107. - Chris Black and Jason Stewart

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hello tj what up chris we are recording coming to you live from my guest bedroom guys this is an unprecedented move this is how long gone episode what is it 106? 107, I think. Episode 107, we have finally broken the fourth wall. And unfortunately, this is how long gone after dark live from Glendale. Jason and I are in the same room. And unfortunately, due to a technical issue, we lost the episode we recorded today with our guest. We will be able to get said guest back on the show, and we will do that next month. So you're going to get another episode of me and TJ. cutting the mustard, shooting the shit, pinging and ponging. And honestly, that's what you guys come here for. So I don't feel that bad. I'm more disappointed in us for making an error because I'm a Virgo perfectionist. Yeah, and I'm a Virgo perfectionist as it pertains to things that aren't work and stuff. Sandwich making, things of that nature. But yeah, out of 107 episodes, there's going to be a couple. I mean, I'm sure. You know, I'm sure Ira Glass has hundreds of fuck-ups. It happens to even the most elite podcasters. And I'm not even talking about his personal life. No, he's definitely got some errors there. But, you know, it's nothing for us to podcast twice in one day. This is the first time we've ever potted when it's nighttime out. I know, I don't like it. And thanks to the failing... daylight savings it becomes nighttime i know this is like a bad bad twitter twitter trope but like the daylight savings time is fucking me up i gotta be honest it really is throwing me off i'm asleep almost before 9 p.m every night jason i was talking to somebody today um and she was like you know it feels like daylight savings like i don't remember it ever being this intense like obviously every time the daylight savings happens it's like a jarring thing yeah and you're like

oh, this is so weird, you know, whatever. But, like, this is, and I was telling her, like, I feel like, you know, somebody at Big Earth. I think that's God. But sure, go ahead. Somebody running Big Earth was, they went to go hit the button that does Daylight Savings, and they ran it up instead of running it back. And then it was too late. He's like a check, you mean? Much like the check. And it was too late to go back and fix it, so we just have to suffer. I'm under the impression that daylight savings time is literally made up and we could just not do it. Yeah, I mean, that's how many parts of the world, like New Mexico, doesn't believe in it. I'm going to say it's Christian or something. I mean, I get it. It makes sense. The Earth has a rotational pattern around orbiting the sun. Bill Nye, relax. No one wants to hear this shit from you. Stop. Melvin Nerdly, cut it short. Cut it fucking short. I know you don't like science, but this is not fake news. I don't like science. I don't like math. Maybe that makes me dumb. You choose. We were able to, though, do a full photo shoot and play tennis. We didn't have a full wash day. We had a little hump in the road. We recorded a full hour and a half long podcast, did a photo shoot, played tennis the tennis was in the photo shoot and now we're back to record another podcast and then when i'm done with this i'm going to edit somebody else's podcast And then I'm going to eat my first meal of the day. I'm going to go home and take a shower probably, but I'm sorry about that for you. But I do think it's been, yeah, it's been a, you know, we've been really on our grustle. And I got to tell you, TJ, even though I sound incredibly energetic at all times on the mic, I'm feeling a little stretched thin. I don't know about you. Yeah, I've been, didn't we talk about that the last time we did a one-on-one a little bit that I was feeling that?

Probably. Well, it's a constant feeling. Well, and you're feeling lonely, too. Yeah, I'm feeling... I walk into TJ's house. He's got the Christmas tree up. You know what I mean? Even though I hate it... What is that? What is that? I'm just singing Christmas songs. I'm setting the mood. The Christmas spirit in Glendale is fully up. It was also... It was up in Beverly Hills last night at dinner. It was, you know... Oh, yeah. We went to Mr. Chow last night, didn't we? We had to chow. Failing chow chow. No, I mean, Mr. Chow last night, of course, it's a movie. It's the best outdoor dining experience in Los Angeles because the streets in Beverly Hills are actually clean. So when you're dining on the curb like a plebe, it doesn't smell like urine or bleach. It just smells regular. My biggest takeaway is there are dividers. Every restaurant will build these little plywood things. awful like wooden thing and then they put like the the cheapest fake moss yes that you would get at michael's or something like that i know it's like a little like come on guys lowry did a terrible job boa was did a great job well boa didn't have to change anything but they they still said they had these custom-made plexiglass i think but mr chow It was a full custom bespoke acrylic separation device that was built. They definitely spent $10,000, maybe $20,000. Yeah, it's chow, baby. Look, that number pales in comparison to the art collection in the restaurant. But there was a celebrity sighting, which I did post on Twitter, which really shook me to my core. Larry G. Larry G, the most famous gallerist in the world, Larry Gagosian, strolling through, looking. Honestly, the man looked tan and rich. What is his ethnic makeup? He looks like he's a little bit of everything. I think he's Israeli, maybe. I think he's Israeli. But his look, he was wearing a nice blue suit, white shirt, no tie, looking very tan, looking svelte, too, looking trim. He was looking good, but he was showing his age with the way he moved and navigated through the public space. He ain't slipping and sliding.

he's not a spry spry old cat but he can really buy and sell us he's definitely had people killed 100 he's been on epstein's plane maybe yeah come on big lair lair might have sold he might have made money off epstein but i don't know if he got on the plane yeah i was watching some i forgot what it was but they were talking about how there's like the world of like when you when you buy like a 30 million dollar painting it's it's not uncommon to have somebody duplicate duplicate that painting to put in your house to put in your house and then put the other one in storage is that something that i mean that i was like that is like an absolute goal of mine that's what that's what a lot of women do with jewelry too it's like if you get the crazy engagement ring you like you get a fake one to actually wear because it's too right right right because like oh i don't you're a target kim k style i understand but also like what like At that point, what is the... What's the point of having... Why have a body? Why have a life? Yeah. Yeah, why anything? It's very AI, you know. But Mr. Chow, a movie as always. The food is abysmal. No, it's a six of ten. Six of ten? I mean, I wrote about it for something coming up in a little while, so I don't want to... I can't say. I don't want to drop all my heat. But I just... You know what, Jason? Before you disparage a restaurant that I love, I agree with you, I think. I'm not going there because I think it's just the height of culinary arts. No, that's not why anyone goes there. You go there for the atmosphere and you go there for the service. The service is good. And you go there because you're treated like a star by people who are used to catering to stars and that feels differently. If I'm treated like a star at my local Taco Bell, I'm like, oh, that's nice. I wasn't expecting that. But if they're used to seeing... LeBron and Kim K and whatever coming through and they treat you and me with the same reverence as one of those people. You feel for a moment that you are as good as them. I would agree. I think that's the magic of a lot of restaurants of that caliber. I think there's a whole tier of restaurants that are expensive and nice to be in and fun to eat at and the food is fine and I find myself drawn to those places.

And because you've been living in California for the last six to whatever months, I have found myself at these establishments as well. Well, to be fair, during COVID, the only places willing to risk public health are overpriced celebrity catering restaurants. So that's part of it. Yeah, I was thinking about it today. Your little TJ Cool Guy restaurants ain't open right now. Well, I was thinking about today the irony that I've spent my whole culinary journey I want to seek out these crazy hole-in-the-wall spots that no one's ever been to. Okay, we get it. You've seen Anthony Bourdain's show. Go ahead. I want to do that. And I also want to support these local startup mom-and-pop neighborhood restaurants that I believe in. I think they're doing something really cool and really well. And they need this money way more than going to Houston's or going to Acapulco. To be fair, I'm not taking you to corporate restaurants. That's true. That's true. But as soon as COVID hit. Yeah. For some reason, all I wanted to do or all I did do was go to all these restaurants that have already made so much money and are totally fine and have big financial backing and they're not at risk. I think there's something about it that's just a little bit comforting maybe, even if the experience feels good and we're craving experiences. Well, we're definitely craving experiences and also we're so starved for experiences that we... We need to try something else, something new, something stronger and harder. Me going to Hail Mary, my local neighborhood pizza place, which I love, and getting another pizza, which I love. It doesn't hit. After a while, you know, after a while, you have to up your dosage. Yeah, I know. You know what I'm talking about, Chief? I do know what you're talking about, yeah. I mean, I... You have to move from an 8 to an 0. I really, though, I... To a whole brickie. I feel... i um but but because of that we were i was like all right we yeah that was lowry's steakhouse that was cool i need boa i need delilah yeah i need you know and you have to keep who is the final boss

I think we did it. I think Nobu Malibu is the final boss. Nobu Malibu is the final boss, but once I realized that we got sat in the broke hoe section, then we got... That's a mulligan. I think that it's weird because I agree with you. We got sat in the fucking Chet Hayes section where he picks up fat hoes from Pacoima. I think Chet Hayes is in the better section than we were in. Shout out to Chet. We love you, baby. I agree with you, though. I want to support those kind of businesses, too. Like, I don't... I don't eat at restaurants like this that often, really. I just like them, and I think I talk about it, maybe. How much can I talk about Cafe Mogador and Superiority Burger? It's like, that's not... It is... the same way where like we it's not enough to go to a restaurant that is nice we have to go to a restaurant that also has food that looks good because half the reason we're investing our money in this is so we can get the flick but i love going to you know i also have a passion for new cool restaurants i mean i'll you know i like to check out whatever but also i think that the I just like it all. I think it's okay to like it all for different reasons, basically. Like there's different, you know, like going to bar restaurant, which is actually a great experience and the food is definitely good and like more inventive and like pushing the envelope was just as good as an experience as to me as going to Mr. Chow. It's just two different things. When we went to Delilah, I remember we were talking to the server and being like, you know, what's up with the crowd, you know, and, you know, has it gotten a little like bridge and tunnel-y during COVID? And they're kind of like, well, you know, like business kind of went down a little bit because of COVID, obviously. So now like anyone can kind of come through and come through Drake voice. Anyone can come through Drake voice. So I think and I think we might or myself personally, not you, is also guilty of that of like now, now that the when the cats away, the mouse will play kind of vibe like the. I can finally go see how the other people live. I can experience, I can try a pair of Louboutins on and walk around for a day. Ketchup bottom, you know what I'm saying? Yeah, he said, let me see the ketchup. Let me see the ketchup. I think that that is true. I also think it's just funny, to be honest. I think both of us just like funny stuff. And it's also, the food is...

it's not like it's like this is bad i need to send this back it's like it's just like not it's not gonna blow your fucking mind that's just not what it is you know but one thing thank god that all of these restaurants have in common can you guess what it is that pleases tj blue cheese olives they all have a martini how'd you order the martini okay well that's we'll get to that i'm sorry i apologize to that but it was weird when we went to mr chow it was dead ass a monday at seven o'clock lit And in the 30 seconds it took from us to get out of the car and be seated, I saw 12 to 35 martini glasses. Like a waiter would be walking past me with a tray above his head with just martinis sloshing everywhere. And something about that energy I love. Because that martini, it's literally the strongest drink you can order other than just getting like a glass of... plain whiskey yeah i mean you know during my final days of drinking i would often go to a local like a local watering hole in tribeca and i would have this amazing homemade veggie burger fries and two martinis and i would just be i'd be i go home smoke some grass and i would be i would that's a good ass that's a good friday night That's a good Friday night for me. And I do think a martini is definitely the most sexy drink. It's the most chic cocktail you can have. Yeah, I think ordering wine is like, honestly, there's too much talking that happens. Yeah, I think I'm over wine now. It's like too much talking and like, it's just dorky. Yeah, you look at the wine list, especially at a respectable place, it's like, all right, I'm going to comb through 198 bottles. None of them I know. It's all in a language I don't speak. And you're just desperately like, is this the Chateau? TJ says, let me get Svek on the rocks. Two blue cheese. No, I say, Garcon, Tito's Martini, make it dirty and blue.

Dirty and Blue. Dirty and Blue has replaced, because this is another thing I was writing about. Dirty and Blue does sound like a mixtape, but continue. Are you talking Blue Face Hundreds, or are you talking about Blue Cheese Olives? I'm talking about Blue Cheese Olives. Thank you, I just wanted to clarify. Now that every time I go out to a restaurant, I order a martini, I got one at fucking Cheesecake Factory at the Americana. I'll get one at Mr. Chow. Wherever I'm at, if they have martini, I'm getting one. And I used to... For some reason, I love the blue cheese olive instead of the regular olive. It's a nasty flavor all combined. But they have them almost everywhere, huh? They have them almost anywhere, but I realize that there's no cool, normal way of asking for that. Like, oh, do you guys have blue cheese olives? If you do, can I have my martini with blue cheese olives instead of the regular olive? It's wordy. So before, I would say, like, what are... what are your olive options, which is such a fucking douchey thing to say. Well, you've said it and I've heard it. Luckily, I could say it in a jokey way and it's kind of funny, whatever. But that joke isn't funny anymore. We'll get to that. Yeah, we will. So I ordered them dirty and blue. And Mr. Chow, I tried it out. I was like, Garcon, dirty and blue. And he looked at me and he was like, Dirty and blue reminds me of barbecue speak, like low and slow, and I like it. Well, when you order, that's restaurant lingo, when you order a steak black and blue, that's basically a step even under rare. So that basically means you take a piece of meat and you put it on the fire as hot as possible where the outside is charred and crispy and the inside is literally... still frozen raw, not even cooked a little bit. That doesn't sound good. That's a wild man's way of ordering. That sounds very manly. Maybe that's why it doesn't appeal to me. Yeah, and it does appeal to me. Speaking of manly, Morrissey. Yeah, big Stephen Q. Morrissey dropped from his label. I mean, dude, it's really, though, honestly, tough to watch. It's insane to watch someone unravel publicly.

Like it, it like happens. Is it, is it, is it an unwrap? I mean, it comes with age. I think it comes with age, but it's also like, I think the, the, and I suffer from this compulsion as well. I just don't have the same views, but it's like just to share, like just to talk when you maybe don't need to. you know what i mean so i think if if i if i'm saying some dumb shit that's like makes me look stupid that's fine but morrissey's saying absolutely insane racist shit and like doesn't like doesn't need to like he just feels that people should go back to the country it's cray it's crazy it's crazy and unfortunately i read this thing um that the guy that you like that wrote the radio head book steven hyden wrote um about listening to Ryan Adams now and how because he was like a huge Ryan Adams fan and somebody was like what do you do like when this happens and he was like interesting it's I don't feel the same compulsion to listen to it now that I know this about him and I weirdly don't feel the same compulsion to listen to Ryan Adams either as I as I used to and well I look thank God there's the smiths exactly that's what i was gonna say i mean because i have no prob like i i've i've experienced that with michael jackson like yeah i love the music of michael jackson but it doesn't come up anymore yeah if it comes he's sort of been erased but that's what's so interesting about like being part i think that's but chris brown continues to dominate my timeline with all these cool memes of of the of the video of Yo, yo video of like, imagine if this man followed you to your car or like him doing the dance. And it's like, this is what it looks like in between tweaker hits on the crack pipe. And he's just doing like, I think that the issue is once you're just not kind of part of the conversation and they're like a normal way, people, we just forget about you. You get by Felicia. Yeah, you get by. No, but I mean like, I think when Ryan Adams is putting out music at like a crazy clip and he's like,

party on instagram and on twitter blah blah then it's like you you think about him you know what i mean but there needs to be i think what happened was everyone was like oh mj you know whatever but then when the documentary came out yeah and they saw like like yeah when i was five years old he would make me um like get on all fours and spread my butt my butt cheeks and then he would say hey apple head come on over here and then you're like nope i'm done i don't this is it michael jackson so i'm saying we need to get a ryan adams hbl three-parter no one cares shut this man down yeah no it's gonna be showtime but he's gonna i'm telling you michael jackson though is still existing for sure like most people don't care is the reality like most people don't care or they don't believe it yeah most people for sure like i think that That's just because he's a global superstar and the audience is just so big that you can't really get rid of that audience no matter what you do. Well, you can because you could stop playing his music at weddings. You could stop playing his music on MTV and the radio. You could stop syncing it for commercials. It's absolutely happening. No. No, I bet it's down 20%, but it's definitely not gone away. Guarantee you. No, but if Coca-Cola came out and they had a Michael Jackson song on the commercial, it would be front page news. But if we're at the Lakers game, they're playing Michael Jackson. That's true. That's what I mean. Shit like that where it's like a public, you know. Yeah, because like the fat guy DJ from Power 106. He don't give a fuck. He's getting paid in Miller Lite tickets. Yeah, he's getting paid. So I get a Kobe jersey and Miller Lite? All right, I'll do it. I think that, but I think that that was just, I just thought that was really interesting that, that, but the Morrissey thing is like, I don't, I mean, I definitely will put on the queen is dead and rinse it often. It makes me, it makes me not want to listen to Morrissey solo shit, but I have, I have no problem. I mean, this is the best because that was recorded. Like when we were born, you know, like, I mean, watching Smith, like watching, I just have been going into some, the only thing I can do to like,

unplug is to get deep into youtube music holes where i just spent two hours damn bro have you tried that on weed i have it's actually better this way i think i like because you get to member it i think i member but uh i that's the only thing i can do to like disconnect this is how we pass the nights at the villa carlotta yeah exactly exactly some people are in the pool some people are drinking wine some people might be indulging in some marijuana CB's in room 112, sucking down an Erewhon sparkling water. I'm enjoying my sixth La Croix of the night, and I'm watching a Smith's live video from 1982 where they play Cemetery Gates a little fast. That's what I'm up to. And you're happy as a pig and shit. I am, but I think that that's kind of when I get into... That is where I've been listening to the Smith's the most lately, is in these holes. but you know we have a lot of music discovery too because of our spotify show so i feel like i'm i'm more i'm like i always was aware because in the newsletter we always put the the new releases in the newsletter on fridays um but now i listen to them a little more and i think that just once i start listening to music more in general i think that i just that's my life now like like when podcasting was all i listened to it's just music equals life if you ask me i've heard that tower records is back which is a terrible idea wait is it it's coming back virtually yeah it's like guys now you're you were a real record store like we don't i mean maybe they have numbers to prove like vinyl sale you know what i mean nerd shit but yeah i'm off that it's gonna happen i got discogs baby yeah yeah i'm sorry i can't it's hard for me to talk in this room because jason's got so much his vinyl weighs a ton in here it's his delicious vinyl weighs a ton in here yeah i'm having flashbacks Of us podcasting in my old house in the living room back in the day. Honestly, walking in and sitting down and podcasting, I don't know what I like better. I can't decide. Because I'm very pro our method now because I think it's timely. But this is nice.

Well, you know, I'm a strong proponent of deprivation in every way, and we've deprived ourselves from IRL potting, and now we've edged for 100 episodes, and now it's a full release. I'm finna splash off. I mean, you know, once we open How Long Gone Studios in the heart of Hollywood, it'll be different. You know what I mean? And get in touch with our studio manager about booking time there. But I will be producing albums as well, but it's mostly for podcasting. Oh. Yeah. Don't divulge too much, are we? I don't want to. I mean, there's a few people who have gotten in touch, and they're just kind of like, look, Chris. You're kind of like our favorite vibe guy. We feel like you could really mold the sound. You do play off of vibes. I play off of vibes. Also, I come into a room and I can suck up the vibes and then redistribute them into a better form. You know what I mean? We should talk about our Twitch show that we have this week. Should we? We don't want to jinx it, huh? I don't know if we want to jinx it, but it's going to involve a company move. Yeah, so this Friday, this podcast is coming out Wednesday, aka tomorrow. So yeah, in two days from now, our Twitch show will be on location somewhere else in Los Angeles. A high-income neighborhood. A higher-income neighborhood than the piss-stained floors. Yeah, than the shithole. Man, downtown LA. It's crazy, bro. I'll be walking down the street. and everything is not and you're like oh there's a soho house like this wine store is new and that's kind of cool like but then you go inside the wine store and you're like you just leave this door unlocked like what like whoa and then you turn the corner and there's just like a dead animal but like a big one not like oh there's a mouse that got ran over by a car but you're like oh that's like a 60 pound doll like you see that and then you walk down a little bit more and you're like why is there like

a thousand gallons of like expired milk it's crazy there's like a pool of it in some corner and the smell of it you know it makes your eyes burn dude the smell outside of mad decent protocol is fucking like i'm gonna call 3-1-1 it's loud it's it's weird to experience a smell only in downtown la do you get that smell where you're like if i'm here if i get three good breaths of this It could be over for me. I'm dead ass going to vomit from odor. The only other time that could happen is if you literally stumble upon a dead body type of smell. It's cursed. What can we do to fix downtown LA? I need answers. Well, maybe if Gavin Newsom came down there, if he left French Laundry, After the eighth course and came down. I'm jealous that Big Gav went to French Laundry before I did. And came down to downtown LA. Strawberries aren't even in season, guys. Maybe he could help us. I mean, he can't do shit. I mean, at this point, the only issue, like there's so many things going wrong in Los Angeles. The only issue that you have to fix to win is homelessness. Yeah. And no one's ever going to fix it. It's just like, what are we ever going to do? Echo Park is getting... I don't understand what... I mean, obviously, we're not experts on this. Unhoused, I should say. But it seems like it's just like we don't really care. You know what I mean? Like that's the vibe, right? They've never cared. Yeah, but I mean. But there's also, there's so many. It's like we have 80,000 homeless people. Yes, but that's because they haven't cared for so long. Like this problem, not that it's not ongoing. It's definitely an ongoing problem, especially right now when the government is not, you know, helping people at all and they're out of work. It's only going to push people to more homelessness and living in their cars or whatever it may be. But I do think that it just feels like.

Guys, there's got to be a way to do it. Just spend some money and we can get this done. Yeah, I mean, it's hard to spend the time to help others when you are just barely holding on for your own life. And I think that's what they want our society to be experiencing. So we're all just kind of every man for himself, every person for themselves. Every person for themselves is unfortunately... And that's the way America feels like right now. No, it's fucked. And I also... know that i'm kind of like that and i know it's wrong but it's very it's a very hard habit to break and i mean that's how a lot of people are and unfortunately that's how a lot of people i know who grew up with not very much money or you had a you had a rough childhood or a rough start of like like i've seen the bad side of things i've been to the bottom i've seen the gutter and like i made it out on top like i have a crib i have a car like i'm making money now like i ain't going back to that and you know fuck y'all i'm gonna do me like you you didn't look out for me when i was in the gutter so why am i gonna look out for you which is that if i if i if i give you my my loaf of bread you know how am i gonna eat I mean, sure. That doesn't explain why someone like me who's never had a hard day in his life feels like that. But I do think it's the nature of America and what we're taught. It truly is every man for himself. And nothing has been more illustrative of that than the last year. yeah and you know and any type of social services are kind of looked down upon yeah unless you already come from a wealthy background and you're like then it's like oh that's nice yeah totally it's fucked but downtown is fucked but luckily we won't have to maybe i should stop making fun of teachers so much no it's okay i mean going downtown has been an eye-opening experience and having a week off from that is great even if it's going to take two hours to get there You know what I mean? But I mean, we should probably, I'm thinking about a new outfit for this. Board shorts? Maybe I'll borrow a rash guard from our guest. Stop dropping clues. What? Kelly Slater is confirmed. I mean, I've never worn a full wetsuit, so I don't know what that feels like, but I feel like, I don't think it would look great on me.

It doesn't really look great on anyone. That's absolutely wrong. I would rock. I told you this before. If you don't have a deformed body, like if you're just a normal-looking person. So I would look great on one, you mean? Yeah, if you're a normal-looking fella or gal or person, even if you could lose some LBs, you put that wetsuit on, zip it up to that chinny-chin-chin, and suddenly everything is distributed perfectly. Have you seen Jonah Hill in a wetsuit? That's what I'm saying. It can only do so much. All right. This episode of How Long Gone is brought to you by Quince. Jason, the temps are warming up. It's getting hot out there. Summer always changes how I get dressed. I need pieces that feel lighter, more breathable, and that are just easy but still put together. I don't want to look like a slob. That's why I keep coming back to Quince. They focus on high-quality essentials that feel and look amazing. Breathable linen and soft organic cottons. Well-made basics, but without the luxury markups. That rare balance where everything feels elevated, but still effortless. Yeah, Chris, linen season is here. I wore a linen blazer to dinner a few nights ago in the warm California sun. But, you know, you got that Italy trip coming up this summer. And quality European linen pants and shirts. Upgrade that look starting at just $34. You know, if you get a nice linen suit, a little t-shirt underneath it, some chill shoes, you're looking good, but you're staying cool. The inside of your special areas are nice and dry as you turn up with your besties. So elevate that summer wardrobe. Go to quince.com slash how long for free shipping on your order and 365 day returns, even on a nice holiday now available in Canada. That is Q-U-I-N-C-E dot com slash how long. That'll get you free shipping and 365 day returns. Quince punto com slash how long. This episode of How Long Gone is brought to you by a new podcast from The Guardian stateside with Kai and Carter. This is covering a lot of our bases, Jason. It's trying to slow down.

the news and wrestle with the questions we all have about what's happening in the world and i know you particularly have quite a lot of questions a lot of questions but how often because we do this podcast three times a week and that's a sweet spot how many times do they do three times a week and i i have a feeling just based on the platform and these talking points that they're maybe going to be covering different stuff than we do that's just a guess the guardian is not some billionaire owned platform they're not afraid to say what they want to say brother yeah Rupert ain't sniffing around in in what uh journalists Kai Wright and Carter Sherman are up to over there at uh stateside but yeah listen wherever you get your podcast you can watch on YouTube it's three times a week and and who couldn't use more news you know especially especially when it's when it's not you know from here let's say give it give it give it a listen give it a listen Oh, this is huge for me personally. This episode of How I'm Gone is brought to you by TaskRabbit. Oh, baby, let me tell you something. This is not a joke. I use TaskRabbit a lot because I can't do anything. You need some art hung? TaskRabbit. You need a fucking something put together? A cabinet? Got to reach that cheese grater on the top shelf? TaskRabbit. Anything you need, TaskRabbit can take care of it for you. How it works, TaskRabbit connects you with skilled taskers in your area. They can help you move. They can assemble furniture, repairs, yard work, mounting, and more. You can search for a tasker based on cost, skill set, availability, and past client reviews so you know exactly who's showing up and can have confidence that they know what they're doing because taskers have assembled over 3.4 million pieces of furniture, completed 700,000 home repairs. handled 1.5 million moves, and the numbers are just going up, Jason. Yeah, throw a little money at the problem. It's not so expensive. And that job that you really don't want to do is something that another person out in the world is very good at doing and would gladly do it in exchange for a little bit of money. So when life happens, your to-do list grows. Get ahead of it now and get $15 off your first task at TaskRabbit.com or grab the TaskRabbit app using promo code

How long? Taskers book up faster, especially for same-day tasks. So book trusted home help today. That is $15 off your first task using promo code howlong with the TaskRabbit app or at TaskRabbit.com. Yeah, it's not shapewear. Skims in stores now. Go cop. Even Skims can only do so much. But I'm saying if you could drop 20, 25, you put the wetsuit on and you're like, oh, looking good. No, it's great. Because, you know. The spare tire gets distributed all throughout, and those thicky thighs, they get squished down and fill out the calves a little bit. I'm trying to get the Tom Brown wetsuit that looks like a tuxedo. Oh, my God. It's very sick. What is that for? When you work at SeaWorld? No, I was trying to secure it for this weekend. Oh, shit. It would have been a motion picture, but there's only a few in existence, I believe. Pull up in the Tommy. I feel like I need a new look, a new fit. There's just no time, Jason. There's no time, and I feel like a person like you is not going to do any shopping in failing fashion forward Los Angeles either. I am waiting on my Stussy 40th anniversary t-shirts to ride, which I'm very excited about. So maybe that's an option. I don't know if I'm waiting on anything. You're not. And if you were, it'd be because of me. And don't forget that. Oh, don't forget it when I'm at the top. Yeah, don't forget CB. Wait, wait. No, I don't know. I'm confused now. Every time Burberry sends me new drip, I'll be sure to give you 15% of that. I'll throw you a sock. I appreciate this line of defense you have, but I got the same jacket, and I would like to point out that the Burberry contact is mine. So remember that when you're wearing your little jacket. Well, the Burberry contact was yours, and now the Burberry contact is ours. You know, I have to remind myself when TJ gets a little too big for his already big britches that a win for TJ is a win for Chris. That's right. And that's what true partnership is all about. Yeah, and vice versa, of course. I don't feel like you really believe that. I believe that. I don't know if you want to see CB win. I mean, I'm willing to step on your head to get to the top.

That's what you're saying. I'm willing and actively trying to do that. I would run you over with a car and say it was an accident, but I mean. No, no, no. Once I kind of skyrocket, I have every intention of having you be my manager or something like that. Great. Whatever, driver, however you want to slice it up. Yeah. You'll get a cut. It's all good, baby. I can probably do both because when you're driving, what I've learned being in LA is when you're driving, you can take calls. You know what I'm saying? So just. Your nickname is now going to be Bluetooth because you're going to be spending a lot of time on there. When you and Danny Bowen open a restaurant together, I'll be able to manage your Bon Appetit video career. Yeah, me and Danny got a pop-up at Squirrel Plan. So it's you and Danny at Squirrel, and then what are you doing with Batali in New York? Yeah, it's going to be... Damn, I forgot about Batali. So you and then any other plans? Do you have other plans or is that it? Yeah, I mean, my only goal is to, I mean, you know, Alison Roman. Adam Rappaport from Bon Appetit. Shit, I forgot about him. He got big. He's ghostwriting your book. He got big removed. I totally forgot that that guy existed, but I also felt like that guy never even enjoyed or cared about food whatsoever. Well, it's a funny thing because I think when you get to it, this is true about C-Suite too. I think when you get to a certain level of your career, you just kind of work anywhere because you're qualified for it. I think he had been in publishing long enough where it was like, uh, here. Like, take this job. You're cool. But is he going to be able... I mean, did he get a job? No, but he... No one's going to hire him. Because every person there is going to be like, I quit. No, he'll get a job. He'll get a job. Or he'll start a sub stack. Or a podcast. Or a YouTube channel. You know? Or he'll get a band camp. Who knows? Yeah, I mean, it makes me wonder what happened. Because a guy like that...

How much money do you think he was making a year? What kind of salary was he drawing for being the editor-in-chief of Bone Out? I honestly don't know. $300,000? Yeah, probably. Probably a $300,000? Isn't it weird that that person who's like, I'm the editor-in-chief of a magazine that makes all this money, has millions of people listening and following, and I have hundreds of employees from the top to the bottom, and I make as much money as a mid... to small-sized DJ in Vegas. Screwlex makes my entire salary in one night. I think what you're forgetting and what the reason... They come with other perks, of course. Well, it's all about. It's the power is what you're getting. You're like a real player in this business that you really care about, and that, for some people, is not more important than money, but it's... I feel like that system is crumbling by the day, though. I mean, I don't think that human beings struggling and desiring power is something we're going to see go away. No, no, no. That's always going to be there. But that system, the publishing system, the record label system, the movie studio system. No, I just think it'll be different people getting the power. Yeah, but it's not going to be that way. You're going to have to get it on your own. You're not just going to be able to be... picked and placed into something like okay you're good at your you can do this at kind of i actually don't think that's true i think i i think that it's like a whole group people need to die for that to like actually stop does that make sense It does, but that's happening. It will happen, but that's what I said about fashion. I mean, they don't have to die. They just have to get old enough to where they are not in touch enough to do this cultural job. Anna Wintour should have retired years ago and given that job to somebody that's more qualified, and there's a million people that could do a better job than her. If Anna Wintour was a man, do you think she would have been gone by now? I mean, Graydon Carter was at Vanity Fair for a very, very long time until he just couldn't be there anymore.

You know what I mean? What does that mean? He just couldn't be there anymore. I don't know the details, but I imagine it was. I mean, I think when you're at that level, they come to you and give you an opportunity to shape the narrative of your exit. They're not going to be the face of the magazine for 25 years. We got the Epstein logs. We know you were touching some kids on there. No, not that. Do not say that. I just mean that if it's time to go because shit is stale, it's time to go. So if I take a shot like that at Graydon Carter, what is the equivalent of that for me? Like who is my Graydon Carter? Tom York? Maybe. Something like that. Yeah, I wouldn't put Graydon and Bourdain in the same, you know. Because I actually like Bourdain. Right, right. Quite a lot. Actually, I like Tom York too. I just, you know, not as much as you. I just don't know much about Graydon other than he looks. Well, Graydon is, I mean, he's, he's truly, he's truly is like the opposite face of what any media company would want to have at the, at the top right now. He's an old rich white guy who lives literally in Connecticut, I think, but he, you know, he, but he does. I'm saying those people in those positions, they don't have to die. They're being, they're being deaded right now because you know, all their employees are like, They're able to be like, nah, and get something done. Whereas back in the day, they could say, nah, and they'll be like, all you little fucks are fired. Fuck off. And they used to be able to do that 10, 20 years ago. And now they don't have that power that you're talking about. As many people as weak, we only hear about the people that are like, no, fuck this. I hate him. There's a lot of people who are like, I would fucking clean Graydon Carter's toilets. that's just how it is like you know and that is not going to go away and i'm not saying that's right i'm just saying there's a lot of people that would clean alex jones's toilets too you know what i'm saying but that's what i mean there's always going to be people in power that shouldn't be because that's the case because to be in that kind of power you have to create a but but their platform is not this golden pedestal that it used to be like if you say it's in the eye of the beholder if i it's in the eye of the beholder that's true but

If I say I'm the editor-in-chief of Vanity Fair, I can do whatever I want in New York. If I say I'm the editor-in-chief of Infowars.com, no one's even going to give me the time of day unless you go to a Walmart in Mississippi. You could get a table at Walmart on a Friday. No, you're right, but I think that's the thing. But it is in the eye of the beholder, but I'm talking about your beholder. Your eye. Yeah, but my point is that the... no matter who's in charge and the power structures and all that stuff, it's, it's, there's going to be hero worship at any level. If it's something sexy, like media or food, anything that's like a sexy, desirable career that has faces attached to it at all, there's going to be a level of like hero worship and kind of like unnecessary in a, in a lot of cases like pedestal placing. And that's just going to exist. That's just, that's how the world is set up to exist. Yeah. right or wrong that's just where we are there's no way around that i mean yeah you might have a popping sub stack you know for a couple years but what is that you know where does that lead you it could i mean it where does that that is absolutely true i agree with all that but also like Where does it lead you? I mean, where does having a job at Vandy, where does any of it lead you? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Is the question, because there's no eventual, there's no light at the end of the tunnel. It's just two different paths, you know? But I think that anybody who... But it's like going down the tried and true and tested, but on its way out path. Yeah, yeah. Or the unsure TBD, very brand new, but, you know... It's just two different kinds of people. And the age discrepancy is what goes down either path. I think the days of 21-year-old interns working 14 hours a day schlepping bags on the subway is not going to happen. I think that is over. But I think we're still a while away of the glamorization of a fashion job or a media job. I just don't see that happening in the near future.

The Substack shit and all this newsletter stuff and all that shit, it's the same thing, just in a different fucking package. It's the same idea. There's people that everybody's like, they're looking to and idolizing. It's the same shit. It's just like, oh, they don't have a boss? Like, okay. They're not mean to their employees? That's because they don't have any. Like, we don't know if they'd be mean. Like, it's not, you know. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So what do we, we don't know anything about these people. And they will eventually, I'm sure, like. fuck up in their own ways because they're going to get drunk on power just like everyone else does with whatever job they have like the manager of the local fucking mcdonald's is drunk on power i'm sure a sub stacker with too much attitude is going to be in the same position damn i think that was the first time i've heard the word sub stacker just like youtuber or tiktoker it's real but i'm also yeah i went to fucking equinox so it's just full of a bunch of fucking sub stacker exactly well it's honestly i think sub stacker is going to get used like freelancer you know what i mean Yeah, but at what point will it switch from a derogatory term to... Just a term? Just... I think Substacker... Because YouTuber and TikToker, I feel like that'll always be derogatory. In certain circles. In certain circles, yeah. I think that Substacker is funny. It is very funny. It sounds like a $4.99 meal at a fast food restaurant. Every week you read another article about like, oh, this fucking loser at Substack makes... four times as much money as anybody who works, does that same job at a, you know, at a, at a magazine. I don't think that 10 more years of making money is cool. That's the bottom line. So go, go do a sub stack. I don't think it's bad or good. I'm just saying it's two different things. And I think that there's a certain point where people will just, you know, like I don't, I don't know if I'm paying $50 a year. that's a very small amount of money. So if I click once, that's fine. You know what I mean? If I click five times, that's fine. But if you ain't got the $50, you know, you're just trying to support it. It's just, I don't know. There's no, there's no, if you do something wrong and you're fucked, there's nothing to catch you is what is kind of the difference, you know? Right, right, right. But I think that's true at this point. That's true at any job. Yeah. I mean, do you, how much do you think?

like fashion magazines or any of these magazines are going to be able to weather the storm? Well, the other difference is there's a line of defense before it comes out. You know what I mean? So it's like if you write something and there's some shit in there that shouldn't be, your editor will be like, no, no, no, no. Subset, you push publish, your whole shit's over. Yeah. And that's why I'm such an advocate for the editing of the newsletter and that being like a viable business for the future. I mean, honestly, it's probably all for the best because we are getting more stuff, and I would say more of it is good than maybe ever. Yeah, and I think there's a big parallel with streaming television, the way it would be like, all right, we have Apple, we have Netflix, we have all blah, blah, blah. We have 10 streaming platforms, and you can bundle them all together and get all these channels in one place, and then somebody eventually will be like, ladies and gentlemen, we just created cable television. Congratulations. The very thing that you created to be the opposite. It's already the same. And the same thing is happening with Substack. Already. We have this thing and you can monetize your platform and write whatever you want. And now you can use this service to hire an editor and they'll watch your stuff and you have this thing to do this thing. And then eventually they're like, ladies and gentlemen, we've reverse engineered a website. This is blogs, bro. You have a blog now. So I think that... that's always going to happen over and over again. No, you're right. I mean, that's probably the best way to look at it. But before when we've advanced and been able to figure out a way to monetize it and the subscription model is, everyone is betting on that being the future of everything. And that's just the way it has to be. So we've gotten smarter at figuring out how to monetize things the right way to where these creators can be paid. Because before, when you were a blogger 10 years ago, There would be a million different bloggers and seven of them would be making real actual money. And everyone else would be like, I make $8,000 a year blogging. And you're like, holy shit, that's crazy. How did you do that? No, you're right. It is going to be the same. But at a certain point, then it becomes, okay, if I was actually subscribing to all of this streaming stuff, it would cost me more than cable.

You know what I mean? And for me, I don't need all of that. But I think a lot of people that we know that have the income and the time are subscribing to at least five or six streaming services at varying price points. Whereas I pay for cable and Netflix. And Netflix, I only really have because I feel like I would be missing out on conversations. Even though it's been... divide it up it's not like netflix is running the show like they were but i would say they get the most maybe not but the most talked about oh absolutely debated content they're making the most it's so crazy i mean i remember when they were like we're gonna be 9.99 from 7.99 and then they went from 9.99 to 12.99 and now they're going to 13.99 like it's gonna be 20 bucks them them adding one dollar makes them like 90 million extra dollars a month, I think. That's fucked up. That's wild. That's wild. Like they make billions of dollars, billions and billions. And we still don't even know what... We don't have any data. We don't even know how many people are watching this shit. That's the coolest part about it. It is, I know. And they show us like a ranking, but like, okay. That's like a website saying most clicked on article. Like, okay. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's not real. That's not data. That's like you telling me. Yeah, it's the same as me looking at the new MacBook Pro like, oh, I want to check this out. And it's like, this computer is going to be six times faster than the other computer. And you're like, bitch, what other computer? Which one? You guys make a lot of computers. The good one. But it's enough. That's all I need and it's all I care about. I mean, I think we are truly in the golden age of content and there's too much. But when there's too much... It just takes more time to find what's good. But that inherently means there's more good. Oh, yeah. Yeah. That's why I'm considering starting my zine. I think, look. A zine. As a zine head. As a zine. As a guy with an apartment full of zines. You know? I remember when people couldn't pronounce zine or vegan. Zine and vegan. Zine and vagin. Vagin? That sounds like a female sex organ. Well, I think.

My grandma used to pronounce it vegan. By the way. And we'd be like, nah. And then somebody was like, no, literally, that's the correct way to pronounce it. Shut up, nerds. It's true. I mean, if you just look at it, the way we pronounce it. We're not pronouncing shit phonetically on this side, bro. It should be V-E-E-G-A-N. That's a good name. Isn't that a DJ's name? Or is that V-E-G-Y-N? There's a Y in there. How do you say that? I think that's probably just vegan, but yeah, it's with the Y. There's a lot of those words like Los Files. Nobody pronounces that correctly, but you're a loser if you pronounce it correctly is the problem. If you're white, at least. Yeah, if somebody calls you Jason, I'm like, you're a fucking loser. It's TJ. Yeah, if you call me the M-Genes. Like my man, Jerry Salt Z. Jason has been embattled in an interesting convo with art critic and Pulitzer Prize winner Jerry Saltz on Twitter where he said, Hey, Jerry, when we potting? And Jerry seems very confused, but I can't tell if Jerry's acting a little bit. I can't tell either because he's up in his years and he is disconnected from everything except for the art world, but also he's appeared on... many podcasts of all different types do you think even recent like he did a like the harvard business review podcast like in like a few weeks ago do you think what are the chances of him doing how long gone right now okay i would say yesterday when i threw that hail mary pass to him and said when we potting i would say four percent chance of him agreeing to it or day two and day two he responded He responded to many tweets. People started piling on. Being like, do it. There's a grassroots movement, and there's been 10 or 15 different people like, Jerry, do it for the culture, bro. And then I'll get a notification that says, Jerry Saltz, like to tweet your mention in. And it'll be my friend being like, do it for the culture, bro. And I'm just imagining Jerry Saltz, a Pulitzer Prize winning.

celebrated writer just like hitting a heart on his phone. Do it for the culture, bro. Honey, I guess they want me to do it for the culture. And then he'll reply back and saying like, what is the M genes? Tell me about you. And I'll be like, here's all the stuff about me. What are we going to talk about? Here's what we're going to talk about. And then he'll be like, what is left you gone mean? That is the name of the podcast. I'm like, are you senile or are you trolling? I think he's horsing around, but... Jerry Salt Z, you are on my last nerve if you're listening, and I know you are. Yeah, it's time for you to fucking put down the iced coffee and come on the pod. That's the damn truth. Yeah, I think... I've listened to him on David Chang's podcast a couple times. On whose podcast? I've listened to him on David Chang's podcast. Yeah, that's not good. David Chang just loves him because he wrote the article about his eating habits. That's why. That's why everyone wants him on the podcast because they're like, oh, this fucking guy is a freak show. I got to hear everything about him. Then the Harvard podcast was asking him all about that as well. Don't worry, Jerry. We're not going to talk about your eating habits. People were very fascinated by that. I think he liked to talk about it, but he was kind of like, I never knew that I was a freak until I started telling other people about my habits. Then they're like, No, it's not normal to go to the bodega and buy 30 chicken breasts and a garbage bag full of broccoli, steam all of that together in one big bucket, put it in a refrigerator and eat that for breakfast, lunch and dinner every day for the month. That is not normal. But it's also like whatever you're doing. whatever mine created that game plan i need to know more let me soak it up because holy fuck you were a man you think and i'm instantly fascinated like to me like if i'm at a dinner party or if i'm at anywhere and somebody tells me that i'm like

I could be talking to Emrata. I could be doing all these things, and I'll be like, move. You, me, we're going to... So chicken breast, broccoli, 30 days. I have one billion questions. You're my new best friend. I understand that. I need to study you. I understand the compulsion. Jerry doesn't do a lot for me. I find him a little obnoxious, but people find me obnoxious too. Yeah, people do find you obnoxious. People find Jerry obnoxious, but you don't... The problem with Jerry is that he's one of those people who... When you read his work, it's like, this is incredible. When you follow him on social media, you're like, I don't know. What's going on? Well, maybe you're the opposite. They follow you on social media and say, this is incredible. And then they read your work and say, oh, this is also incredible. But then what is the downside to you? Maybe you don't have one. I got a lot of downsides. We don't have time. We don't have time. But I mean. i i give him a pass on the social media because of his age like he was he's like 70 years old i would too but at a certain point it's like if you're participating that much i don't care how old you are you should kind of start to learn how it works yeah but i mean like if you're if your dad woke up and had a million followers on twitter what do you think he'd be doing that's true how do you think he'd be navigating those waters he would be he would just be like he would tell you today like i Chris, what does on fleek mean? He would be so behind. On fleet, you mean? The new Twitter function? On fleet. Yeah, I mean, and I feel bad for big Jerry Salt Z. He's like, now I have to do a fleet? What is a fleet? It's just a story, but it's on Twitter. It's a tweet that will expire within 24 hours, just like an Instagram story. So Twitter and Instagram are literally the same now. Yeah, and the funniest part about it is it's all just Snapchat. It's all going, because we all... Big Evan married, what's her name? I don't know. Yeah, you know who it is. Orlando Bloom's ex, the Victoria's Secret model. Yeah. That dork, Miranda Kerr. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, that's right. So he... Kerr used to be a little baddie back in the day. Kerr, still bad. Still a baddie, still bad. We know you like an Australian, but she... I can't. I can't.

I found her on Snip Chit. I found her on Snip Chit. But they, he really, he didn't sell for like three billion. And then they all ate his motherfucking lunch, just stole his swag. Yeah, because that was a problem. They Cali swag district his ass. They fucking, they said, I'm a jerk, new boys. Because everyone would be like. snapchat is the best you can like post shit and it goes away after 24 hours you can send somebody a picture of your dick and it gets deleted and you can do this and this and this and then and then you would download it and look at it and be like i'm a grown-ass man i can't be like what is this like it looks like a weird little like video game for five-year-olds like nobody uses it over the age of 16 i can't do it i never downloaded it and then they're like we're gonna buy it we're gonna buy this off of you and implement it and he's like nah bro and then they're like okay We are going to eat your lunch. And now they have stories. They have Yelp stories, Facebook stories, Twitter stories, Instagram stories, the whole thing. And so now it's like, that's it. We never need Snapchat. Damn, who's going to write the 10,000 word obituary for the grid? RIP the grid. I love the duality of grid on stories. I think so too, but I think most people, the grid is not even a thing. No, it's not. It's not really part of the combo like it used to be. I was talking about it with Kyle about his story today about ambient television. You got A-roll and B-roll. True. I think we're... And his article is about how the B-roll has become the ambient television that we all like to watch. Kyle's so good. Ambient television is such a catchy phrase. It's so descriptive. He's so good at that. It's like... We don't deserve him. That shit went... I mean, that shit was everywhere today. It was viral. And I think part of it is ambient television. I'm clicking. Like, what does that mean? Like, I need to know what that term is. I love television. I love ambient. I don't love ambient. Yeah, even freaking Jerry was like, what is ambient music?

And I was like, I had to send him a YouTube clip of like, here's an ambient song. Did you send him a YouTube clip of an ambient song? Yeah, I've devoted my whole fucking life to Jerry Salt Z in the last 48 hours. You've turned full Salt Z. Yeah, he was like, I had to explain what my DJ name means. I had to send him a link to the Master P Them Jeans YouTube. I was like, it's a reference to this Master P song. Do not click play or else you definitely won't come on the podcast. I'm giving him the full white glove treatment. I'm treating him like I'm a car salesman at the Benz dealership and I got a big fish on the line. I got a whale coming in to get the 500. Guys, pay attention. Follow at them jeans on Twitter. Watch this space, bitch. Watch this space to see them jeans really. I couldn't help but to think or to compare when I was doing my kettlebell swings today. Fishing has been on the brain lately. So whether it's for amphibians or art critics? Well, you know, when you're pulling up a big lunker, sometimes you've got to let a little line out. Bitch, you can't call anybody a big lunker. That's literally what you are. Salt Z is a lunker, okay? So if they're like, hey, I want to get this fucking bro DJ guy, I know, whatever. That's like catching a tadpole. I put the hook in the water, pull him up. yank him into the boat whatever onto the next one but but somebody like a salt z you gotta you gotta finesse it you gotta go down to the bottom you gotta troll it you gotta wiggle that lure just right and once he bites you gotta go easy you gotta wear him out okay thank you for joining us guys uh it's been a lovely one-on-one pod What a roller coaster. And, you know, it's been a long day for us. How long gone after dark? The first podcast where TJ and I were actually in the same room. Can't wait to hear how it sounds. I can't either. Will it be better? Will it be worse? We apologize for our technical error. It will not happen. Well, it'll probably happen a couple more times in our existence, but it won't happen soon. Also, we're the only people who know that there was a technical error. I know, but I like to be honest with the fans. You know what I mean? Yeah, all trust, baby.

We will have a new podcast on Friday with a guest. Yeah, probably. And a Twitch. Don't miss the Twitch. It's going to be a motherfucking motion picture. Bye!