, I don't love these. Is there another option? It really is not the best. I wore it on a bike ride. I went on maybe a 15-20 mile around town and I was wearing it because everybody else was wearing it and it was a fucking nightmare. That was so foggy. It was very hard to breathe. No, it's stupid. I'm not going to wear it to exercise. I'd rather die. I think, I think it's just a matter of when you are exercising, you're just, you're going extra. You're not doing just six feet apart. You're maybe you're doing 16 feet. Yeah. I mean, I, yeah, I, I would, but I mean the mask thing is, man, I hate them. Oh my God. They're so uncomfortable. It's hard to breathe. It fogs up my fucking glasses.

They were fogging up my Oakley's, man. It's fucked. Exactly, bro. That's what I'm saying. And then you're supposed to put them in a rice cooker to disinfect or reuse them? I think, look, let me just say this. There's levels to this shit. And I draw the line somewhere. I'm going to wear a mask in public like I'm told to, but I ain't putting it in a fucking microwave. I went to the weed store a couple days ago before I had the mask. Damn, dangerous living. And they were like, the weed store was the first place I have been in the quarantine where they required you to wear a face covering. And the irony of going into a weed store with a bandana over my face, a month ago I would get a gun pulled on me and now they won't let me in without one. damn it's just it's just it's so weird walking around with like a black bandana across your face like like a bad boy i i don't like it i mean i really don't like it's it's i mean no one does but it's just uncomfortable i think some people some people must i bet you there's a lot of people like bandana twitter is probably like yes finally i can that's true bandana twitter is lit as hell you're right they've got They've got vintage bandanas coming out their fucking ears right now. No, you're right. But was the weed store absolutely litty? The weed store was very lit. The weed store was probably the most efficient store I had been to out of any shopping. I mean, I've only been to a grocery store or a pharmacy for stuff. But those places, it's just like the Wild West. There's no rules. Nobody enforcing them. No social distancing. Everyone doing a free-for-all. And the weed store, it's just like you can't touch anything. They don't even let you smell the nugs. Damn, you just got to pick nugs off rip, like off-site? Yeah, you can only look at the nugs. No nug sniff? No nug sniff, no nug holding of the jar, no inspection. All you can do is just point and say, I want that one. And then there's like little feet markers on the floor.

where you have to stand and where you can't stand. It was very impressive. So what did you cop at the weed emporium? I just got two eights, indica and a sativ. Damn, bro, you're a pussy. Two eights. How much were you buying at a time? Bitch, that's a blunt. Like, that's two blunts, basically. That's right. I thought, Tam, I thought you were cooler than this. What do you, I mean, How are you hitting it? In a pipe? No, no, no, no. I just roll J's. Sick. What? Smoking a joint is not cool? Just because you're a blunt boy? No, smoking a joint is cooler than other stuff you could do. I don't know. People are doing wild shit. I think that smoking a joint is the coolest way to smoke weed. I think that a blunt is a little OD. If you're a pussy, I agree. I think a blunt is number one. Joint is number two. I might even say bong number three. And then pipe four. But I used to use a pipe because it's the easiest thing to do when you're smoking weed alone. But a bong is actually cool. I have two. Because you get blasted off a bong. Bong is definitely the most efficient way to get high as fast as possible with the least amount of weed. You can just put one little baby nug in there, give it a real big dog rip, and you have a nasty little wet cloud. Well, that's disgusting. And since you have all this free time, why don't you make a gravity bong out of a five-gallon bucket from Home Depot? Fuck, I'm never going to gravity again. Gravity is the real shit, bro. Gravity, you feel like you're going to die. Yeah, gravity is not good at all. I did it at a Christmas party one time. I really thought I was going to die. Damn, how old were you? Probably like 19. Yeah, I feel like that's my gravity bong years. We're like 19 to 23. It would come up more often. Yeah, it happens in your friend's parents' garage.

Yeah, definitely garage. I feel like the guys from cartel were heavy into the gravity bong for a little while. It's so weird how smoking weed is so not social when you become an adult. When you're a teen, it is completely social. I would only smoke weed with the homies. You're only squatting up in a parking lot in Orange County and passing it around. And now that I'm an adult, the last thing I want to do is be high around people that I know or not. I just want to be in the crib solo with the office on repeat. Yep. I get it. Look, it's funny. You know what I mean? It's a funny show. Okay. What else do we have on one on our docket? I was going to talk about tie dye, but I don't really have anything. Do you think tie dye is, I thought tie dye was going to die a long time ago, but it still is holding on. What do you think it's going to take to kill tie-dye? I think once we finally break away from streetwear in general, I think it'll go away with that. I don't think there's any signs of streetwear slowing down ever. No, there are, Jason. I mean, obviously all of this has been disrupted now, especially considering that streetwear are the easiest clothes to make. So I think people are going to be leaning into that now with the situation we're in. When the shows, I mean, it was like fashion fashion was moving away from it, for sure. And sneaker sales are plummeting right now. Dying. Really? Yeah, because it's, I mean, that's the last thing people need. Like, except these fucking dorks that have bare bricks and cause toys. Like, who's going to be copying? I mean, like, it's just, I think I saw some crazy figure like 80% down from last year or something. Sneakers? Yeah, because, I mean, you're not sitting at home. copping sneaks right now i mean i almost copped a pair but i didn't but in theory like you're not doing that i mean have you been were you gonna cop um well i was gonna cop some some converse that were on sale uh i saw i saw i usually hate sale but i feel like everything's on sale now so i should take advantage you know what i mean i usually hate sale you know i hate sales i know i know

So, I mean, do you really think that just streetwear, streetwear is going to, at a certain point, come to an end? I mean, it won't come to an end, but it'll just crawl back into its hole and live in its own little world, you know? What do you think will happen to Supreme? Oh, they'll be fine. They're going to be Nike. Like, if they open enough stores and do it right, they can thrive. So then, the same way sneakers turned into just shoes? Do you think the same thing will happen where streetwear just turns into clothes? Yeah, very possibly. Yeah, for sure. I mean, you know, most people, I mean, wearing a hooded sweatshirt and sneakers is pretty easy to do. I don't really see that. I think the trendiness of it could go away, but the necessity of it will never. Yeah, at a certain point, they're just kind of basics. It's just threads, bro. For example, if I were to cop a full sweatsuit from Talentless. you know, uh, Scott Disick sweats brand. That's time. That's timeless. No logos. It's timeless. Like it is, you know, I didn't know that Scott Disick has a clothing line called talentless. It's actually pretty good from what I've seen. It's just blanks. It's just like, it's like garment dyed sweats. It's easy light. So it's, it's like mad happy without a mad happy embroidering on it. Yes. Because mad happy is an actual criminal. What do you mean an actual criminal? Mad Happy should be put in jail for being corny. It hurts the eyes. I mean, that shit is absolutely insane. But also, like, of course that's working. You know what I mean? Yeah, I think – I mean, I don't think that streetwear is going to go away anytime soon as long as there are teens and young people. But I think – the trend of like the mad happy trend of disguising your brand that's rooted in commerce to be something that is, you know, greater than, you know, for the sustainable ecological future of our world or mental health and all that shit that I, that I want to die soon. I want a lot of things to die soon, Teej.

I mean, it's kind of like every year when there's pride and every brand just puts a rainbow logo on their thingy and say, we like gay people. Same thing, same logic I think is happening with all these streetwear brands. I don't even care about selling the clothes at Barney's or Essence or any of these companies that we sell our $500 hoodies at. It's all about... you know, mother earth is awesome and water is good in nature. It's okay. It's okay to be a capitalist. You know what I mean? It's okay to want to make money. Just sell the clothes and don't have it be about mental health. Yeah, it's okay. Or, or like if that's truly your platform, then write it, but don't be, don't try to fool anybody that you're like not in it for money. We're all in it for money, baby. Yeah, and it seems like all these mental health people are all rich and hot, like the people who are super proponents of changing the world and our collective mental health. Well, Jason, who are you going to follow into the fire, TJ? Somebody hot or somebody ugly? I'm definitely going with somebody hot. Depends on what they have to say. I'll follow an uggo as long as they are saying some cool stuff. No, fuck that. No bueno, mate. No bueno into the fire. Also, we haven't taken any questions. Do you have questions? Or do we even get questions anymore? Is that a thing that doesn't happen? No, we've gotten some. But, I mean, hold on. I guess I could look at it. You know, man, I just wanted to catch up with my mate. Chris is going through it. I'm going through it. I've had a tough – today was tough. But you know what? Big CB always comes out on top, and you never fucking forget it. Tomorrow is another day, Chris. We need you to pull together. Our fans need it. Also, do you think I've been doing a lot of research about people talking about podcasts in general being affected by the core. Have you noticed any new changes or trends going on? I honestly don't listen to podcasts, man. You really don't?

No, I mean, especially in this last month or whatever, five weeks since we started doing this and I've been displaced and not commuting, for lack of a better term, I haven't listened to a podcast at all, really. Do you think that if you were alone and just doing dishes or cleaning or something like that, you'd be listening to music or a pod? I've been listening to a lot of music, actually. A lot of music. partner enjoy listening to the same music no she likes you know little got it and uzi and i like you know jackson brown or whatever you know what i mean it's like so are do you guys segregate the time is is is old white dad music hours during the daytime and then then i mean it's mostly is at nighttime It's mostly CB. I just don't find Lil Uzi to be appropriate for any time at the house, really. I mean, I guess I kind of have to agree. I listen to sad shit or ambient shit at home because I'm just at home. What the fuck? I'm not trying to jump up and down or kill anybody. Is it weird listening to sad? music with another person around no listen said i'll no that's my no that's my culture so you never had a problem listening to some personal music with other people around all music is deeply personal to me jason i feel on a different level than you do maybe because you you know as a person who listens i mean you know you cut your teeth on edm which is you know for lack of a better term heartless music um So it's a little different for me. I'm just more in touch with my emotions because of the genres that I've been into for such a long time. And you're not afraid to hide it. Not afraid to hide it. So if there is some deep, deep, sad music going on, you will let it spray no problemo.

And you don't care if your girlfriend's like, what the fuck's going on over here? I mean, I only listen to that kind of music, really. So what are you supposed to do? She's trained and desensitized. Yeah. I mean, everybody in my life is. CB is going to put on fucking The Smiths and listen to it all the way through. And that's just what it's going to be. Maybe I need to start listening to The Smiths again. I mean, they're still the greatest band of all time. I have said before, that is the one band where... I will never get sick of hearing their song come on. If I'm just out somewhere and a Smith song comes on, it's always welcome. Whereas other bands that I love, I can go in and out of being in the mood for it. I'm never not in the mood for it. It's so weird. But I've also never been a true Smith fan. I've never seen it live. That's crazy. Do you remember when we went to the Morrissey night? Yes, I do. I have a lot of fun at the Morrissey night. That shit was fun. That was lit. That was very fun. That's the kind of things we did pre-quarantine. Should I post a 15-check story saying, I missed this, and then put up pictures of Smith's night? Definitely. I think those types of nights... I miss the most of ones where you can't go to it and just have a couple of brews and chill and check it out for a couple of hours. Everyone in your friend group has to be down. We're going to have a 4 a.m. wake up on the living room type of night. It's going to get sloppy. The first, my first experience with nightlife really was going to a thing called, you know, like an eighties night situation that leaned a little gothy, but like all the hardcore kids would go. Cause they would play the Smiths and Morrissey and like Susie and the Banshees and shit. And that kind of, you guys were into goth chicks probably. Um, not really, not real ones, but like adjacent, you know what I mean? Well, I've told you before, all the hot chicks and ATL at that point worked at Betsy Johnson. So you know what that, you know what the vibe is.

You guys had a Betsy Johnson there? Wow. Yeah, fuck you. Yeah, the hot chicks. I mean, it was my first girlfriend. One of my first girlfriends. Yeah, she worked there. Betsy herself? No, all her hot friends worked there and they all wore like, you know, they listened to Nick Cave and the Smiths and the Pixies. That's still hot to this day. I agree. You know, nothing is cooler than like PJ Harvey and Nick Cave. So I think my first club experience was also going to the 80s night. Where was the one in Orange County? I was going to LA. We would drive up every Sunday. I remember there was, what is that movie? Valley Girl. Yes. There was an older woman. I was like 18 when I was going. So I wasn't, maybe 17. I was not able to drink. Were you gone off the pills, though? No, no, no. I found an older woman who thought I looked like Nicolas Cage in Valley Girl, and it was like an 80s night, so I was probably wearing some 80s kind of clothing. This is insane. You don't look like that, but okay, continue. If I lose the beard and kind of have a little bit of a dopey expression with some messy long hair, I can get there. Well, the dopey expression is imprinted forever, so that you have. Also, if I lose 20 years, then it's a lot better. Okay, now we're cooking with gas. And every week, I would go find her, and she would buy me an adios motherfucker. I would have to give her money, but she would buy it for me. And then we would just make out for a while. Damn, wow, sick. It was my first experience with an older woman. Damn. I love that. Well, now it's hard for you because you're so old. So, I mean, you know. Yeah, I assume that Gal is no longer with us. No, she's that old? Jesus. No, no, no, no, no. No, she was like, I was probably 18 and she was like, you know, 23 or something, 24. So she's dead now because she was five years older than you.

She's no longer with us. I see. I get it now, TJ. I love when TJ makes it funny. But yeah, that was back when I would drink an Adios motherfucker because I didn't know. I don't know what that is. That is a Long Island iced tea with blue stuff inside of it. What the fuck are you talking about? What the fuck is blue stuff? Blue stuff, baby. Blue stuff, baby. There's a... There's like a liqueur called Blue Carousel, which is like, I don't know, it's like some artificial blue alcohol beverage. I don't know what it tastes like, fruit punch or something. But I guess it was big in like the 80s or something, and they would use it to make drinks blue. So it was just a Long Island that was blue. It was like tequila, vodka, whiskey, gin, ice cubes, and blue stuff. And I would drink that because I didn't know. That was often the only drink of the night for me. Because Old Bay would only buy you one or because you were so twisted off one? Old Bay would only buy me one and I probably didn't have enough money to buy another one. They were expensive. Were you blasting cigs? Definitely blasting cigs. Getting blacked out. And then the 80s room had the goth side room as well. What would be in the goth side room? Like full on? It wasn't like deep, deep goth. It was goth adjacent. Like Sisters of Mercy? Yeah, I guess so. It wasn't like full skinny puppy dungeon. And they probably played some like electro and stuff like that. But that's where you would go to try and get a little titty. You know what I mean? I do know what you mean, Jason. I do know what you mean. I never did something like that, but I do know what you mean by getting a little titty in the club. You never tried to do that in the club? I didn't say I didn't try. No, I didn't. Look, when I'm at the club, especially at this point, when I was at the club, I had my mind on one thing and one thing only. Selling Coke. No, doing Coke. I didn't sell any Coke. I should have, but not yet.

So your only goal – but I mean like the whole point of Coke is you do Coke and then you do – and then it makes everything else better. It makes smoking cigs better. It makes dancing better. It makes trying to get a little titty better. It makes doing more Coke better. Yes. Yeah, it's way cooler to do Coke at a club than chase chicks. It makes you think that your pickup lines are very good. Yeah. I mean I'm sure yours were brilliant at that time. a true poet i probably did not even use words just a series of glances you just did some sexy eyes across the room and they just fall apart no no no i mean like that was kind of the beauty of of like the all ages club where everyone is 18 drunk and you know hormones are are raging like All you have to do is just stand in the middle of the dance floor and then eventually someone will just start making out with you. That's true, especially if you've got the right jean jacket on. And I didn't. Damn, TJ didn't have the right Levi's trucker with the pins? No, I had that, but I never put pins on my denim jacket. I thought I was a little dirty. Yeah, I see that. You want to keep it clean. And I was pretty dirty. I bet you were. All right, Chris. Hey, Jason. We've done an hour. You know, man, it was honestly great to catch up with my king. This made me feel a little better after our whirlwind last few days of this podcast. Good, good, good. We have to remember it's not always about the guests. It's also about us, too. Exactly. Sometimes we just need a session, the two of us. You're damn right. On a normal show, this would be something available only on Patreon, but not us. Exactly, because we're not digital panhandlers like some of these other podcasts. Digital panhandlers. You know exactly what I'm talking about. Got their hands out and their Yeezys on. Hands out, Yeezys on. Please, sir. Please, sir. I need a new pair of loafers.

Yeah, those Gucci horse bits. You're paying for these Gucci horse bits. Come get the best content for free. We wouldn't wear Gucci over here. We got taste, boy. Come on. Chris letting it spray in the final seconds. I like it. Well, because I know the real heads listen all the way to the end, so you've got to save the best for last. Whitney Houston, boys. Thank you, all of our real heads. All right, TJ. I will talk to you on... Whatever. When are we talking again? Thursday. We'll talk to you on Thursday. All right, bro. Bye-bye. Later, mate.